From Ego to Self
- olivierbranford
- May 13, 2024
- 8 min read
Updated: Jan 28
Carl Jung wrote that “The first half of life is devoted to forming a healthy ego, the second half is going inward and letting go of it.”
The journey from 'ego' to 'Self' can manifest as restlessness, a sense of emptiness, or questioning our life choices. It can feel unsettling. But it is the most important journey that you will ever take…
How to find your true Self
According to Carl Jung, the iconic Swiss psychiatrist and spiritual Master, the first half of our lives is driven by the ego, the conscious self (note the small ‘s’) that interacts with the material world. We try to fit in, wear masks, pursue careers that our parents told us would be ‘worthy’, and build our lives around societal expectations. We fail to acquire the skills and knowledge needed for life. We try our best establish ourselves in society. Most people focus on outward expansion or pursue external goals. They lay shaky foundations for their social identities to evolve.
As we approach midlife, a natural turning point emerges. While life often unfolds in a linear narrative, Jung observed a distinct subtle shift midway through life. He called it the “Second half of life - An inward search for our whole Selves and meaning that transcends the superficialities of youth. The ego’s dominance wanes, and a new force emerges the ‘true Self’. This is a deeper, archetypal aspect of the human psyche that represents our wholeness, our authenticity, our conscious and unconscious selves. It yearns for integration, reconciliation with our shadow aspects, and a connection to something larger than ourselves. It is no less than the soul.
People often experience this shift through existential questioning. External rewards feel less fulfilling, and gnawing questions arise: “Who am I, beyond the roles I play?” and “How does the world really work?” Jung observed it as a period of profound psychological transformation. For him, it was not a time of decline but of “flowering.” A stage of life where people turn inward and engage with their unconscious selves to become their ‘full’ true Selves. “We cannot change anything unless we accept it,” he observed.
It feels like you’ve spent years climbing a mountain, driven by the desire to reach the peak. Now, standing at the summit, you realise the true beauty is not in the view, which is disappointing and not what you expected, but in the journey itself. You begin to appreciate the hidden valleys, the rugged paths, and the lessons learned along the way. Central to Jung’s understanding of the second half of life is his concept of ‘individuation.’ Unlike the ‘first half,’ where we focus on externally driven goals and acquire a social identity, the later phase is an integration process. People accept their ‘shadow’ Selves: The hidden aspects of themselves they ignored in the first half of life. The part society and our parents deemed unacceptable.
Jung thought acceptance of our darker selves (our shadow) was key to wholeness. “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate,” he said. Turning inward means facing the “archetypes,” the powerful universal elements embedded in our collective unconscious. The ‘Self’, representing the totality of the psyche, becomes a central archetype we strive to integrate. It unlocks a sense of unity, purpose, and connection to something larger than ourselves.
Jung thought of the second half of life as a time for confronting our mortality. Pondering the finite nature of life compels us to re-evaluate what truly matters. That mental shift leads to a reprioritisation of values. A focus on deeper relationships and the pursuit of genuine meaning. Jung did not shy away from the challenges of this transition. Facing your shadow, confronting mortality, and integrating archetypes can be very emotionally demanding. According to Jung, overcoming our ego’s dominance is a massive obstacle for many people. While it served its purpose in the first half of life, clinging to it rigidly in the second half hinders Self-realisation. The question is, how do we integrate Jung’s wisdom in real life? The first and most important step is recognising the shift in the many areas of your life.
Relationships can take on a different meaning. The need for external validation and approval transforms into a desire for deeper connection and intimacy. At work, external markers of success like promotions and salaries become less important than finding purpose and meaning. You may transition to careers that align with your values and inner purpose, even if it means sacrificing some material comfort. You define success on your own terms based on your deeper values, inner growth, and contribution to something larger than yourself that can bring deeper satisfaction and fulfilment. “Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes,” said Jung.
Many people focus on their spiritual growth in the second half of life. As Jung explored the archetypes of the collective unconscious, he observed the inherent human yearning for meaning and connection to something larger than ourselves. In the later years, the limitations of material pursuits become more evident. People engage in contemplative practices or connect with the mysteries of existence.
The shift towards introspection is not for everyone as it is arduous. From ‘ego’ to ‘Self’ can manifest as restlessness, a sense of emptiness, or questioning our life choices. It can be unsettling. “The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely,” Jung said. Unresolved conflicts, buried emotions, and hidden desires surface, often manifesting as stagnation, depression, or existential angst. But it presents an opportunity for profound transformation. “There’s no coming to consciousness without pain,” say Jung. Resisting change only prolongs the discomfort. Embrace the uncertainty and fluidity of the second half, which opens the door to self-discovery.
Make time for quiet reflections, journaling, or meditation to make the inward turn a success. Explore, feel, and surrender your emotions and recurring themes in your life. Seek a better understanding of your unconscious self, values, motivations, and fears. Revisit your assumptions about yourself, your relationships, and the world. Allow yourself to shed outdated identities. Don’t think of the second half of life as a decline but as an accumulation of experiences that shape your unique perspective. Share your wisdom and revel in the richness that comes with time. Reconnect with activities, experiences, and personal projects that spark your soul, regardless of societal expectations. The reawakening can inject your life with meaning and purpose.
Be aware of what you can't control and pray for the serenity to accept them.
The ego tries to control the things that cannot be controlled: This is the source of fear
Seek connections that nourish your soul. Invest in deeper friendships, reconnect with estranged family, or join communities that share your values. In the first half, success often defines us. But in the second, pursuit of meaning takes centre stage. Explore spirituality, volunteer your time, and use your voice in public. The second half of life is a chance to shed the masks and expectations, to finally embrace the true Self and to leave the world brighter than you found it. This is indeed a Hero's Journey and is the main focus of 12 step recovery. It is also the path to abundance, Real Personal Power and success in your career.
From ego (wounded inner child) to Higher Self
Jesus said, according to Mark 8:36, “For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?”
Speak in such a way that others love to listen to you: Listen in such a way that others love to speak to you.
George Bernard Shaw wrote that “Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” Are you ready to change your mind?
Namaste.
Olly
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