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Don't Fix You: Outgrow Your Problems

Updated: Jan 27

You don't need to fix you. You simply need to outgrow your problems...


Coldplay sang 'Fix you.' The lyrics go as follows:


"When you try your best, but you don't succeed

When you get what you want, but not what you need

When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep

Stuck in reverse


And the tears come streaming down your face

When you lose something you can't replace

When you love someone, but it goes to waste

Could it be worse?


Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you."


But, what if you are whole and unbroken? You can't 'fix you' and neither can anyone else. You don't even need to fix you. Carl Jung, psychiatrist, founder of analytical psychology and all-round spiritual Master, wrote his greatest works, his 'Red Book', during periods that some would have ill considered a 'psychosis.' Coldplay's lines should have said "And I won't try to fix you" or, even better "I will guide you home, Love will ignite your bones, And you will outgrow the small you."


Life’s toughest questions feel endless. They haunt us and demand answers. But what if there are no final solutions? What if our search is fruitless and unnecessary? Carl Jung thought we don’t conquer our problems; we grow past them. Carl Jung wrote that “The greatest and most important problems of life are all fundamentally insoluble. They can never be solved but only outgrown.”


What if Coldplay had written "I will guide you home, Love will ignite your bones, And you will outgrow the small you"? That would have been more on point


Jung argued that logic or reason alone cannot fix life’s greatest problems. Jung thought life’s most significant issues were not meant to be solved or 'fixed'. They are meant to be experienced and outgrown.


Life’s biggest problems - things like love, identity, purpose, meaning, and our place in the world - don’t have clear answers. You can’t just solve them with formulas or single concepts.


As we grow, the details of our big problems don’t weigh us down in the same way. Things like how my past affects my future, the uncertainties of the future that once felt impossible to comprehend, seem different now - not because I have 'solved' them but because I’m not the same person I was. I've grown. I am no longer the 'small me' - my ego.


Jung’s view aligns with the wisdom of philosopher Soren Kierkegaard. He said, “Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.” Their idea shifts my focus from trying to fix everything to simply living and experiencing life. It replaces stress with curiosity. We’re not trapped; we’re evolving. For every problem, I aim to find growth and wisdom; moving beyond my problems is how I avoid getting trapped by them. I don’t conquer challenges as much as I evolve beyond them. As I grow, I develop new strengths and perspectives to conquer the next one. Jung observed that we expand to surpass our troubles. New experiences and fresh perspectives make us bigger than our problems. We connect with our Higher Power - we expand our Selves.


It’s like climbing a mountain. The higher you go, the smaller the problems at the bottom feel. Life experiences, learning, and self-becoming are like climbing those steps. They expand our perspective and understanding. So, instead of forcing a solution, we evolve beyond the problem itself. As we reach the summit, the whole landscape changes.


The real progress happens when I outgrow my emotions and ego. I learn to communicate better, be more patient, and understand others' perspectives. Even with something as fundamental as fear - like the fear of failure or abandonment - we don’t really solve these fears. We learn to live with them, to push through them, and eventually, they lose their grip on us. We step into the light. The light in our eyes becomes obvious. I’ve had moments where fear paralysed me, but looking back, I see how those fears faded as I gained more life experience. We don't solve fear - we outgrow it as we step into the light.


I’m using Jung’s wisdom to rethink my biggest challenges. For every area, think of expanding your perception, shifting your approach. What seems overwhelming will start losing its power over you. Not because the problem changed but because you did. The problem remains, but you’re in a different space. That’s the value of outgrowing our problems. Jung wrote “We don’t so much solve our problems as we outgrow them. We add capacities and experiences that eventually make us bigger than the problems.”


The hardest challenges or questions don’t have easy answers. We change over time. We learn, experience, and become different people. These changes often make our old problems seem smaller. We don’t conquer our challenges as much as we evolve past them. We’re always changing and growing. Our problems stay the same, but we become bigger than them. Life becomes less about finding answers and more about experiencing them.

Jung’s concept is a path to an inner freedom.


“Nobody ever figures out what life is all about, and it doesn’t matter,” physicist Richard Feynman said. You don’t need all the answers to live a great life. You don’t need all the answers to enjoy your life. Enjoy the small things even if they feel insignificant. Love the people close to you. Experience everything. Don’t stress about finding a perfect answer. There might not be one. Some things, events, and issues in life are just there, part of the human experience. We can’t eliminate them, but we can learn to live with them or, better yet, rise above them to find inner peace. There is a solution. Look inside and grow. It's time for 'The Shift.'


Speak in such a way that others love to listen to you: Listen in such a way that others love to speak to you.


George Bernard Shaw wrote that “Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” Are you ready to change your mind?


Namaste.


Sending you love, light, and blessings brothers.


Olly



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Hello,

I am delighted and enchanted to meet you. I coach men with 'Deep Coaching', 'Supercoaching', and Transformative Life Coaching (TLC). Thank you for reading this far. I very much look forward to connecting with the highest version of you, to seeing your highest possibility, and to our conversations. Please do contact me via my email for a free connection call and a free experience of coaching on Zoom or in person. 


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