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Do You Have A Blueprint For Living?

Updated: Feb 7

Do you have a blueprint for living? If not, well here it is...


This is a synthesis of 12 step theory and surrendering to a Higher Power, becoming who you truly are, and questioning the myths that we tell ourselves. It's time to invoke your 'God Mode'...


Do you have a blueprint for living?


There is a passage in the 12 step 'Big Book' (the most succinct and direct path to a spiritual awakening that has ever been written, aside from the Bible) pages 60-63 which states the following:


"The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. On that basis we are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though our motives are good. Most people try to live by self-propulsion. Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way. If his arrangements would only stay put, if only people would do as he wished, the show would be great. Everybody, including himself, would be pleased. Life would be wonderful. In trying to make these arrangements our actor may sometimes be quite virtuous. He may be kind, considerate, patient, generous; even modest and self-sacrificing. On the other hand, he may be mean, egotistical, selfish and dishonest. But, as with most humans, he is more likely to have varied traits.


What usually happens? The show doesn’t come off very well. He begins to think life doesn’t treat him right. He decides to exert himself more. He becomes, on the next occasion, still more demanding or gracious, as the case may be. Still the play does not suit him. Admitting he may be somewhat at fault, he is sure that other people are more to blame. He becomes angry, indignant, self-pitying. What is his basic trouble? Is he not really a self-seeker even when trying to be kind? Is he not a victim of the delusion that he can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this world if he only manages well? Is it not evident to all the rest of the players that these are the things he wants? And do not his actions make each of them wish to retaliate, snatching all they can get out of the show? Is he not, even in his best moments, a producer of confusion rather than harmony?


Our actor is self-centred—egocentric, as people like to call it nowadays. He is like the retired business man who lolls in the Florida sunshine in the winter complaining of the sad state of the nation; the minister who sighs over the sins of the twentieth century; politicians and reformers who are sure all would be Utopia if the rest of the world would only behave; the outlaw safe cracker who thinks society has wronged him... Whatever our protestations, are not most of us concerned with ourselves, our resentments, or our self-pity?


Selfishness—self-centredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt. So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own

making. They arise out of ourselves... an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn’t think so. Above everything, we must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us! God makes that possible. And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of (his false) self without His aid. Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore, but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to. Neither could we reduce our self-centredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have God’s help.


This is the how and why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn’t work. Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director. He is the Principal; we are His agents. He is the Father, and we are His children. Most good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom.


When we sincerely took such a position, all sorts of remarkable things followed. We had a new Employer. Being all powerful, He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well. Established on such a footing we became less and less interested in ourselves, our little plans and designs. More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life. As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life successfully, as we became conscious of His presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter. We were reborn (see 'The Hero's Journey).


We were now at Step Three. (We prayed). Many of us said to our Maker, as we understood Him: “God, I offer myself to Thee—to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of (my false) self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!’’ We thought well before taking this step making sure we were ready; that we could at last abandon ourselves utterly to Him."


This is the key to growth and transformation. The more you give the more you get. If you are selfless and make sacrifices you get so many more blessings and miracles than if you are egocentric.



Forget for a moment who you think you are. Forget the life story, crafted by a select few events, you’ve been identifying with.


What lies ahead?



I have no clue. But more importantly, neither do you.


When we think about fulfilling our potential we usually think about getting degrees, accolades, prizes, and climbing career ladders.

That’s not what I mean here.


What I mean by fulfilling your potential is unique. All of the above smells like being part of the script. I’m convinced that your true potential lies outside any preexisting script.


You could do something we don’t have the vocabulary for yet. You could go somewhere that isn’t on a map. You could become something no one has ever imagined becoming.


Or it might be something more modest like tending to a garden or being full of joy at every moment in your life. Whatever it is, if it’s the expression of your unique spiritual DNA, you’ll feel that you’re fulfilling your function.


Compare that with the life you’re living right now.


The lives most of us live are so tightly scripted and rigidly defined they’re hardly worth getting out of bed for. We have conditioned ourselves into a Groundhog Day existence.


You know it’s true, don’t you?


Haven’t you had one or the other morning, after being torn out of your slumber by a violent alarm, sitting on the edge of your bed wondering what’s it all for?


Is making money and raising children so that they can become another shuffling herd animal the best we can do?


These little sitting-on-the-edge-of-your-bed-wondering-what’s-it-all-for moments are wake-up calls. Usually, we dismiss them and keep slugging through the trod.


Instead of brushing those moments off as a bug in the system, treasure them. Nurture them. See them as the beginning of the plant trying to break through the seed’s shell.


Up until now your life might have been not much more than a conditioned reflex. You’ve followed the script just like everyone else.


I’m not blaming you. We all do it because that’s what our upbringing amasses to.


That’s also the reason why it’s so hard to break from it. Everyone you know is following the script and everything around you wants you to follow the script.


But what do you want?


Most of us smother the spark of discontent beneath all the emotional debris piled on top of us that we have no chance of ever discovering life.


If your spark of discontent is still alive start fanning it. Turn it into a flame that devours all the falsehoods, conditioning, programming, false negative beliefs, and attachments keeping you in herd formation.


Most of the life decisions we make are minor ones. Examples of minor decisions are:

  • Which subject to study at university

  • Where to invest your money

  • Whom to choose as your partner

  • What career to pursue


Surprised?


I bet you are.


The above examples are usually considered the biggies. I call them minor ones. What they amass to is choosing what colours you want to use to fill in the hand-me-down colouring book.


Those decisions are concerned with the content of your experience. The biggest decision, which few people make, is to choose your own context.


What if university, money, partner, and career are nothing you want to have anything to do with?


What else is there? That’s the question, isn’t it? It's about who you are truly BEing and becoming without whatever is on your CV. Who are you if you had nothing?


And that’s where we yearn for simple pre-digested answers. We want to find our unique path but we still prefer to have someone lay it out for us. But the only way to find the answer to this dilemma is by creating it yourself.


You don’t have any idea who you are until you are it.


The biggest enemy we have to face is not others, society, or the government. It’s fear. It’s our own survival mechanism.


Most of our life is controlled by fear, that is, until we wake up and square up.



Fear-based decisions are appropriate when your immediate life is in danger. But how often does that happen?


What happens instead is that we choose life paths based on fear.


We choose a career based on fear (”I might not have enough money if I don’t become a lawyer/doctor.”). We choose a partner based on fear (”I hate this person but if I don’t stay with her I might end up alone.”). We choose to postpone our dreams based on fear (”I will first work for 35 years to have some security before I start pursuing my dream.”).


To become who you really are usually takes courage and surrender. Courage because you have to summersault down the cliff of uncertainty.


Terence McKenna wrote “This is how magic is done. By hurling yourself into the abyss and discovering it’s a feather bed.”


Surrender because you have to give up what you think you are, release the illusion of control, and allow your authentic journey to unfold.



If you feel stuck where you are, then it’s probably because you’re locked in a circular repetitive motion of the same thoughts and emotions.


Imagine walking in circles in sand for years — at some point you’ll have a track so deep, it will be hard to climb out of it.


And the longer you keep circling in the sandbox, the more you’ll feel like a victim — a victim to thoughts, emotions, circumstances, other people, the government, and on and on.


But when you realise that no one is doing all that unwanted stuff in your mind to you, then you can haul yourself out of the sandbox. You can choose a new thought and a new feeling.


Instead of bullying yourself all day long, you can choose your Self.


And then you can keep choosing your Self over and over again until the thought of ever deviating from who you really are is as unthinkable as a square circle.


The Spanish poet, Antonio Machado, wrote; “Caminante, no hay camino, se hace camino al andar”, which means “Wanderer, there is no road, the road is made by walking.” If you can see the whole path ahead, then it is not your path. The path is made one step at as time into the darkness. This is done with courage and Faith.


Questioning the myths that we tell ourselves

The first time I came across influential psychologist and psychotherapist Carl Jung’s most powerful question, it made me question my life in a way I’ve never done before. He says, “The most important question anyone can ask is: ‘What myth am I living?” What stories have I believed about who I am, what my life means, and how the world works? We all have them. I have them. You do, too. These stories are running my life. It’s called “narrative identity.” Your brain creates a story to make sense of your life.


Jung thought these myths live in our unconscious.


They push us forward or hold us back. We act out these stories every day without realising it. Jung explains, “Everybody acts out a myth, but very few people know what their myth is. And you should know what your myth is because it might be a tragedy and maybe you don’t want it to be.” If I believe the world and survival is a fight, I live out a myth of the warrior. Every struggle feels like life or death. If you believe love will solve everything, you live out the myth of the romantic. Each choice becomes about finding or keeping love. These are not just thoughts. They are the lens through which we see the world.


I tell myself stories all the time. And so do you. We all do.


They’re not always obvious. They’re the unconscious thoughts running in the background. Sometimes, they’re loud. Other times, they’re quiet. They are defining my life trajectory. At my worst, I’ve told myself I’m not capable. I’ve told myself I don’t belong. I’ve told myself I’m not good enough. I’ve believed stories that kept me stuck. Stories about things never changing. They felt real. But they were lies my mind made up. They were lies I repeated until I believed them. Stories in our heads feel real, but they are mostly made up. Author Brené Brown thought the most dangerous stories are the ones we tell ourselves. She’s right.


So many people have chosen to identify with their struggles. They’ve chosen specific identities as anchors for life. That single decision has changed their trajectories and motion (or lack of it). The stories you tell yourself create your reality. If you say, “I’m stuck,” you stay stuck. If you say, “I can change,” you start to change. Your mind listens to the words you repeat. It filters reality to match your beliefs. It’s called “confirmation bias.” If you believe you’re unworthy, your brain looks for proof.


You notice the rejection, not the acceptance.


The stories we live affect how we feel, how we think, and how we act. I might think I want a big career because that’s what success looks like in the myth I’m living. But what if, deep down, I don’t care about status or money? What if I’d be happier living the myth of the explorer, travelling, or pursuing new experiences? It’s the stories that trick us into thinking we want things we don’t actually need.


Myths are like mental blueprints.


We act them out because they’re familiar. Once a belief system is in place, confirmation bias kicks in. I start filtering out anything that doesn’t fit my myth. If I believe I’m unlovable, I’ll dismiss every compliment or sign of affection. Most of us don’t even know which myth we’re living. We just react based on hidden beliefs, desires, mindsets and subjective worldviews. Jung said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” That can mean I’m running on autopilot, blaming life for things I could change if I understood the story driving me.


So, what’s the point of asking, “What myth am I living?” Because if I don’t ask, I’m not in control. My life is just a series of reactions. But if I do ask, I can choose. I can rewrite the myth. I don’t have to live as the warrior, the victim, the hero, or whatever role I’ve unconsciously chosen. I can step back and see the bigger picture. Therapists talk about reframing: taking a harmful story and giving it a new meaning. Instead of, “I’m bad at this,” you tell yourself “I’m still learning.” Instead of, “They don’t like me,” you ask, “Could they be busy?” It’s a more balanced view of reality, especially when you can’t change what people do or think.


Most of my pain came from my mind’s stories. Not from reality. They can break or build me. My own stories can keep me small or help me grow.


Gerhard Wehr wrote in 'Jung: A Biography' “I did not know that I was living a myth, and even if I had known it, I would not have known what sort of myth was ordering my life without my knowledge. So, in the most natural way, I took it upon myself to get to know ‘my’ myth, and I regarded this as the task of tasks, for-so I told myself-how could I, when treating my patients, make due allowance for the personal factor, for my personal equation, which is yet so necessary for a knowledge of the other person, if I was unconscious of it? I simply had to know what unconscious or preconscious myth was forming me, from what rhizome I sprang.”



“What myth am I living?” forces me to confront my filters. It challenges me to see past the story I’ve been telling myself. Because once I see the myth, I can’t unsee it. I have to do something about it. That’s where real change happens. Most people are scared to ask this question. It’s easier to stay in the myth, even if it’s not working. It feels safer. But growth only comes when you break free from the old story. You and I both know that. Every time I’ve made a real change in my life, it’s because I questioned something I’d taken for granted.


Maybe you’ve had those experiences too. The hard part is that once you question the myth, there’s no going back. But that’s the power. Once I know the myth, I can rewrite it. I can choose a new story. And this isn’t just some feel-good idea. Studies in narrative therapy show that when people rewrite their life stories, their mental health improves. They feel more control and more purpose. They stop being passive players and become active creators. It’s a shift in perspective that changes everything.


The most important question anyone can ask is, “What myth am I living?”The answer might change your life. It might help you see the hidden patterns you couldn’t see before. It’s key to self-awareness, growth and self-freedom. It’s the start of rewriting a narrative identity that fits who you really are and feels true. And once you start living consciously, not out of inherited myths, your life isn’t just a series of automatic reactions. It’s a choice. And that’s really worth living.


Conclusions

Learn to have compassion for your own predicament. Learn to love your self. Learn to trust your intuition and surrender fully to your Higher Power. Become who you truly are. Question the myths that you tell your Self. For this you will need openness, honesty, vulnerability and courage to make a choice. You are resting in pure consciousness and unconditional love. The vibrations that you will emit will resonate with every human being. You become the optimum environment for everybody you meet to experience that love within themselves. Everyone you meet, you will meet in that place. Quieten your mind and open your heart. The only work we have to do is on ourselves. Man minus mind equals God.


Eckhart Tolle wrote that “You can only lose something that you have, but you can not lose something that you are.“ Stop confusing your net worth with your self worth.


The key to joy and peace is to serve others:Robert Ingersoll wrote “We rise by lifting others.”


Even when you are drawn into senseless melodrama, and chaos, your only job is the purification of your Self. Don't let your Self be caught back in the illusion. Know thy Self. This is how you will find meaning and purpose in your life. What one man has to offer to another is his own BEing. The minute you awaken, the minute that you get an inkling of who you truly are, the meaning of all your problems change. You don't fix problems, you outgrow them through transformation. The solutions will become self-evident. We have to end paranoia and interpersonal conflict. An awakening person starts to realise that every moment of his day is Self-created and is part of a gradual evolutionary process of awakening to his true BEing. Everything that has happened so far in your life has been part of that. The moment on the Undergroud tube (subway if you are from USA) is equally important as the moment in the cathedral. You can choose to increase the illusion or awaken out of it.



The synthesis of these three concepts contains your blueprint for living...


Namaste.


Sending you love, light, and blessings brothers.


Olly

Dr Olly Alexander Branford MBBS, MA(Cantab), PhD.

Fully qualified and certified coach


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Hello,

I am very pleased to meet you. Thank you for reading this far. I very much look forward to connecting with the highest version of you, to seeing your highest possibility, and to our conversations. Please do contact me via my email for a free connection call and a free experience of coaching.

See you soon,

Dr Olly Alexander Branford MBBS, MA(Cantab), PhD

Fully qualified and certified coach


“Transformative life coaching uniquely creates and holds the space for you to see your self afresh, with clarity, and step into new ways of BEing, which will transform how you perceive and intuitively create your world. My work is to guide you to raise your own conscious awareness to the level that you want to achieve.”

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I have a Bachelor's degree in Natural Sciences from Trinity College, Cambridge; a Master's Degree in Philosophy from Trinity College, Cambridge; a PhD Doctorate in Scientific Research from University College London (UCL); a Medical Degree (MD/MBBS) from The Royal Free Hospital School of Medicine, London and have been a doctor and reconstructive trauma and cancer surgeon in London for 20 years. I have published over 50 peer reviewed scientific journal articles, have been an associate editor and frequent scientific faculty member, and am the author of several scientific books. I have been awarded my Diploma in Transformative Life Coaching in London, which has International Coaching Federation (ICF) Accreditation, as well as the UK Association for Coaching (AC), and the European Mentoring and Coaching Council (EMCC). I have been on my own transformative journey full time for over five years and I am ready to be your guide to you finding out who you really are and how the world works. I have written 400 articles for you and an eBook to guide you on your transformative journey, which are all available for free on my website - click on the link below:


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