Love is Not ‘In The Air’: Love Is Inside You
- olivierbranford
- Mar 8
- 33 min read
Let's talk about love. People like love. It's one of the best things in the world. Why? What is it? Where does it come from? How do you get it? How do you stop from losing it? Yogis are taught that love is Shakti (energy) flowing through the fourth chakra.
Sometimes you meet somebody and somehow you feel love. You just feel love - just beautiful energy. It's amazing: It just wells up inside. And so, you say “I love you.” That’s what you say – it’s very ‘romantic’. Eventually you will catch on that not only is it not romantic; it’s not the truth. And in fact that kind of love is very dangerous to your wellbeing! This article will explore why.
If you tell somebody you love them, you have pretty much signed the end of relationship: It will be a write off. I will explain the deep teachings here. Why is it that when you meet somebody you may feel that they are your 'soulmate'? You meet somebody and you just feel this love. ‘Love at first sight.’ The reason is not because that person is special. I'm sorry to say this but it's true. You are not the same as them, however much you think you might be. You have reasons that you don't feel love. You want to talk about the reasons that you do feel love. What about the reasons that you don’t feel love? If you do feel love inside, then you're not going to be into this game that you need somebody to feel love. That’s just an addictive ‘chemical’ romance. So, my question, is why can't you find somebody that makes you feel love?
OK, so why do you need another person to feel love? Why does it take somebody else? Why does it take something outside of you for you to feel what's inside of you already? You feel love inside your Self. You feel a place in your heart – you feel this love come up. So, I'm challenging you. Why do you need something outside of you to feel something that's inside of you? That’s a very funny but almost universally accepted concept. Eventually you will find out you don't. So, what's the game? What's going on? It’s not that you don't have love - you have love. So intoxicating inside of you that you could pass out. Any time you ever want. You wave your hand across your heart and love comes pouring out of you. You just want to just lay down and just melt into it all by your Self. That’s who you are. That’s what’s going on inside of you. How do you explain that? And what stops you from feeling love?
You have blocked the flow of your Shakti (which is the "Universal Power" that underlies and sustains all existence - conceived as feminine in essence, Shakti refers to personified energy or power). And because you've blocked it it can't make it to the fourth chakra, the heart (chakras or 'The Tower of Life' are the various focal points used in a variety of meditation practices, which are part of the inner traditions of Hinduism and Buddhism). The energy can't make it up here to your heart where it feels like love. So how come if that's true that I blocked my energy flow so it can't freely go up to those levels, why is it that I need somebody or even think about meeting somebody? Let's say you meet somebody, and you feel love, because stuff that you blocked that you use to block your energy flow is very specific to you. You’ve had experiences in your life that were uncomfortable. Anywhere from uncomfortable, to very difficult, to traumatic. You had experiences in your life that were difficult to handle. What did you do with those experiences? You resisted them. You did not want to have that experience. It was uncomfortable to you inside because it was caustic and toxic and you didn't feel good and you didn't like it. So, what did you do? Well, you did what most people would do - you pushed it away. You said “Get away from me. I don’t want to feel this.” That is your blockage. That is why you don't feel love because you did that. I am not blaming you - don't feel guilty. You couldn’t handle the experience. It happened outside but then it came in and you have a psyche, and you have energy inside.
You may say this is all spiritual poppycock. But when you examine the chakra system closely you can see that it mirrors 'Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs'. I am a true believer in integrating Eastern and Western methods for having clarity around how life works and for optimal wellbeing, whether it be psychological, emotional, intellectual, physical, or spiritual. These two metaphors, the chakras and Maslow's work, and meditating on them, is the path to inner transformation, wellbeing, and Enlightenment. It shows prejudice if you favour Western concepts over Eastern concepts when actually they are metaphors for exactly the same thing. A metaphor uses an image, story or tangible thing to represent an intangible quality or idea. So, a metaphor helps you to visualise something that cannot be imagined: Truth and Universal consciousness cannot be imagined. This is why these systems use metaphors that are all ways of attempting to describe the same Universal Truth that cannot be put into words. When the metaphors are received by an awakened soul they are felt as joy, love, peace, and serenity. Metaphors have a way of holding the most Truth in the least space. 'Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs' was described by in 1943 by Abraham Maslow, the American psychologist. It is a theory of psychological health predicated on fulfilling innate human needs, motivation, choices and action, culminating in self-actualisation or Enlightenment. It has essentially remained unchanged. The various Maslow Hierarchy levels are almost identical to the seven chakras of Eastern philosophy, also known as the 'Tower of Life' (see below). Interestingly, most European and American scholars in psychology and the general populace in 1943 had never heard of the word chakra, let alone understood its meaning. Maslow's theory states that five categories of human needs dictate an individual's behaviour. Those needs are in ascending order: Physiological needs; safety needs; love and belonging needs; esteem needs; and self-actualisation needs. So, the third level in Maslow's pyramid is love (friendship, family, intimacy, and human connection). In the chakra system, as you progress through the levels, each successive level represents a more expanded way of awareness of BEing: A guide to who you are right now. The original meaning of the Sanskrit word chakra is "wheel" and refers to the chariot wheels of the rulers, called cakravartins. The term is defined as a spinning disk or wheel of energy that runs along the spine. In between these wheels are energy channels, which allow the energy to flow from one place to another. The health of one's chakras is directly connected to the physical, mental, and emotional well-being of a person. Blocks in the energy flow must be released through feeling the associated emotions and learning the lessons that they are teaching us.
A couple of decades ago, it was believed that the seven chakras related only to spiritual development. However, recent scientific studies have proven the opposite, uncovering several regulatory chakras in the human body that are deeply related to human psychology, well-being, emotional peace, and joy. The field of neuropsychology, which studies the brain and the connected nervous system, is increasingly recognising the role chakras have in human psychology. The East is meeting the West. In Buddhism, there are four primary chakras. In many forms of Hinduism, there are seven. These seven chakras are believed to be connected via nadi, or energy channels. The concept of chakras ties into the early Hindu concepts of a physical body and a 'subtle' body, which is spiritual in nature. While the physical body consists of mass and is visible, the subtle body, which includes the mind and emotions, consists of energy and is invisible. Over time, the concept of chakras evolved, influencing various Hindu and Buddhist traditions and healing therapies. They belong to a set of beliefs known collectively as Tantra. In this system, spiritual or psychic energy from the subtle body influences the physical body and vice versa. This means that the status of a person’s chakras can shape their overall health and well-being. The concept of chakras has influenced many holistic practices worldwide, including yoga and some modern therapies, such as sound baths.
Some Western scholars believe that the chakra system began in India between 1500 BC and 500 BC, when the earliest yoga texts, the Vedas, were written. However, most of the Indian scholars believe that the origin of the chakra system is much older than that. The chakras, as psychic centres of consciousness, are first mentioned in the Yoga Upanishads (600 B.C.) and later in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali (200 B.C.). The original sages passed down the knowledge of the chakra system through an oral tradition, much before the Aryan (Indo-European) people entered into India. Hence, to trace the origin of the chakra system, we have to discover the source of the oral tradition of the chakra system beyond the available ancient texts. In the oral tradition, the transmission of knowledge was from teacher to the student, through presence, speech, stories, prose, and verses, as metaphors.
Chakras came to the West via a translation by the Englishman, Arthur Avalon (a pseudonym for Sir John George Woodroffe, an Orientalist who's extensive and complex published works on the Tantras, and other Hindu traditions, stimulated a wide-ranging interest in Hindu philosophy and yoga), in his book, "The Serpent Power" published in 1919,
Vedas are considered as the philosophy of the Indian system and chakras are considered as the science of the inner body. According to the chakra philosophy, the whole Universe is perceived as being created, penetrated, and sustained by two fundamental forces, which are permanently in a perfect, indestructible union. This principle of polarity is the foundation stone of the chakra system. Biologically it represents the masculine and the feminine poles.
In chakra philosophy, these forces or Universal aspects are called Shiva and Shakti. Shakti is the personification of the Universe, and her activity is to love, while Shiva shares the state of supreme consciousness.
The chakras and neurobiology: The chakras balance two opposing forces: The balance between chakra excitation and chakra inhibition is crucial to healthy cognition and behaviour. Glutamate and GABA are the two opposing neurotransmitters. Whereas a brain dominated by glutamate would only be capable of exciting itself in repeated bursts of activity, conversely, a brain governed by GABA would only be capable of quiet and soft activities, with little synchronisation necessary for meaningful communication between brain areas. Healthy brain activity thrives in the middle of these two extremes, where a balance between excitation and inhibition generates complex patterns of nervous system activity.
The heart chakra: This is the fourth chakra and is the location of the open heart: The ego (the place from which most people live) is no longer the centre. It is the core of your deep bonds with other people, your sense of caring and compassion, your feelings of Self-love, and unconditional real love towards others, unity, generosity, kindness, trust, service, and respect. When you open your heart, you can receive love, compassion, and are more flexible and open to change. Maslow refers to this level as the “Love & Belonging Needs." Without relationships and human interactions, a person can feel isolated, angry, mistrustful, jealous, depressed, or lonely, while an abundance of love, community, and social interaction can sustain people through difficult times.
The heart chakra is the bridge between the lowest three chakras of matter or ego (see above) and the highest three chakras that are related to spirit or the highest Self, the soul (see below). The lowest three levels are not interested in the higher levels. That is the challenge of any 'Hero's Journey': How to become aware that you are not aware! Clearing the lowest three floors and dealing with the issues there strengthens the ego. On the fourth floor, the realm of the open heart, you first make contact with your soul (higher Self). You cannot develop the upper branches until your roots are grounded and run deep. There is no shortcut to blossoming in the spiritual journey. The Tower must have a strong foundation or it will crumble. You have to clean up the basement before you move into the penthouse with the helipad. The upper floors should not concern you in the early phases of the recovery of your true Self. This is the danger of the ego. Let go of what you can't control.
'The great leap' is a leap of Faith. It is the most wonderful, yet difficult and painful leap that any human being can make in their life, but also the most worthwhile: This is a leap up and out of the personal concerns of the lower three levels and into the heart. Once you get to the heart chakra the rest is an elevator ride skywards. All our external goals (which are the only ones that our dysfunctional society celebrates and encourages, which lead to dramas and the crumbling of our Tower) that reflect the ubiquitous human quest for external validation, hold us back from ascending all seven levels. It may be possible for some to take the leap in this lifetime, but not all, depending on openness, honesty, commitment, and willingness.
As you ascend through the levels you get a different perspective on the world: Gradually evolving from a lens of fear to one of love. At this fourth level we see openness, honesty, and love in service of one another.
You will be drawn down to the lowest three levels repeatedly until those lower issues, that must be brought into the light, have been dealt with and cleared, and the lessons learned.
Only once you have done this, can accept what is, rather than clinging to dream-like illusions, and let go will angelic energies draw you upwards to return to your true home: Your sacred Hero's Journey; your soul's purpose.
Chakras and health: Depending on the philosophical and spiritual orientation of the practitioner, a person may promote healthier chakra energy with a range of chakra-based therapies, such as:
Yoga, including the use of specific yoga positions to promote energy flow. Yoga has proven benefit in recovering from trauma and is recommended as one of the two main treatment modalities recommended by the landmark book 'The Body Keeps The Score' by trauma expert Bessel van Der Kolk. Yoga involves a combination of movement and mindful breathing. It helps to calm a dysregulated nervous system. I practice yoga five times per week
Meditation to visualise unblocking the chakras. Meditation has proven benefits (in many scientific studies) in allowing the whole brain to function in concert. I believe that it should be a daily practice. I meditate twice every day. Meditation is often a part of chakra unblocking. Meditation reduces stress, eases anxiety and depression, lowers your blood pressure, gives you mental clarity (through reducing the negative inner chatter) and access to your intuitive wisdom in the stillness of silence.
From the perspective of Western medicine, chakra-based therapies may be popular for several reasons. For example, they may support relaxation and promote a sense of wellbeing. A sense of spiritual wellbeing may also impact mental or physical health. For example, a 2019 study found that older Taiwanese adults who reported spiritual wellbeing had lower scores for depression and higher scores for perceived good health. The participants reported practicing exercise and relaxation techniques to improve their spiritual wellbeing. Both of these also have benefits for health.
With our emotions, we want to move energy up to liberate ourselves. The tendency amongst us all (especially amongst the British!) is to shove it all down and swallow our emotions along with our pride. They become lodged in our lower chakras, heavy weights that make us feel stuck. To release them, we need to first recognise that they are there, feel them, and allow them to make us uncomfortable. Only in our willingness to see what we’ve hidden can we unearth and release. Working with or mastering these chakras is part of a quest for spiritual Enlightenment in Hinduism.
The following diagram shows how these two metaphors are essentially just two ways of describing the Truth about life:
Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs compared with the seven chakras by Diane Roberts Stoler, a neuropsychologist and trauma therapist
The similarity between the two systems is very obvious. We will never know if Maslow knew about chakra philosophy and translated it into a Western style, or whether the Universe somehow presented this guide to Self-development, Self-realisation, and Self-actualisation to both cultures.
Maslow combined the final two chakras into his last level, the need for Self-actualisation. It is the highest level of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Achieving personal growth and development throughout your life allows for Self-mastery, the desire to help others, and a sense of the meaning of life. Once you are Self-actualised, you’ve met your full potential as an individual.
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When the experience came in, it affected your emotions, it affected your thoughts - not in a good way. And you didn't want to deal with that and so you pushed it away. Doing this causes depression, repression, denial, and addiction: I call it ‘resistance’ as a general term that says it didn't make it through you. I'd like to point out some of you have had experiences rarely that made it all the way through you. You turn the corner when you're in a good mood and the sun was setting, and it was so gorgeous. And you felt something that you usually do not feel. You tried to tell somebody about it. And you use these words “I felt like it touched the core of my BEing. I felt like I was in the presence of God. It washed over me and it was just so beautiful." So, Nature can do that. A very close intimate moment can do that. Where you are melted into it. Not everyone can have these experiences, but you can. It came in and you didn't block it. It was so beautiful it took you into it. It wasn't you controlling it. It wasn't you accepting it. It wasn't you doing anything. A lot of us over intellectualise, often as a protection mechanism, and so we don't let that happen. We don't open our hearts. You need to drop out of your mind and into your heart. Many people are too scared or feel too vulnerable to allow this to happen, to let go at that level, because then you feel like you are not in control. And most people are terrified of not being in control. Most people want to always remain in control. But the problem is that being obsessed with being in control all the time keeps you in a prison cage of anxiety with no joy, peace, or love. That's what it means to let an outside experience come in and there be no resistance. Say that it comes all the way through, then where does it go? It merges into your seat of consciousness. That's what it's meant to do. It comes in, feeds you spiritually and passes through. It reaches the very depths of your BEing. It's a beautiful experience. But for most people it's very rare. Why? Because we resist. Because we are scared and want to be in control. We're not comfortable letting things touch us all the way back in there. Most people stop it. That’s why you don’t feel love inside. That's why you seek all forms of imitation love including power, money, external validation, and substance and behavioural addictions. What if it's an uncomfortable experience? You definitely resist it and push it away, but that was called psychological suppression, denial, or repression by Sigmund Freud. In yoga we call it resistance. You resisted the flow of the energy. Not only did it not get into the depths of your BEing, but it didn't even get past stage one. You say “I don't want to feel it. I don't want to let it happen.” For you to want experiences not to have happened, they have had to have already happened. The key here is acceptance, not resistance. If you resist these experiences that's when you create a blockage in your energy flow. You blocked the energy that came in from passing through. Where does it go? It gets stored inside. The problem is that emotional responses that get buried always end up resurfacing, often in unhealthy ways. It's like trying to keep a ball underwater - it will never stay there forever. How rational is it to take these situations that you disliked the most to store them inside of you for the rest of your life? That doesn't sound very healthy or spiritually evolved. And guess what, it's not. These are not just psychological blockages. It's not something that psychology deals with. Freud talked about your formative years: That's when you formed most of your blockages. You are trying to build something in there that's safe and therefore you push all this stuff away. That's when you formed your self concept, the ego. You form the mental and emotional patterns that define you. It's called your personality. There is no such thing as a good personality. Why? Because it's fake. It's a mask. It's something you made-up based on your past experiences. You say “This is what I like so I'll try to be like that, this is what I didn't like so I'll try not to be like that.” It's also called your ego, which Carl Jung described as a false construct that we form in the first half of our lives until we wake up mentally and spiritually. Every good experience you had you want it to happen again. When you meet someone else with a similar blockage you tend to like this person because it hits you just right inside. But it's not because of the person, it's because of you and how you stored your blockages. You get a temporary release in the blockage of your energy flow and that feels good. But it's really not healthy. For example perhaps your parents and their parents got divorced and the closeness you feel because of this manifests insides as a small flow of energy, which feels good. You resonate with them. But it's not romantic - it's to do with energy flow. But, it doesn't ever turn out well or like you think it's going to. It can't. That was then you shared one experience that you had in your life. You've had a tonne more. And they've had a tonne more. But they are different sets of experience. And you just want to tie in to that one experience of having divorced parents and you feel like you identify completely with that other person. But you are just like ships passing in the night - it's temporary. It felt great when it passed but it's hell the rest of the time. This is why relationships can be so hard. What you are calling a relationship, is simply a relationship with your Self. You think that person is like you, but they are not at all like you. They have had totally different experiences their entire life apart from this one experience. They can't possibly be like you.
Psychology says that man is the sum of his learned experiences. It's not true. You are the consciousness watching the psyche and heart. You're programmed by past experiences. You like what happened before - that made you feel good. You dislike what happened before that made you feel bad. And you devote your entire life to that: Running towards past experiences that you liked, and running away from past experiences that you didn't like. You did not choose what you liked and disliked. They were experiences that you had that left impressions on you. And now you are trying to recreate the ones you liked and stay away from the ones you didn't like. That goes for people, places, and things. You can start to catch on that your consciousness is not the sum of your learned experiences, rather, consciousness is awareness. Your consciousness (the real you, your Higher Power) is watching the psyche, the ego, that whole pattern in there, those mental and emotional patterns that you built based upon protecting yourself, clinging (a Buddhist term for holding onto experiences, thoughts, and emotions), holding on - you took different experiences and made up a ‘you’. This is simply the ego.
Basically, the reason you feel love when you meet somebody, that matches that some of the rubbish inside you, is called ‘opening’. When you meet someone with one or two similar blockages to you it causes a small temporary release of the blockage and a small energy flow, which you interpret as feeling good. This is not real love. You are just basking in your small amounts of shared psychological pathology. You are in a small part releasing a blockage temporarily. That is how therapy works. You are telling the therapist things you have never told anyone else or and that makes you feel a little bit better. You temporarily released a blockage. That’s all. It’s not love.
But let's go higher with these concepts. You are a very evolved BEing, you just may not know it yet. You are accepting crumbs of imitation love rather than enjoying a full banquet of real love. In the above scenarios, you feel like you love the other person and you may say “I love you”. What you actually mean is that “I love this flow of energy that is flowing inside me”. What is actually happening is that you love the experience of being open temporarily and you love the flow of energy. But then you feel bad as very soon afterwards you close the flow of the energy. This is when you start blaming people and resenting them. But that's your fault, not theirs. The flow of energy stops as soon as they do something that you don't like. That's incredibly selfish on your part. When you release the blockages temporarily for whatever reason then you feel an energy flow which you call ‘love’.
What about love for things? Can you feel love for music? Can you love an animal? Can you love a car? Can you love a painting? You see people in art galleries sitting on the seats staring at a painting for long periods of time or people in bliss listening to music. If any of these things can open you temporarily then you may feel a flow of energy which you interpret as ‘love’. It may feel like ecstasy, but this is no longer lasting than a pill. You cannot continue to live your life like that.
What if you could be open and feel love inside you all of the time? What is love? It is the Shakti flowing through your heart. Rather than asking “How do I make it happen”. Ask “Why isn't it happening?” It isn't happening because you have blocked yourself. For example, music that opens one person may close another.
Now you're starting to understand what's really going on rather than being on the surface of things, because it doesn't last does it? That's why you end up going from one relationship to another and being addicted to alcohol or drugs. Why do people block the flow of energy? Because they can't handle the flow of energy that is happening to them. So, you pushed it down there. You have Samskaras (these are mental impressions, recollections, or psychological imprints that colour one's thoughts and actions) in yoga: These are packages of experience that you have pushed down into your subconscious. Can positive experiences screw you up? Yes. Why, if they're positive? Because you want them to happen again. And so you become obsessed with controlling the other person, event, place, or thing. This is synonymous with misery. I have had interactions with other people in the past where the other person temporarily feels what they think is ‘love’ but then they want to control you and keep you restrained and therefore when the temporary experience passes they hate you deeply and try to hurt you. It's as though they have taken an aspirin for their pre-existing emotional pain and when the aspirin wears off they blame you for the pain that they had before they met you. This is all their fault not yours. They are obsessed with the experience being repeated exactly as it happened last time. You then go chasing rainbows and unicorns and even the same experience eventually doesn't feel the same. Of course it doesn't have the same impact. It was new. Now you're waiting for it to feel the same again. A bit like you can never have the same experience more than once when visiting a restaurant. You want something that you liked to happen again and have exactly the same effect on you. But, this is simply not how the world works. That's why positive experiences can also be a problem: As you can never recreate them exactly. You cling to the positive experiences. Then you totally mess up your life by wanting it to happen again and it never will.
You will come to realise that this is all about the Shakti flow. This isn't about the restaurant, or the holiday, or the relationship: This is about opening. Yogis are able to go back to a restaurant and even if everything is different they love the difference. Every moment is new. Every moment opens them up. With great spiritual masters everything touches the core of their BEing. Can you imagine living in that state? Jesus was like that. This is where a fully Enlightened being lives all the time: Because they are open.
Pushing things away that you don't like and trying to get things that you do like is called struggling and causes all suffering and interpersonal conflict. You are struggling to make it happen again or to make it not happen again and you're judging everything and everyone. That is the recipe for a miserable existence. Most people live like that, and I have certainly met my share. What if you feel that a negative thing might happen?: That’s called worrying. That's the source of anxiety and fear. It didn't happen but you feel that it might, so you end up worrying over nothing. This is how almost everyone lives. It may as well have happened. Because you are already messed up in your head. So basically, those are your blockages. This is what it's all about.
Let's talk about love again. You have blocked your heart, because you are afraid to open it due to your formative experiences. You blocked this flow of energy. Then you end up with preferences for what you like and don't like and if the outside world doesn't match those preferences then you are miserable. It's all based on your blockages. It's not true that you have preferences. You are programmed and conditioned from your past experiences, and you got lost in that. You think you'll only be happy if this or that happens and unhappy if this or that happens. But this is simply your false self, your personality, your ego. What you have done by making everything into something that you like or don't like is that you are limiting your ability to feel joy and love. That's why people have ridiculous lawsuits against others. Because they simply don't understand any of this. That's why there are so many solicitors around! And that's why the divorce rates are so high with half of the married population going through it at some point.
How many things are going on at this moment? An infinite number: How many do you want to happen – maybe four! How many people do you hope love you? One? But, there are billions of people on this planet! That's because you blocked yourself and you want exactly the same things to happen again or not happen again. And now you are out there struggling with life trying to make it be exactly what you're inside blockages say would make you OK and not be open. That is no way to live. I invite you not to live that way. Stop judging. Stop blaming other people. Stop your resentments. Understand how this all works. And for goodness sake drop your ridiculous interpersonal conflict and lawsuits. You are only hurting yourself. There's no happiness in that, only struggle. How often is the world the way you exactly want it to be as a result of your blockages? Never! It's time to evolve and mature spiritually and psychologically. The weather bothers you, the car in front of you bothers you, every event that happens or doesn't happen bothers you, all the people in your life bother you, and the people that you claim to love bother you. Life will never be exactly the way you want. Deep down you know that the world is never going to be the way you want, so you struggle. What does the Bible say in Genesis 3:19? ” You fell from the garden, You will eat bread by the sweat of your brow until you return to the ground, since you were taken from it.” This is why every minute and every second you are struggling and manipulating. This is why people want nothing to do with those kinds of people. Sadly they are in a majority and I have certainly met my fair share.
This is about love. It's not about how to find love. It's about why you don't feel love. Which is a much deeper thing. If you get rid of why you don't feel love, then love is wonderful. And it's a real love, not a transactional or conditional love. And you don't need anyone, anything, or any specific event to feel it. You're capable of feeling love all the time. This is why Christ said in Matthew 5:43-45 “You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbour and hate your enemy. But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven.'” Love them to death! This is the only path to true love and joy. How come Christ could say that? Because he wasn't blocked! This is not something you are supposed to do. It is something that you are capable of feeling. Love is a natural state if you are not blocked. Life is all about whether you are blocked. How many blockages do you have? How open are you? How many things open you? The less blocked you are the more things open you. There are some people, as they walk through woods, who are just on their smart phone: There are others who see the wonder and beauty of Nature and feel love. Even the singing of the birds has this effect or watching the spattering of sunlight on the grounds through the trees. Their heart just bursts open. For them everything does it. Everything makes them melt. Because they are open. So, love is simply about being open. It's not about finding something that can open you. You can find something that opens you but watch as it closes. Why don't you stay open at work? This is why people don't like their jobs.
You can start to see why it is a mess inside of you. That's why you don't feel love all the time. And so love is simply about getting rid of the blockages. If you get rid of the blockages and don't put any more in - wait to see what happens - you will feel love all the time. You will start feeling a natural spontaneous flow of love and life itself makes you feel love. Earth is God's idea of Disney World. We're on such a beautiful planet. We have won the lottery. And yet we are miserable.
You programmed your likes and dislikes by not handling the experiences of your life. You need to learn to let go. That's how you find love. You find love by letting go of yourself. Not by finding something that matches your personal, false self. You are limiting it. How do you let go of yourself? Love is a real thing. There is some inner work that you have to do if you want to feel unconditional real love all the time. You can wake up in the morning and feel the miracle of life and this will last all day, every day. This is how you have fun. You will never have fun if you want things to be exactly the way you want them to be. The minute you stop having to have things the way that you want them exactly you will open up and start to feel the energy flow of love. You will feel a limitless energy inside of you. You will feel like you're being lifted rather than driven. You will swap misery for love and joy. You will stop struggling. Because if you are open, you will not let stuff come up that you didn't let come up before and this will release all your blockages and allow your inner energy flow. And so, you learn to let it go. You learn to cleanse. You are opening up. How do you do that? You don't want to be closed and then struggle to find things outside of yourself that will make you open unconditionally. That is not a very high life. It's very stressful, full of struggle, and absolutely miserable. This is conditional, wearisome, and transactional, and someone else is in charge of your heart.
If you want it to be nice in there then make it nice in there with your inner work and by letting go. The work involves saying “Do I close when something happens?” Don’t answer, just observe if you are closing. Just notice how much you close, how conditional it is, and how everything closes it. For example, thinking that the sun is too hot today. Or the driver in front of you made a manoeuvre that you didn't like. The traffic. Someone who you conditionally love and are obsessed with not doing the things you want them to do. You will find that you close over everything. You protect yourself. You close. You don't like it. Every time you close you're saying goodbye love. You are blocking yourself. You think these things don't matter. But they are the basis of your misery. You just took the weather and didn't like it that day and so you're saying that you're trading off love for the weather, which is ridiculous. Enjoy the beauty of the sun and realise that it's a star that is 93,000,000 miles away which gives us all our natural light and heat and sunsets. You can get high on the sun. You can feel love from the sun. You can feel love from everything once you stop closing. This is how you work with yourself. This is how you change your entire attitude. This is how you learn not to put more blockages in there and to let the blockages go. Yes it is positive thinking. It is surrender and openness. It is devotion to the Universe. It doesn't matter what you called it. It's your pathway to inner love. Again, you don't need anyone else for this. But instead, you are blocking yourself and putting more blockages in there. And so, you learn to work with yourself. Don't just sit there and be negative. Don't sit there and store more stuff in there. Raise yourself. You are in there and you have the right to raise yourself.
Let's say someone says something that you don't like. You have a few choices: You can say that you don't like them; or you can accept that people are different; or you can love the feeling that you get to cleanse even when someone doesn't like you. I know where I am living. Take every single thing that happens to you and use it to get rid of the rubbish that you stored in there. Situations will unfold in your life. Honour them. Respect them. Do your best. Stop hating, blaming, and manipulating. You are only making yourself miserable. Just say thank you, thank you, thank you.
You have made a mess of yourself because you couldn't handle situations. Spiritual growth is saying “I can handle this.” If someone said something that is not nice, you simply don't care. There is no point in being miserable just because someone else is having a bad day. You are able to handle other people when they have issues. Don't let them bring you down. Next time you see the person you don't even have to say “Why did you say that to me?” As you progress it won't even dawn on you to do that. It went through you. Now you have rediscovered that you are a very great BEing. Do you want to be like that? Not only is it nice for you it is nice for everyone that you come into contact with. What if you just love being alive? You love the experiences you are having regardless of whether they are positive or negative. They don't feel bad. They are over. That's what “Be here, now” means. It means to be totally present and to let go. If you just let the experience make it through you without resistance or clinging to it it's just one experience in life. Worship the moment and don't suppress it. Don’t hold onto it. Practise doing that. This is something you do every single minute of your life. This is your spiritual path. If you do this and you let go you will be meditating spontaneously all of the day. The Shakti just pulls through your BEing.
This is what we can work on together. This is what I want for you. This will change your life more than anything that has ever been taught spiritually. I don't want you to get high, I want you to be high, all the time, on your inner love. You can feel ecstasy, love, and bliss incessantly. But you can't do that if it's all based on your blockages: It's going to be conditional; conditional wellbeing, which is not wellbeing at all! I want it to be present all the time for you. The only way that is happening is if you let go of this stuff that you're clinging to. Your natural state is bliss. But you're doing this egocentric personality thing where all the rubbish is stored inside of you and your energy flow is blocked and you're incapable of feeling love.
If you do the work, you will live untethered. So, you start by saying “I am going to handle today.” When you wake up in the morning make that is the first thing that you say to yourself. You are going to handle the situations that happened today. “I'm going to let them come in and respect and honour them. I will catch myself trying to push these experiences down. I will let go.” Letting go is inner work. Breathe, relax, and release. Don't hold it inside. You're not going to be able to do that. At night, before you go to bed, ask yourself “Is there anything that I have stored in here from today?” Is there something that happened or something that someone said which you don't want to carry and you can let it go? Use it as an opportunity to be positive about it. It doesn't matter what it is. You may not want it inside you so let it go. As you continue to do this you will not wake up the same person the next day and each day gets better and better. You're letting go of everything and you're not storing anything anymore. You will find that things will happen that used to bother you that no longer disturb you and don't block your flow of energy and state of love. It went through you. You're growing. That’s spirituality: That is a big deal that you can handle something that you couldn't handle before. You do this today and let go and keep doing it the next day and the day after, what will happen is if you don't put anymore today or tomorrow, stuff is going to start coming up. If you don't stuff rubbish down there, then stuff will start coming out from before that you have previously stored. It's like a stack of experiences with the most recent ones coming up first, because you didn't put stuff on top of it. And you want it to happen and come back up. It will feel yucky as it comes back up, but that is fine - it's just that you stored a lot of yucky rubbish. Let it go now. Of course you can handle your experiences of childhood now as they're not going to happen again and you are now an assertive adult. You don't have to worry about it. Why are you keeping it in there? Because it hurts when it comes back up. But you can handle it now. Always, relax, and release. As you stored it with pain it will feel painful but you welcome it as you know that you're clearing your blockages to love. This is called soul birth. You want to go through this, believe me. And the more willing you are to go through it you get used to it and you will be able to cleanse it. You have a choice of keeping it down there and it's screwing up your entire life or go through what it's like to let it go even if it's painful. Do you have to find out what it is that put it down there and figure it all out? You can - that's psychology, but you don't have to. What you have to do when it comes up is to let it go. If you could let it go and you could let the discomfort come through you it doesn't matter what you allowed in there - it's gone. And not only will that be gone but all the other things that were that level of discomfort too. And you will see those just start going through and it won't bother you: It's nothing. If you learn to understand these situations that are uncomfortable both on a daily basis and on a long term basis you're going to start feeling the flow of Shakti energy. It will come up inside of you for so it's natural. If you're open and release the Shakti will come up. In fact, she's pushing. To purify the rubbish from your heart. Your spiritual body has a cleansing system. The heart is beautiful, and it doesn't want all that junk on top of it - if you let the Shakti push up and welcome her. Your job is to relax and release and let her do her job. It really is a thing. It's a divine spirit inside of you. It's your Higher Power's energy. You could be feeling this feeling all the time, but you blocked it. And now Shakti wants out - she wants to push up. Welcome her. Now we're going really deep about how to do this. You will feel beautiful love. As you get rid of the blockages you will feel it pop to the other side. I did a meditation on this once and I literally felt and heard a pop in my energy flow in my chest and my heart became so full of love. This is devotional divine love energy.
The special path is beautiful and the more you grow the more you let go. Eventually get to the point where that’s what your life is. Now you have let go of your personal ego life and it's all about the flow of energy and love. You will feel ecstasy as the core of your BEing is melting with love and that you are in the presence of the divine. That's what happens when you let go of the blockages. The ego dissolves.
Namaste.
Olly
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I am delighted and enchanted to meet you. I coach men with 'Deep Coaching', 'Supercoaching', and Transformative Life Coaching (TLC). Thank you for reading this far. I very much look forward to connecting with the highest version of you, to seeing your highest possibility, and to our conversations. Please do contact me via my email for a free connection call and a free experience of coaching on Zoom or in person.
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