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How To Live

Updated: Jan 28

There is a solution. There is a programme for living. Yet when we grow up, we are not given a programme for living.


Studies have shown that at least 85 percent of people are dysfunctional. Dis-ease has become the norm. Dr Gabor Maté describes this in his book 'The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture', which is in my 'Suggested Reading' list. Dis-ease is simply a way of coping with the chaotic, Dystopian world that we currently live in. In his new masterpiece, renowned physician, addiction expert, and author Dr Gabor Maté dissects the underlying causes of this malaise - which is both physical and emotional, and connects the dots between our personal suffering and the pressures of modern-day living. With over four decades of clinical experience, Dr Maté has found that the common definition of 'normal' is false: virtually all disease is actually a natural reflection of life in an abnormal culture, as we grow further and further apart from our true Selves. Society fractures our psyche. Dr Maté shows us the pathway to reconnection and healing.


There is a programme for living: And it's not a secret. It is found in the overlap between the various fields and disciplines of positive psychology (eg. Jungian theory); philosophy; spirituality; the Big Book of 12 step recovery; 'A Course In Miracles'; and ancient religious texts such as the 'Bhagavad Gita' and the Bible.


In this article I lay out the very simple programme. This is the very short 'Big Book' of life. This is the path...


There is a very short and simple distillation of the 'Big Book' of how to live


How to live

Titch Nethercot captured how to live beautifully when he wrote “Do you love adventure? This begins with a breath and just letting go. Move with the flow and see what happens. You don’t always need a plan.”


Welcome each wave of life and emotion with acceptance and Amor Fati (love your fate). Nothing happens by chance. God does not play dice. It is the part of you that loves you the most that co-creates life with the God of your understanding to redirect the course of life and give birth to your saviour: That saviour is you. Happy birthday my friends. All is well. 


Simply breathe. Surrender to the present moment - also called the 'Holy Instant.' Stop trying to control the Universe: That's just your aggrandised petrified, asleep ego acting out of fear. Let go and lean into the flow of the river that is life. When each moment comes, simply be present and let life unfold in front of you. If you need to make a decision, make it from a place of presence, and simply ask "What would love do now?" Try this and see the miracles that will occur naturally. If you do this, the 'Promises' (on page 83 of the 'Big Book') of the 12 steps will manifest for you.


The Promises

Here are the 'Promises':


If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.


  1. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.

  2. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.

  3. We will comprehend the word serenity.

  4. We will know peace.

  5. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.

  6. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.

  7. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.

  8. Self-seeking will slip away.

  9. Our whole attitude and outlook on life will change.

  10. Fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us.

  11. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.

  12. We will suddenly realise that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.


Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialise if we work for them.


The great texts from the disciplines mentioned above repeatedly capture the essence of how to live. The answer is in plain sight. The answer is written all over the walls. It is very simple, for those who have eyes to see.


The 'Desiderata' by Max Ehrman is an example of a text that conveys how to live.


The 'Desiderata' by Max Ehrman


I consider the person who has conquered their mind and desires more courageous than the one who has conquered their 'enemies and opponents' because the hardest (and only real) victory is the victory over one's Self. As we are all one, and only love is real, we can come to realise and accept that there are no real monsters out there. The answer is always to take the journey inwards. You can only change your Self.


Speak in such a way that others love to listen to you: Listen in such a way that others love to speak to you.


George Bernard Shaw wrote that “Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” Are you ready to change your mind?


Namaste.


Sending you love, light, and blessings brothers.


Olly



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Hello,

I am delighted and enchanted to meet you. I coach men with 'Deep Coaching', 'Supercoaching', and Transformative Life Coaching (TLC). Thank you for reading this far. I very much look forward to connecting with the highest version of you, to seeing your highest possibility, and to our conversations. Please do contact me via my email for a free connection call and a free experience of coaching on Zoom or in person. 


“Transformative life coaching uniquely creates and holds the space for you to see your self afresh, with clarity, and step into new ways of BEing, which will transform how you perceive and intuitively create your world. My work is to guide you to raise your own conscious awareness to the level that you want to achieve.”







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I have a Bachelor's degree in Natural Sciences from Trinity College, Cambridge; a Master's Degree in Philosophy from Trinity College, Cambridge; a PhD Doctorate in Scientific Research from University College London (UCL); a Medical Degree (MD/MBBS) from The Royal Free Hospital School of Medicine, London and have been a doctor and reconstructive trauma and cancer surgeon in London for 20 years. I have a number of other higher qualifications in science and surgery. I have published over 50 peer reviewed PubMed cited scientific journal articles, have been an associate editor and frequent scientific faculty member, and am the author of several scientific books. I have been awarded my Diploma in Transformative Life Coaching in London, which has International Coaching Federation (ICF) Accreditation, as well as the UK Association for Coaching (AC), and the European Mentoring and Coaching Council (EMCC). I have been on my own transformative journey full time for over five years and I am ready to be your guide to you finding out who you really are and how the world works.




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