Like most of us, I spent my whole life hustling for success. Why? Because our parents and societal conditioning tell us that we must in order to be successful, loved, and worthy. Don’t believe this – it’s a mass delusion. It needn't be this way.
Why are billionaires so miserable and have terrible, toxic relationships and dysfunctional families? Because they are driven by a sense of lack. Nothing is ever enough.
If you would like guaranteed hustle-free and hassle-free success then there is a complete paradigm shift that is required, where you won’t feel stress, but you will succeed beyond your wildest dreams, with rock solid foundations. Plus, you can do this with effortless ease.
Don’t you think it’s time to do everything differently? We have tried hustle, and it doesn’t work in the long run. Hustle is based on ego. But why do you act so big when you are not so small? Hustle leads to hassle. Do you want to create real inner and outer success? Do you want to know the principles of effortless success? This is no life-hack, no shortcut, ‘no 10k-influencer’ bollocks. Is your life not working for you? Be really honest with your Self.
When you get really clear about what you want and need, the Universe conspires for you to get it. There is a catch – you are going to have to let it be easier than you think. And that’s not what society told you. Fuck society – it’s screwed! This will be more fun than you can imagine and will happen faster than you think. This is the road to joy, physical health, mental wellbeing, wealth, limitless possibility, and abundance. As Mooji says "This is not your job, this is your joy." This is my first article in a series about ‘Hustle-Free and Hassle-Free Success.’ Shall we dive in?
What is the key to hustle-free and hassle-free success?
What do you want? What is stopping you?
Your limiting beliefs are simply your fears. Fears are an illusion. They are simply the gunk that we inherited from our parents, who may have loved us, but not enough for us to be our true Selves. You are a limitless being, held back by your societally imposed fears. If you take away the limiting beliefs, then you become limitless. You need to believe that this is possible.
So, you just need to recognise obstacles when they come up and just get past them, rather than being consumed by them. If a stick floats down the river and gets stuck, it doesn’t need years of therapy, it just needs a little nudge and then it will get back into the flow of the river. That flow is Universal consciousness – that letting go of your fears allows you to fulfil your inner and outer purpose with ease. This article is about those little nudges. You have an innate wisdom, an inner knowing, an inner quiet voice that tells you what to do, and access to all the intuition of the Universe if you let it. The methods described below are simply a way of turning up the volume on that voice and trusting the Universe. If you can hear it, you can choose to follow it.
Don’t believe the ‘experts’
You are the expert on you. There is a difference between what the so-called experts say will work and what actually works. The only Faith you need to have is a total belief in you. Your experiments can’t fail – they are just there to help you learn. We are going to test the hypothesis “How effortless can my success be?” and “How wonderful can my life become?” It’s time to act, based on intuition. I am a scientist, a philosopher, and I know that despite my PhD and many scientific achievements, no-one teaches wisdom. So you will conduct the experiments your Self, and become the expert on your life.
What is it that you really want to do? What is it that you want to make your life about? Are you ready for the life of your dreams? When you do what you love, it doesn’t even feel like work. You need to take the path of least resistance, so that it takes you in the direction that you want to go. You must let go of lack, and the feeling that you have to do this to be someone. The first step is to do things that you love doing – and by creating in this way you will have all the energy you need, with 100% support from the Universe. The secret is that this turns out to be the fastest and easiest way to become who you want to be, do what you want to do, and get what you want to have. Wisdom is a feeling, not a lecture.
Solid foundations – the four pillars
For this approach to work, you must build solid foundations first. No more tall towers built on quick-sand. If you don’t do this, you will have to put in a lot of effort for very little reward. There are four pillars to the foundations:
The first pillar is to know your Self. Click on this link to know your Self:
For this you need to take the Hero’s Journey. Click on this link for the Hero’s Journey:
The second pillar is trusting your Self. Don’t ‘Fake it ‘til you make it’. You are not an imposter!
The third pillar is loving and accepting your Self.
To love is to find inner joy. How does joy work? Is there a difference between happiness and joy? Click on this link for everything you ever needed to know about joy:
When you come at success with gratitude and a sense of already being full of joy and that ‘All is well’ rather than looking for success as a way of bringing these things into your life, it’s an entirely different experience.
The fourth pillar is coming alive and inspiring your Self. You will know when this happens. You will feel it. Like a nuclear reactor being switched on. Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and do that. Because what the world needs is people who come alive. You don’t see this as the people that you see on your daily commute, your friends, and people in general are stuck in empty, desolate lives that don’t make them happy. When was the last time you didn’t see a grey, unsmiling face on the Underground or your commuter train? Everyone is stressed and depressed.
You don’t have to wait for a teacher to inspire you. Go out and seek the things that inspire you and do them. Get really excited about the things that you really want. It’s the difference between getting in a boat and flowing down the ‘river of inspiration’ or trying to carry a heavy boat over your shoulder to negotiate the rapids: That way will be slow and painful. The former way is effortless, and will feel like flow, as you will have all the energy you need, and you won’t be in conflict with anyone except maybe your parents (but there is something that you can do about that) – but this is your life! You have heard the term getting into flow – that is exactly what we are going to do together.
Things that get in the way of flow states
There are ten things that get in the way of flow:
1. Not knowing how
2. Not having the right skill set
3. You don’t believe you can
4. You don’t try
5. You don’t feel like you have the energy levels or the wellbeing to do so
6. You don’t have ways of dealing with the people who might have different goals to you and seem to be getting in your way and are stuck in ego
7. You aren’t motivated enough. Do you really want more of the same?
8. You don’t have time
9. You don’t have the money to do this
10. You are scared
These are the things that are holding you back from doing what you want to do. Once you realise what the obstacle is, there are simple strategies that will give you that little nudge that will get you back into flow. You don’t need goals. They just hold you back. General Eisenhower said that “I find planning utterly indispensable. But I find plans utterly worthless.” When you are in flow, you will notice what is going on inside and around you. You can’t respond to a plan on a piece of paper. We fight life as it never presents itself the way we expect. You need to tap into your inspired ideas and subsequent actions. You can work really hard and get nowhere, or to a place that doesn’t inspire you. If you can get to that place in half the time and without the struggle, would you do it? You don’t have to do it the easy, effortless way, but you can. You will chart your way through it. You are your own saviour. The feelings that come up inside you are your guides.
Self-help is not about ‘improving your Self’
There is nothing wrong with you. You are whole, unbroken, and resourceful. It’s the idea that you have to be different to get what you want that creates all the problems and that gets in the way of you having it.
Loving your Self unconditionally is no more than accepting your Self as you are. This is simply about you creating the most wonderful life that you can create for your Self.
Just do what works for you. Therapy deals with the present and the past. Coaching deals with the present, and asks “What can I do with the present to create the future?” Edmund Burke wrote “You cannot plan the future by the past.” We find life in the present. The other difference between the two disciplines is that therapy asks “What happened to me as a child to make me this way now?” You will have an automatic reaction from childhood to any trigger. If it’s hysterical, it’s historical. It’s about cause and effect. Every time ‘that thing’ happens you will feel a certain way. These things are not actually relevant to how your life turns out if you don’t make them relevant. So the question in every moment is “Do I want to make my life about my reaction, or about what I want to create?” This may mean overcoming some fears. So, you will need to feel the fear and do it anyway – and this becomes easier every time you do it, as you will see the results and know that you can handle it. You get to the place where you recognise those moments of choice and simply ask “What would love do now?” Click on this link to read my article on this:
In this way you will make your life more and more about what you want it to be about rather than the triggers and reactions. When you need to, go inside, take three deep breaths and come back to the present.
What works for you?
What matters is what works for you. You are the only one who knows what works for you in practice. Experimentation is fine. You will find that a guide or Enlightened Witness is essential for your journey. I have had every kind of therapy and tried countless ‘self-help’ books, but what really worked for me was Transformative Life Coaching (TLC). It will vastly reduce your time taken to achieve what you want and will avoid pitfalls and wrong turns. You don't need 'self-help' books (note the small 's' as it represents the ego), you need your true Self (note the capitalisation of the 'S' as it represents your soul, who is your saviour).
Go with your experience every time. Test out the cauldron that is life. Learn from your experience. There is no such thing as a mistake – there are only lessons. Be open to trying new approaches, especially if your old ones haven’t worked, or left you stuck, empty, deadened and disassociated inside. Use the approaches that appeal to you. That is how to create and achieve limitless success. Leave the rest. Angels will carry you on their wings, with Grace, when you have done the inner work and are aligned in your inner purpose and outer purpose.
Joy and success
Joy and success are two aspects of the same essential diamond. You want an internal joy and peace, and you want external things and success to align to them. Money won’t make you happy if you do not have joy without it. You will simply be insatiable in your drive for money and it will inevitably turn to dust, along with your joy.
You can have joy and success together. That’s what this article series is about. You can they also have all the other good things that come with those, such as people that you love to share them with, and the time to do it. You need to allow your Self to have both.
Most people put joy and success in the wrong order. They think “If I get the things that I want then I will be happy.” That’s doesn’t work. It’s not true. This is societal conditioning. Billionaires are not full of joy because of their money if they weren’t before they had it. Of itself, acquiring things doesn’t bring us lasting joy. The easiest way to achieve success is to start with the joy. Joy must come first: It is the most essential part of your new foundations.
What would you want in your life if you didn’t have to be unhappy about not getting it? What would it be like if your joy wasn’t dependent on getting what you want? It would be very peaceful! What would you be free to want if you didn’t have to get it? This introduces ease and effortlessness. And it also removes attachment to circumstances and things, which is essential for joy.
Success is in your own mind
The word success didn’t even exist until 1537 AD. What does success mean to you? It’s an activity that we talk about as if it was a thing. You can’t put success in a wheelbarrow. It only exists in the way that you define it in your own mind. What does success mean for you?
Please answer this question: "If you were on your death bed, what would you be really pleased that you had done?" For me it’s serving people by guiding them to discover the Truth of who they are and BEing a light for those in despair.
Set goals that make you come alive. There is a difference between rational goals and goals that make you go 'wow.'
Positive psychology
This was only formalised as a field in 2000. This is a study of those who those people who are well, successful, and have joy in their lives: There are four kinds of happiness:
Pleasure - this means just feeling good. There is a biological limit to how good you get to feel. The limit is irrelevant as no-one is even close to their 'edge.' You can learn, through meditation, to take the good feelings with you in all aspects of your life, so that your life becomes a meditation: This is mindfullness
Satisfaction - also known as gratification. Whereas pleasure feels good in the moment, satisfaction feels good after. Satisfaction comes from a worthy challenge. Studies show that every day, the happy person does something difficult. So you cannot sit back and let it all come to you as that won't bring you joy. Exercise brings satisfaction. It's the 'daily private victory that signifies satisfaction
Meaning - Also known as fulfillment. It's possible to have meaning in the midst of any circumstance. It's a deeper joy. Meaning comes from making a difference. It's when what you do matters. This is my emphasis on service. You can bring meaning into your life. Make your life your message. Craft what you want your life to say. Let your life speak. Let your life be your message. For me it’s service with clarity, compassion, and love. If you don’t like it, change it. You have a choice as to what your life looks like. This follows the Natural Law of cause and effect, which is the same as Newton's third law (which simply states that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction). The fastest way to future rewards is by following present joy. The question is irrelevant when love is the answer. Notice what changes you would need to make to make your life more like that message. Ground your theory into practice: Just take one action today that will give your life more meaning. Begin to make this real. Your life will become a message that you are giving out. This will bring deep joy to your life. The key here is to make the differences that you can make, and don't make the differences that you think you should: Start where you are. The key is to act in this moment, in the present. Do it right now
Contentment - This is a choice that you can make in any moment. You can just declare your Self to be content. This is the basis of gratitude. That you want what you have rather than make the wellbeing mistake of always trying to have what you want. You decide to be full of joy even if none of the things that you want will happen. Don't upset your Self in order to motivate your Self: This is the key to joy. Your joy does not depend on people, circumstances, places, or things. The only reason that people are unhappy is because they think they should be. We have been conditioned to be unhappy until we get what we want. And all the world's marketing strategies take advantage of this: "You will be happy if you buy this car" for example. Never be angry at your children in order to motivate them to change. Love unconditonally. Anything else is a miserable way to live. Though the skills learned during a miserable life can be used in your new joyful life. Either we create unhappiness in our Selves, as a result of our conditioning during our childhood, because we think that it will motivate us to change: Or we think that being happy would say something about us - that we are loveable or worthy. We need to be willing to be at peace even if things don’t go our way. That is the key to joy. And joy is the key to success. We need to be able to let go of success before we can truly access it. Whatever you can do when you are unhappy, you can do it better and with less effort when you are full of joy.
If you are able to cultivate these four types of joy, then you will be so much more successful, so much more effortlessly.
Joy, when felt and expressed authentically awakens joy in others.
This is the first pillar I mentioned above. Who would you be without your CV and without your story? Who is the real you? We are diamonds - there is a perfection to the essence of who we are. Through life we start to accumulate horse manure all over our diamond - stories about who we are, what we might have done, or what people have said about us. Because we don't want it to look like horse manure we put nail varnish all over it so that we look pretty. This is a mask, a façade, a persona that we hope people will like, but we are afraid that they will see through it to the horse manure underneath. Instead of clearing away the horse manure, we put more and more nail varnish on. Knowing your Self is the exact opposite: It's clearing away the horse manure so that you can see the diamond again.
Self-remembering
Create a witnessing part of your Self - you are there, but you are also aware that you are there - this is your witness. This will also help the horse manure to be washed away without having to do anything about it - just witness it. Witness the parts of your Self that aren't working for you. Like watching a movie of your Self.
You are getting in touch with the parts of you that are unchanging, that is underneath. Your intrinsic value never changes, just as a dirty currency note still has the same value regardless of how dirty it is. It's very easy to lose your Self in imitation love - power, money, addictions, or the internet. The process of recovery means to recover your Self, just like washing the diamond. Once you have awareness, you can participate in the distractions, but they become a totally different kind of activity.
There are three habits that will help you to build this pillar of knowing your Self:
The first is do it like it matters - whenever you're doing it, do it like it matters. Do it as if it was the most important thing in the world. Do it with energy, enthusiasm and like it matters. Just by making that decision - if you're cleaning the dishes, then clean the dishes as if cleaning the dishes really matters. As if it was important and when you bring that extra bit of yourself to it that extra bit of mindfulness or consciousness or self-remembering it transforms the activity.
The second thing you can do is make sure that you build holidays into your life. I've always loved this: The American word is vacation as in vacate as in don't be there anymore. The British word is holiday as in Holy day as in a day of something sacred and so I've always thought given the choice I'd rather take a holiday than a vacation. It doesn't just have to be going away for a week or going away for a month or even going away for a day when I say take a holiday I mean take time out in the day to reconnect to that sacred thing in you, that meaningful thing in you - to whatever it is that makes you feel alive and that makes you feel inspired.
The third habit is to just face everything. Socrates said “The unexamined life isn't worth living” and you can take that too far and you can over examine everything and probably - you've got some experiences of having done that. But when you face what's going on around you it's always easier the more you try to hide your head in the sand and pretend things aren't there again you lose that trust element (part of the second pillar above). You can't trust your Self as you are not taking it in.
Just doing those three things is so powerful: Doing whatever you're doing like it matters; Taking breaks - taking holidays or respites - taking time out to just breathe deeply and just get back in touch with that good feeling inside you; Just facing whatever there is to face. Knowing that by facing it you've already diminished it - you've already made it less. Those three things are going to really allow you to bring a presence and aliveness and a sense of wellbeing into whatever you do. That is going to be one of the things that just makes it really easy as we move forward and start looking at now what do you want and how are you going to get it?
One of the reasons that people don't want to face things is they think if I don't face it it will go away. Now what you probably realised is it doesn't work that way. One way of thinking about it is you have a choice about when you take out the rubbish in your house. You can take out the rubbish every day and it will never build up significantly. You can take out the rubbish when it's pretty full and that can work. You can wait to take out the rubbish until it's overflowing. You can wait to take the rubbish out until it comes to life. Sooner or later you're going to have to take out the rubbish. But the choice is yours and if you are willing to face things as they come they're usually much easier than they would be if you let them build up.
And this is one of those things where the prescription is also the cure, because whenever you directly face what's going on, whether it's going on in your Self, or it's going on in your life - whatever is not real, and a lot of it turns out to not be real, so it dissolves. It dissolves in the light of your attention - in the light of your conscious awareness. And that leaves you face to face again with that diamond - with that original Self: With that essential you. The reason that we spend so much time not facing things is because we think that what we're going to see when we really look is horrible. We think we're going to see that horse manure. In fact what's really there underneath isn't the horse manure - it's that diamond.
It’s the diamond within. So the very thing that you're trying to avoid looking at is just the cover of something absolutely wonderful. When you really begin to wake up to what is there inside you, your entire experience of being alive is going to change.
Trusting your Self
So one of the foundational pillars to creating an extraordinary life to doing all this stuff is trusting your Self. This is the second pillar I mentioned above. And the simplest way to trust yourself is to be trustworthy, and that really comes down to the practise of radical Self honesty. Which means that you've got to be honest with yourself about what's going on for you - what you're thinking and feeling. You don't have to take it too seriously. It's just the thoughts that go through through your head. But because you acknowledge them and don't pretend they're not there you know that when something else comes up you can listen to that and you can trust that as well.
Here's a few tips for really increasing your Self honesty and increasing your ability to trust your Self:
One is just make sure no one overhears the conversation in your head. So, what you say in the privacy of your own mind is yours - you don't have to share all that with other people all the time. Of course, it is crucial to wellbeing to be authentic and vulnerable with the right people, but not everyone is the right person. There is no point in being vulnerable with toxic people. In fact, there is no point in having any communication with them. They are not your tribe.
So, while you can continue to tell people that you have no connection that you feel fantastic when they ask you how you are because it may be useful in the context of what you are doing always tell your Self the truth, which is that sometimes you feel fantastic and sometimes you feel kind of crap.
Interestingly the more honest you are willing to be with your Self when you feel crap, the more fantastic you will actually start to feel. So it's something about just being willing to be with your Self and be real with your Self that actually enables you to ride through the inevitable waves of up and down that we all go through without getting stuck trying to be up all the time or getting stuck in the down as a reaction against that. You are removing the emotional superglue.
So if you allow yourself that space you're actually then free to just think whatever you think and let those thoughts be there but without making a big deal of them because really what it comes down to is just realising that your opinion is just an opinion. The problem isn't that you think these negative thoughts - the problem is if you engage with them as if they're really important. 'Let Your Self Off the Hook': Then you are able to have negative imagery and Self-talk about what things are going to be like without that actually dragging you down. For my article on unhooking your Self from your thoughts click here:
The real piece about trusting your Self is that you have to learn which feelings to trust: For me it comes down to the difference between when something feels good and when something feels right. So, you'll have to feel that for yourself. You'll have certain feelings that let you know this is right for me for now or this is not right for me for now. It’s your yes and your no and when you get really clear about what your yes feels like and what your no feels like you can go anywhere because you have this amazing guidance system that's alive inside you. This is a reliable guidance system: It’s learning your own signals and thinking about it as that.
There's three levels: Your head; Your heart; Your gut. And you have to learn to use your head absolutely when you want to be able to discern. You also want to be able to tune into your heart. Tune in to your heart by putting your hands on your physical heart on your chest so you really feel your heart in your body and think a joyous thought - think about someone that you love - think about someone who loves you until you really have such a wonderful feeling inside there and then ask your heart for guidance. Ask your heart for a better way to take care of your Self in this situation. Ask your heart for a way to move forward.
There is a lot of research done by the ‘Institute of Heart Map’ that shows that this not only gives you reliable answers - it makes a massive positive difference to your health. And so even when you've checked with your head and got your head answer, and checked with your heart to get your heart answer, you still need to just go to your gut and ask does this feel right? If it does, great, follow it. If it doesn't you don't need to understand why, just trust your gut.
Again you want to do that in the context of being trustworthy: That you have told yourself the Truth, you've looked at what's going on around you, and you know where you are. It just about whether you follow thoughts in your head and you try and follow this sort of rational chain of thoughts and the voice in your head says “Well you shouldn't do that” and one of the ways you know that it's not the voice to listen to is that you hear words like ‘should’ or ‘shouldn't’ because those words are scripted and you were taught that. Nobody is born with those words inside their head. Some of that might be useful but most of it just gets in the way. It certainly gets in the way of your inspiration. But you can make the decision in any moment “Am I going to follow my scripting made by the loud brash voice in my head?” That voice inside your head is not the voice of God (your intuition), it just sounds like it thinks it is. In other words it’s your ego talking, that petrified 7-year old you, who really doesn’t want to run your life. And you can follow that - all the shoulds and shouldn'ts and musts and mustn'ts but that is going to lead you to a very uninspired life. That's going to lead you towards very traditional choices and ways of thinking. It won’t lead you to a fulfilling life; not a life that is going to make anyone go "Wow", let alone you. There's another voice - the Quakers call it “The still small voice within.” Some people call it the inner voice. I call it the voice of inspiration. Or the voice of intuition. Or the voice of God. And when you turn down the volume on all those other voices telling you what you should or should’t be doing or you at least listen to them and go you know the problem isn't that I think I'm a bad person - the problem is that I think that's meaningful that I think I'm a bad person. Then you're free to suddenly hear that inner voice. That voice of wisdom: That voice that knows what's next: That knows things that you couldn't possibly know. If you follow that voice, you will leave the most incredible life that you could possibly imagine...
For more information about effortless success I recommend the book 'Effortless Success: How To Get What You Want and Have a Great Time Doing It!' by Michael Neill,which is in my suggested reading list:
Suggested Reading
Click here for the books that I know will help you along your journey of recovering your Self:
Namaste.
Let me know if you would like to continue this conversation...
Email me: hello@transformativelifecoach.co.uk
My gift is to be your guide on your very own 'Hero's Journey'...
Please let me know if you would like to join our 'VOICE for men' VIP community: 'Vulnerability & Openness Is a Choice Ensemble', 'Visibility Is Power', where men can find their strength, courage, and authenticity, by dropping their egocentric fears and instead communicate openly with vulnerability. We are co-creating this space. It will change your life. It will empower you. This community is a safe space for men to connect and discuss philosophy, spirituality, positive psychology, awakening to Self-realisation, wisdom and timeless Truths, to share our experience, strength and hope, and to find solutions to our pain and fears. Our meeting is free to join. There is no script, just sharing.
“Transformative life coaching uniquely creates and holds the space for you to see your self afresh, with clarity, and step into new ways of BEing, which will transform how you perceive and intuitively create your world. My work is to guide you to raise your own conscious awareness to the level that you want to achieve.” Olly Alexander Branford
My coaching themes and services for men: Transformative Life Coaching, Transformational Coaching, Life Coaching, Personal Coaching, Positive Psychology Coaching, Recovery Coaching, Trauma Informed Coaching, Work Addiction Coaching, Workaholism Coaching, Addiction Coaching, Mindfulness Coaching.
Click here to read all my articles:
Hello,
I am very pleased to meet you. Thank you for reading this far. I very much look forward to connecting with the highest version of you, to seeing your highest possibility, and to our conversations. Please do contact me via my website for a free connection call and a free experience of coaching.
See you soon,
Olly Alexander Branford MBBS, MA(Cantab), PhD
Click here for my glossary:
Click here for my website:
Click me to contact me:
Click here for my free eBook all about Enlightenment:
Click here for my LinkedIn profile:
Click here for my Medium articles:
I have a Bachelor's degree in Natural Sciences from Trinity College, Cambridge; a Master's Degree in Philosophy from Trinity College, Cambridge; a PhD Doctorate in Scientific Research from University College London (UCL); a Medical Degree (MD/MBBS) from The Royal Free Hospital School of Medicine, London and have been a doctor and reconstructive trauma and cancer surgeon in London for 20 years. I have published over 50 peer reviewed scientific journal articles, have been an associate editor and frequent scientific faculty member, and am the author of several scientific books. I have been awarded my Diploma in Transformative Life Coaching in London, which has International Coaching Federation (ICF) Accreditation, as well as the UK Association for Coaching (AC), and the European Mentoring and Coaching Council (EMCC). I have been on my own transformative journey full time for four years and I am ready to be your guide to you finding out who you really are and how the world works.