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Perfection is The Enemy of Progress

Updated: Mar 10

Perfection is not a destination, it’s a journey. And the journey is progress. Progress is the only way forward. Perfectionism is a dead end. Perfection is a myth. Progress is reality. Winston Churchill said that “Perfectionism is the enemy of progress.” The road to progress is paved with imperfection. Julia Cameron said that “Perfectionism is not a quest for the best. It is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves, the part that tells us that nothing we do will ever be good enough.”


Progress is the result of imperfect action. Embrace it and keep moving forward. Don’t let perfectionism hold you back. Progress is the key to success. Don’t get hung up on perfection. Perfection is not the goal. Progress is.


Embrace progress over perfection, and you’ll achieve more than you ever thought possible. Perfectionism is a trap. It doesn't exist. Progress over perfection is the key to joy, abundance, peace, and fulfilment. What is most important in successful living is personal growth, continuous improvement, and the journey itself. The journey is an inner one who’s destination is not perfection; it’s your personal transformation. Don’t let perfectionism paralyse you. Embrace progress and take action. Progress allows you to seize opportunities, push past obstacles, and make meaningful progress in both personal and professional endeavours.

 

Perfection is by definition unattainable. Salvador Dali wrote “Have no fear of perfection-you'll never reach it.”


Embracing progress over perfection is a transformative mindset that propels us forward, pushing obstacles out of the way and unlocking our true potential. Mark Cuban wrote “Perfection is the enemy of success.” Imperfections are part of the journey, and it’s through them that we grow, learn, and evolve. It’s time to shift our mindset and embrace progress, celebrating every step forward, no matter how small. Let these words inspire you to focus on improvement, resilience, and the beauty of imperfection. Henry James wrote “Excellence does not require perfection.” Don’t wait in limbo for perfection to occur; instead take action. Embrace progress and keep moving forwards.


Winston Churchill said that “Perfectionism is the enemy of progress.”


Progress, not perfection, is the key to true success in life. Thomas Edison famously wrote "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.” Edison was an American inventor and businessman. He developed many devices in fields such as electric power generation, mass communication, sound recording, and motion pictures. These inventions, which include the phonograph, the motion picture camera, and early versions of the electric light bulb, have had a widespread impact on the modern industrialised world. He was one of the first inventors to apply the principles of organised science and teamwork to the process of invention, working with many researchers and employees. He established the first industrial research laboratory. It was through his advocation of teamwork, and his ability to accept failure on the road to success, in other words progress, not perfection, that allowed him to bring so many gifts to the world.


Edison is regarded as the most prolific inventor in American history. Joseph Henry, president of the National Academy of Sciences and one of the most renowned electrical scientists in the US, described Edison as "The most ingenious inventor in this country... or in any other". The Washington Post described Edison as a 'genius.' Historian Paul Israel has characterised Edison as a 'freethinker. Edison was heavily influenced by Thomas Paine's 'The Age of Reason'. Edison defended Paine's 'scientific deism', saying, "He has been called an atheist, but atheist he was not. Paine believed in a supreme intelligence, as representing the idea which other men often express by the name of deity.” He went on to say “There is no such denial, what you call God I call Nature, the Supreme intelligence that rules matter.” This is the domain of spirituality, not religion. He also stated, "I do not believe in the God of the theologians; but that there is a Supreme Intelligence I do not doubt." Nature and Universal consciousness are the fundamentals of a spiritual approach to life. So, Edison was the greatest inventor of all time, who believed in progress, not perfection, who did not frown upon failure on the road of progress. who had a spiritual approach to life. Thomas Edison was expelled from school for behaviour that today would label him as having Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), but his mother understood how to salvage his self-esteem and prepare him for a lifetime of success, through progress and not perfection.


Perfectionism comes from our sense of lack, not of abundance. This fear of not being good enough or of not having enough, and all your limiting beliefs, may be overcome by surrendering all your fears. Perfectionism is what drives people on with hustle, grit, and grind, and drives them on until they burnout and become mentally ill. The alternative is to follow a calling, where personal growth, progress, self-worth, self-love, success and abundance are the key words. With a calling you do not burn out and you have limitless energy and access to the Supreme Intelligence that Thomas Edison talked about.


Vince Lombardi said “Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence.” Edwin Bliss wrote “The pursuit of excellence is gratifying and healthy. The pursuit of perfection is frustrating, neurotic, and a terrible waste of time.” Do you know any perfectionists who are frustrating, neurotic, wasting their time and driven by a deep sense of lack and of not being loved or of being abandoned? I know that you do. They will fall.


No one wants to fail. As a business owner or entrepreneur, you’re making decisions all the time. When you have to make an important decision, do you find that you postpone it until you feel ‘perfectly’ ready? Do you spend too much time thinking about it? I find that it doesn’t actually help me to make perfect decisions; instead, it just slows my progress down. When I put a decision on hold for a long time, I’m preventing my business from moving forward. Did you know that most business owners believe that perfectionism sabotages their business success? 


Life gets overwhelming when we chase perfection, losing sight of what truly matters—progress. We need to prioritise growth and development over the unattainable pursuit of perfection. Imperfections are part of the journey, and it’s through them that we grow, learn, and evolve. It’s time to shift our mindset and embrace progress, celebrating every step forward. Let these words inspire you to focus on improvement, resilience, and the beauty of imperfection. The pursuit of progress is the pursuit of excellence. The pursuit of perfection is the pursuit of insanity.

 

Where does perfectionism come from? Most frequently, perfectionism results from a fear of lack of self-worth, rejection (not feeling loved or loveable), failure, or judgement. The more sensitive you are to criticism, the more hurt you may feel from the judgements of others, which takes time to recover from. Do not judge anyone, ever. That's the job of the Universal Intelligence, not you.


As someone with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) ADHD, I have many superpowers as a result of my ADHD including my ability to hyperfocus on a task. Around 10 percent of us have ADHD, many of us not being diagnosed. We are all on a spectrum of neurodivergance. One of the drawbacks of ADHD is that many of us suffer from Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) which makes criticism feel like a personal attack. No-one should criticise anyone else. Who are you to judge? Jesus said in Matthew 7:3-5. “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?



Positives of ADHD (I pulled many of these from “The Drummer and the Great Mountain” written by Michael Joseph Ferguson) include:

·       Creativity

·       Persistence

·       Imagination / Spontaneity

·       Often seeing the world from a different angle (thinking differently)

·       Extremely intuitive

·       Wildly passionate: Low tolerance for mediocrity

·       Thinks big / dreams big

·       Boundless energy and impulsivity and risk-taking (T. S. Eliot wrote "Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go)

·       Hard workers

·       Skillful at overcoming obstacles by finding an innovative solution

·       Feel most “alive” when exploring new things

·       Love people and humanity but are often seen as rebels

·       Go against the grain, dare to dream, and because of wild amounts of passion and youthful tendencies and personality traits are easily labelled as out of the ordinary. Who wants to be ordinary anyway?

 

Despite the name of our disorder, our ADHD brains have absolutely no problem focussing on things that interest us. This is the key detail. The key to unlocking our success. If our focus is channelled correctly, we can excel in the areas that interest us the most. We can become experts in our field. We just need to find our niche. And do what we love. I channel my hyperfocus into my coaching, my writing, learning, and immersing myself in research, which is something I love to do. Sharing my knowledge feels productive, keeps my brain stimulated and helps me reach my goals. When my hyperfocus is channelled on something productive, that I love, I am winning.


Why am I being so open and vulnerable with you? Because taking off our masks is the only way to live, be successful, to find peace and joy, and to love.


Albert Camus said that “I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger - something better, pushing right back.” My brain is wired differently to someone who is neurotypical (if there is such a thing). And that is something for me to celebrate. It’s the source of my hyperfocus, my determination, my persistence, my creativity, and my own invincible summer: Summer symbolises the enduring strength within all of us who are neurodiverse: Seasonal superheroes. I am a generator: I have so much life energy, and I am here to serve you.


You see I am self-aware now, as a result of my journey, and know my way through the chaos and the storms of life. “Blessed are the hearts that can bend; they shall never be broken,” Camus said. Even when we are faced with overwhelming chaos, we can find a sanctuary of tranquillity within ourselves. A refusal to be swept away by the storms of life changes your approach to life. Your reservoir of love, hope, and perseverance can triumph over any adversity.


There is a long list of entrepreneurs, innovators, creatives, sporting legends, adventurers, inventors, scientists, and yes even Presidents (Donald Trump) who have or have been thought to have had ADHD including, in no particular order, Socrates, Albert Einstein, Winston Churchill, Thomas Edison, Steven Hawking, Malcolm Forbes, Henry Ford, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Richard Branson, Ann Bancroft, Ted Turner, Christopher Columbus, Galileo, Isaac Newton, Alexander Graham Bell, Thomas Edison, Leonardo da Vinci, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Jim Carrey, Ryan Gosling, Walt Disney, Wilbur Wright, Elvis Presley, Beethoven, Virginia Woolf, George Bernard Shaw, Jules Verne, John Lennon, Simone Biles, Lisa Ling, Channing Tatum, Cara Delevingne, Emma Watson, Johnny Depp, Tom Cruise, Will Smith, Justin Timberlake, Loyle Carnel, Adam Levine, Pablo Picasso, Mary-Kate Olsen, Michael Phelps, Michael Jordan, John F. Kennedy, Benjamin Franklin, and Teddy Roosevelt, to name but a few. I am delighted to join their ranks. Perhaps you might have undiagnosed ADHD.


TV host and former Psychotherapist Thom Hartmann has a “Hunter / Farmer” theory in which he discusses how there’s potentially very strong evolutionary roots to ADHD. That those with lower amounts of dopamine were the “hunters” in our early days and since then have transitioned over to those more prone to be innovative. So, we are hunters for innovation.


Whether you have ADHD or not, and this is not an article about ADHD, we are all neurodiverse. Yet we can all benefit from refocussing our attention from perfection to progress if we want to truly succeed in life in terms of abundance, mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical wellbeing.


It is worth remembering that, as Matt Haig wrote in 'Reasons to Stay Alive' "There is no standard normal. Normal is subjective. There are seven billion versions of normal on this planet... Mental health problems don’t define who you are. They are something you experience. You walk in the rain and you feel the rain, but you are not the rain." We are all on a spectrum. Being human is characterised by neurodiversity: This is a framework for understanding human brain function and mental illness. It argues that diversity in human cognition is normal and that some conditions classified as mental disorders are differences that are not necessarily pathological.


At the end of the day: You are you. Don’t dwell on labels. Labels are dehumanising forms of judgement. Again, we are all on a spectrum, including you, and everyone else that you know, love, and meet, and only you know who you truly are. You need to find your Self deep inside and stop your fearful ego mind from constantly identifying with the negative self-talk and 'catastrophising', that is not actually thinking. You do this by becoming more mindful and through meditation: You do this by getting out of your mind, and into your heart. As LadyJennie Jerome Churchill, the mother of Sir Winston Churchill, wrote "All natures are in Nature." It's freeing to realise that we are all unique, worthy, human BEings. We are all blessed by having similarities (in that we all have the human condition) and differences, which should be celebrated. Perfectionism only leads to inauthenticity, reaffirmation of the false notion that we are not worthy, and self-sabotage.


The 12-step Big Book is the most concise guide to successful living that has ever been written. It provides a spiritual programme by which we may all live. It states in the chapter “How it Works” which is about how life really works states “Many of us exclaimed, ‘What an order! I can’t go through with it.’’ Do not be discouraged… We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow (progress) along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection… The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. On that basis we are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though our motives are good. Most people try to live by self-propulsion (hustle, grit, willpower, unhealthy determination, and grind). Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way. If his arrangements would only stay put, if only people would do as he wished, the show would be great. Everybody, including himself, would be pleased. Life would be wonderful. What usually happens? The show doesn’t come off very well. He begins to think life doesn’t treat him right. He decides to exert himself more. He becomes, on the next occasion, still more demanding or gracious, as the case may be. Still the play does not suit him. Admitting he may be somewhat at fault, he is sure that other people are more to blame. He becomes angry, indignant, self-pitying. What is his basic trouble? Is he not really a self-seeker even when trying to be kind? Is he not a victim of the delusion that he can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this world if he only manages well? Is it not evident to all the rest of the players that these are the things he wants? And do not his actions make each of them wish to retaliate, snatching all they can get out of the show? Is he not, even in his best moments, a producer of confusion rather than harmony?”


In the chapter “Acceptance Was The Answer” it states that “Shakespeare (who was a spiritual Master) said, “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.” He forgot to mention that I was the chief critic. I was always able to see the flaw in every person, every situation. And I was always glad to point it out, because I knew you wanted perfection, just as I did. A.A. and acceptance have taught me that there is a bit of good in the worst of us and a bit of bad in the best of us; that we are all children of God and we each have a right to be here. When I complain about me or about you, I am complaining about God’s handiwork. I am saying that know better than God.” Any person or institution that that claims to role of chief critic is failing to look at themselves and is using distraction to hide their own imperfections.



 

We all fail. We all make mistakes. If as a society we tell people that it’s not ok to fail, then people will give up even before they start. Success is falling nine times and getting up ten. Eric Johnson wrote “Be OK with getting it wrong. Just keep getting it wrong until you get it right.” Adam Osbourne wrote “The most valuable thing you can make is a mistake. You can’t learn anything from being perfect.”


We need compassion as a society. Perfection is the enemy of progress, not its driving force. Perfection is the domain of the ego – where we create a false self, a mask. No-one is perfect. No-one. Some people are just obsessed with hiding their flaws. I love Drake’s quote “I was born to make mistakes. Not fake perfection.” Richie Norton wrote “Perfectionism is a disease. Procrastination is a disease. Action is the cure.” Alfred Fidler said “Have the courage to be imperfect.” It takes courage, but the rewards are infinite. Fall down 9 times, get up 10. 

I can only speak for my profession, but I can speak for my profession as many of my clients are doctors. The concerns they have are all the same. The same goes with my other clients, who are lawyers, business professionals, actors, and many more. We all suffer from the human condition. The panacea is progress and compassion. Perfectionism is the poison. We are expected to be perfect, and then are thrown on the scrap heap when we suffer the pathological death-grip of perfectionism.


I know all the statistics on doctors and surgeons who are mentally ill. They can’t seek help or recovery for fear of being struck off by their regulatory body, which should take an infinitely more compassionate approach. The reason that they don’t is that they are pretending that doctors are infallible and cannot be patients, so they decapitate all those who are going through tough times and out their heads above the parapet. To the regulatory bodies I say “Be patient with the faults of others: They have to be patient with yours.” You have many faults as regulatory bodies: You are killing doctors through suicide; you have no compassion; and worst of all you have no idea how to help doctors to recover. For a regulatory body that is full of doctors, shame on you. You are far, far from perfect. A staggering 85% of doctors have experienced mental health issues. Forty one per cent of affected doctors did not discuss their issues with anyone, through fear of their regulatory body striking them off the medical register and a quarter (24%) felt that there is a stigma attached to mental health issues. Yet the institutions that are supposed to look after doctors are failing miserably. Their focus on infallibility and perfectionism is totally misjudged. But doctors are fighting back. How can an institution that totally fails in its remit of 'Caring for doctors caring for patients' judge doctors as failed? The archaic dinosaur institutions will topple. For they don't know how to care for doctors and they possess a guillotine instead of a medicine bag. They are either incapable of. change or don't want to change despite their leaders telling them to be more compassionate.



The pandemic of neurodiversity was made by Nature and is unconscious, at least until you do the inner work to make it conscious: The pandemic of judgement, however, is man-made, and conscious. This is actually good news though: We can do something about it. We can stop judging if we choose to. Who are we to judge anyway? Judging is the domain of the tabloid press, toxic tweets, and trolls. People, organisations, and institutions judge in others what they cannot forgive in themselves. Neville Goddard wrote "If a man looks upon any other man and estimates that man as less than himself, then he is stealing from the other. He is stealing the other’s birthright – that of equality."


Rumi wrote "Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there." As I understand it, Rumi was saying that as human beings we get connected with each other in the space that opens up when we let go of our ideas of good and bad, right and wrong. Toxicity and judgement therefore come from those who are disconnected with reality, themselves and each other. Their judgement comes from projection, which is when people project onto others what they can't face and deny in themselves. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. wrote "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that... Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness... There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies." We are all human beings: We are all different yet equally worthy, beautiful, and loveable souls. Because we all feel like we are drowning right now, which we are not and all is actually well, we all try to drown each other. It needn't be that way. The way out is through understanding, forgiveness, and compassion: For oneself and others. As Rumi wrote "If everything around seems dark, look again, you may be the light... If light is in your heart, you will find your way home." Healing the world involves us all walking each other home. “Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive” (Dalai Lama).


Everyone is struggling right now: Wellbeing is critical to every industry. As a doctor who has suffered from mental illness, I feel qualified to give my views on the pandemic that no-one is talking about: The pandemic of mental illness that is already upon us, like an invisible tsunami; as well as the pandemic of judgement. Do you feel like you are struggling right now? If we turn our back on these two tsunamis and pretend that they aren't happening then we will lose mothers and fathers, partners, sons and daughters. We may even not survive as a species. And we will certainly lose our souls.


The WHO states that “Mental health is critically important to everyone, everywhere. All over the world, mental health needs are high but responses are insufficient and inadequate.“ The Director General of the WHO stated that “Ultimately, there is no health without mental health… Mental health is a lot more than the absence of illness: it is an intrinsic part of our individual and collective health and wellbeing. We need to transform our attitudes, actions and approaches to promote and protect mental health, and to provide and care for those in need. We can and should do this by transforming the environments that influence our mental health and by developing community-based mental health services capable of achieving universal health coverage for mental health. As part of these efforts, we must intensify our collaborative action to integrate mental health into primary health care. Our vision is a world where mental health is valued, promoted and protected; where mental health conditions are prevented; where anyone can exercise their human rights and access affordable, quality mental health care; and where everyone can participate fully in society free from stigma and discrimination.” This is a vision that would bring an end to the pandemic of judgement.


This is a beautiful vision, but sadly we are very, very far from that goal in my experience. Elyn R Saks, a professor, lawyer, psychiatrist, and mental health advocate wrote in her autobiography ‘The Centre Cannot Hold: My Journey Through Madness’ that “Stigma against mental illness is a scourge with many faces, and the medical community wears a number of those faces.” I myself have also found that medical institutions are often totally lacking in understanding, awareness, and compassion when it comes to mental health. There are so many doctors in distress. If we don't look after them, who will look after us? The brilliant German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer wrote "Compassion is the basis of morality." Meister Eckhart, the German philosopher and scholar, wrote "You may call God love, you may call God goodness. But the best name for God is compassion." The Dalai Lama XIV says in 'The Art of Happiness' “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” The Dalai Lama XIV said “Compassion is the radicalism of our time.” A shift to compassion is required if we want to survive as a species. His Holiness wrote “The topic of compassion is not at all religious business; it is important to know it is human business, it is a question of human survival.” The world-renowned researcher Professor Brené Brown wrote "What we don't need in the midst of struggle is shame for being human." She continues that her academic research showed that the shaming culture we live in makes it harder than ever to show courage and be vulnerable – and somebody had to speak out. 'People are sick and tired of being afraid all the time.'" As Marianne Williamson said in her book 'Tears to Triumph: The Spiritual Journey From Suffering to Enlightenment' "Being human is not a disease." She continued, that the epidemic of depression that we are seeing is a "Collective cry for the healing of our hearts." Mahatma Gandhi said “The problem with the world is that humanity is not in its right mind.” We need therapy less than we need a collective healing of the institutions that 'govern' us. We are being bathed in toxicity and we are expected to cope. We are not coping.


At no point in my medical career did I have a mental health assessment, despite having been employed in over a dozen leading teaching hospitals in London and Cambridge. When I crossed professional boundaries due to mental illness that I was unaware of, I was treated utterly inhumanely, and the institutions that are meant to care for those caring for patients heaped shame and trauma on me, despite their awareness of my childhood trauma, my severe depression, my generalised anxiety disorder and my compulsivity, which was the result of my ADHD, which the General Medical Council's two psychiatrists failed miserably to diagnose through their ignorance of the condition.


Shame, trauma, and mental illness were the result of my dysfunctional childhood: How could anyone possibly think that giving a further dose of trauma and shame to someone who was mentally ill as a result of trauma would be a good or compassionate idea, or serve anyone? They also decapitated me rather than allowing me to participate fully free from stigma and discrimination, as recommended by the WHO. To have suffered childhood trauma and the unbearable pain of abandonment from one's own family and then to receive the same from one's profession after so many years of dedication to it is very challenging to bear. Doctors who are mentally ill (85% of all doctors) are terrified of seeking treatment as we know that the regulatory bodies are so antiquated and lack any compassion that they intend only to destroy us. After a three year wait, while I was suspended from practising medicine, I was cross-examined for seven hours, including speaking about my childhood trauma, which should not be done in a non-therapeutic setting, as anyone medically trained would know. It was nothing short of a horrific experience. I would never wish that trauma and horror on anyone. I am not sure how many people would survive it.


The psychiatrist from the regulatory body that assessed me had no training in my condition, and was very derogatory about the concept of personal transformation, showing a total lack of a modern psychiatric approach to mental wellbeing. I was declared medically fit to work by her but was beheaded by the regulatory body and the Royal College (the shameful Royal College of Surgeons of England) that I belonged to in any case. I was not given any support by them at any stage of my career or during the hearing. Fortunately, my own NHS psychiatrist was a much wiser, informed, up-to-date and caring professional, who understood that much of the recovery from mental illness is not just giving medication to numb the pain (one needs to feel emotions in order to grow, know the deepest Truths about life and what it is to be a human being and to recover): Recovery involves a journey of personal transformation to recover your true Self as stated by Carl Jung, the greatest pyschiatrist of all time. What saved my life was not psychiatry or psychotherapy, but it was having a guide who had a much more modern, all-encompassing view of how the world, life and people operate: An Enlightened Witness. As Baruch Spinoza wrote "The highest activity a human being can attain is learning for understanding, because to understand is to be free." When the regulatory bodies have a guillotine as their only tool, it is no wonder that they are decapitating professionals and destroying so many families. There is no tool on their belt labelled 'understanding' or 'compassion'. One has to suspect that either they lack understanding of mental illness, or that they are more afraid of the tabloid press and trolls than of doing the right thing by human beings who are mentally ill, in other words patients, who happen to be doctors. Is this really the kind of world that we want to live in? Plato said "No law or ordinance is mightier than understanding."


Publicly available data shows that two out of three surgeons in some surgical subspecialties have mental health conditions. But no-one, including the Royal College of Surgeons, is doing anything at all about it, out of fear for their own survival. What is the point of these institutions? Over one in five UK surgeons are alcoholics, with many more having other mental health issues. Surgeons have a six times higher suicide rate than the general population despite our resilience. The burnout rate in the NHS is 75 percent. Mentally ill surgeons have a six times higher complication rate. 36 percent of UK surgeons have trauma symptoms, and 12 percent of UK surgeons have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. For a brilliant overview of childhood trauma read the book by Pete Walker 'Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving.' According to "The Body Keeps The Score" by Van Der Kolk, nearly half of childhood trauma survivors numb their feelings with addictions. 75 percent of superachievers suffer in silence from childhood trauma, until it's too late. The effectiveness of medical organisations depends on the wellbeing of doctors. Michael West, professor of organisational psychology, said that the NHS should be run on compassion. In his interview, he says that the total lack of a compassionate view towards NHS staff in regard to their wellbeing has created the workforce staffing crisis in medicine. That is why you are waiting so long for appointments, procedures, and surgery. Doctors don't want to be doctors any more, because we are treated like dogs (and put down) by those who are supposed to care for us: They don't care.


As the WHO states “Most societies and most health and social systems neglect mental health and do not provide the care and support people (yes, doctors are people too) need and deserve. The result is that millions of people around the world suffer in silence, experience human rights violations, or are negatively affected in their daily lives. This should not be the story of mental health, globally or in your country. And it does not have to be… Everyone has a right to mental health. Everyone deserves the chance to thrive.” Do I look like someone who has no 'resilience'?


Despite my efforts to demonstrate insight and remediation the regulatory body demonstrated its outdated archaic ignorance of mental health. I had had three months of intensive psychotherapy with over 200 hours of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT), a full course of Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) treatment for childhood trauma (8 sessions), 100 hours of coaching, a mentor, 6 months training in personal transformation, weekly psychodynamic therapy (a modern form of psychoanalysis) for 18 months, read over 250 books on psychology, mental health, wellbeing, and personal transformation, joined, formed, and run recovery groups with hundreds of members, started regular meditation and yoga, took up long distance running again, got my life into balance, have set up a men's vulnerability group, and have had an awakening of my true Self: I don’t believe that anyone has ever done more to recover. What I have done is to demonstrate how to recover, but the regulatory bodies will not learn and do not understand.


I have a glowing 40 page CV. I worked in the NHS for 20 years, having performed 14,000 operations for trauma, cancer, and reconstruction without any complaints and having glowing annual appraisals throughout my career. But somehow the regulatory body thought it was best to exclude me when I became mentally ill, despite there being a national waiting list of over seven million patients. It’s really no wonder at all that the NHS is in crisis and meltdown. It is fucked, and deservedly so.


Carl Jung, the founding father of modern psychiatry and psychoanalysis described the journey of mental healing as one of transformation which “Can only happen to you when you walk on a path, which leads you to a higher understanding… Through a reeducation of the mind.” This letter was written in 1961. That was 62 years ago. This is the path that I have walked. One would have thought that medical institutions would have caught up by now on what mental wellbeing should look like. Tragically, I won’t be holding my breath. Henry David Thoreau wrote "Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves." Mental illness is an opportunity to thrive in possibility and find your real personal power, despite those institutions that do their very best to destroy you: Well, you didn't.


There is no compassion for mentally ill doctors. Especially from the medical profession, it's supposed 'recovery groups', which are not actually recovery groups, and the institutions that 'govern' doctors. My experience of them all has been absolutely horrific. Doctors are patients too: We are all human beings the last time I checked. We are sick patients trying to get well, not bad doctors trying to become good. It is well recognised that compassion is essential to recovery and wellbeing.


The medical institutions are broken, they have been told so by their own leaders, and they know it, but they don't know how to become compassionate leaders, or don't want to do anything about it through fear of their own demise: Doctors are voting with their feet, and leaving the profession as quickly as they can. Dame Clare Marx said that she "Emphasises the need for organisations to have leaders that act compassionately and promote wellbeing." Yet they press on, destroying lives. They speak of diversity and inclusion, yet completely forget to include those with mental illness and neurodiversity. This is very convenient for them as it would involve caring for the vast majority of us. Their words are hollow and just a nod to wellbeing, without any substance. Since 2005, 33 doctors have committed suicide whilst under professional investigation: 33 families that have been detonated for generations. Medicine has become institutionalised and those institutions are making doctors sick. All attacks are based on fear: Fear of not surviving. These attacks are made unwittingly and yet they are insidious.


When up to two thirds of the medical workforce is mentally ill it seems easier for our 'leaders' to decapitate those of us who put our heads above the parapet rather than understanding and addressing the reality of the situation. Their only focus is on the tip of the iceberg above the waterline. We all know what happened to the Titanic. Mental illness should not be a death sentence. One would think that doctors and those that supposedly look after their wellbeing should know that. Well, they really don't have any insight: At all.


To anyone going through this horror show, remember that the Truth is that this too shall pass and, as John Green wrote that "There is hope, even when your brain tells you there isn’t." It's ok to be vulnerable, in fact it's the only way to be authentic, connect with others, and to grow. As Brené Brown wrote "Vulnerability sounds like Truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they're never weakness." So, to those institutions that are supposed to lead us, I would suggest that you perhaps stop talking to us about 'resilience', and instead begin to have compassion for us. Would you have survived my childhood trauma?  Is it any wonder that more than half of our doctors in training are leaving medicine?


The British Medical Journal (BMJ), which is the journal for UK doctors, published a damning three page article on burnout amongst doctors in January 2025.


Interestingly, although they talked about burnout, they didn't give any concrete solutions other than in the last paragraph, where it states that "A spokesperson for NHS England says that the NHS staff are working incredibly hard to meet rising demand for care, which can take a toll on their wellbeing: ‘While there is more that we could and should do... and there is a range of mental health support for staff, including coaching and wellbeing resources.’”


Ananta Dave, a psychiatrist and Chief Medical Officer of an Intergrated Care Board, last year published a review of suicide in the medical profession. Dave said the statistics on burnout are damning, saying "Burnout essentially arises out of poorly managed worksplace conditions."


A General Medical Council (GMC) survey found that 40 percent of doctors were at risk of burnout in 2023. One quarter of doctors have taken leave of absence in the past year owing to stress. One in three doctors reported as 'struggling.' 50 percent of General Practitioners are 'struggling.'


The World Health Organisation (WHO) describes burnout as an occupational phenomenon resulting from chronic workplace stress. Burnout is a feeling of exhaustion, increased mental distance from your job (or feelings of negativism related to work), and reduced professional efficacy. In short you feel detached and depleted. Studies show that this is not due to a lack of 'reslience' as often said by the GMC, but that doctors need organisional support to alleviate stress and manage their distress.


Last April doctors reacted with outrage to the news that NHS Practitioner Health, which is funded by the NHS in England, would be closed to new signups. Research has shown that the staff contacting NHS Practitioner Health services were sicker or had more serious addictions than those generally using other NHS mental health services, and some were also going through regulatory procedures (with the GMC). Stigma and fears about confidentiality are also major concerns among those the service supports.


Clare Gerada, Former president of the Royal College of General Practitioners and the founder of NHS Practitioner Health, says that there's always been a lack of understanding about why doctors need a specialist service. She speaks from experience, having had burnout when her children were small. In her book on burnout, which explores why doctors are at high risk, Gerada says that the condition often affects those who have been the most “idealistic, enthusiastic, and engaged”: In other words, the best doctors.



GP Claire Davies said about doctors that "By the time we seek help, we end up with six months off sick."


For some doctors, burnout can lead to an incredibly dark place. Of around 6,500 clinicians who contacted NHS Practitioner Health in a year, a third say that they've had suicidal ideation.


The BMA it says that the medical profession has had a toxic culture for a long time, which has made it hard for people to admit that they're struggling, as the regulatory body (the GMC) saw it as a sign of weakness.



Carl Jung, the founding father of modern psychiatry and psychoanalysis described the journey of mental healing as one of transformation which “Can only happen to you when you walk on a path, which leads you to a higher understanding… Through a reeducation of the mind.” This letter was written in 1961. That was 63 years ago. This is the path that I have walked. One would have thought that medical institutions would have caught up by now on what mental wellbeing should look like. Tragically, I won’t be holding my breath. Henry David Thoreau wrote "Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves." Mental illness is an opportunity to thrive in possibility and find your Real Personal Power, despite those institutions that do their very best to destroy you: Well, they didn't.


There is no compassion for mentally ill doctors. Especially from the medical profession, it's supposed 'recovery groups', which are not actually recovery groups, and the institutions that 'govern' doctors. My experience of them all has been absolutely horrific. Doctors are patients too: We are all human beings the last time I checked. We are sick patients trying to get well, not bad doctors trying to become good. It is well recognised that compassion is essential to recovery and wellbeing.


As a doctor, I truly don't believe that burnout in any profession is due to workout stress. It is my firm belief that when you are following your calling you have infinite capability, possibilty, and energy. When you are being driven as you are not in a role that relates to your divine purpose or soul, everything will always be too much. The entire problem is that doctors are expected to be perfect, when we are all suffering from the same human condition.


Again, in the BMJ article although they talked about burnout, they didn't give any concrete solutions other than in the last paragraph, where it states that "A spokesperson for NHS England says that the NHS staff are working incredibly hard to meet rising demand for care, which can take a toll on their wellbeing.: "While there is more that we could and should do... and there is a range of mental health support for staff, including coaching and wellbeing resources.


So how can coaching help with those who are struggling? We are doing it all wrong. As Dr Gabor Maté wrote in his brilliant book 'The Myth of Normal' “Work pressures, multitasking, social media, news updates, multiplicities of entertainment sources - these all induce us to become lost in thoughts, frantic activities, gadgets, meaningless conversations. We are caught up in pursuits of all kinds that draw us on not because they are necessary or inspiring or uplifting, or because they enrich or add meaning to our lives, but simply because they obliterate the present.” Anxiety comes from living in the future. Depression and fear come from living in the past. Peace is only found in the present. As the therapist Shanon L Alder wrote "The true definition of mental illness is when the majority of your time is spent in the past or future, but rarely living in the realism of NOW.” in Transformative Life Coaching (TLC) I will teach you to become more present.


Is this all there is? The human brain has not evolved biologically in the last 10,000 years, so it is likely that our human condition is attributable to modern life. Modernity refers to technological changes arising after the industrial revolution. There does not appear to be such a thing as 'civilisation'. Sigmund Freud used the word 'malaise' or 'discomfort.' We have evolved to live in one environment, but we actually live in another. The faster our environment changes, the faster our brains get left behind. We now spend much of our lives in cyberspace. There is nothing inherently wrong with the internet, but much of our malaise and psychological dysfunction appears to have arisen from our limited capacity to make swift, healthy adaptations, particularly so with respect to social media. Mental illness, especially in the young, has been linked with screen time. Yearly surveys in over one million respondents show a sudden decrease in psychological wellbeing and life satisfaction after 2012. Experts have concluded that this is related to the rapid adoption of smartphones by adolescents. Tim Berners-Lee, the man who invented the internet, said that "Humanity, connected by technology on the web, is functioning in a Dystopian way."


Sales of 'self-help' books climbed by 20% in 2018. This is dominated by 'celebrity gurus' and pop-psychology. People are desperate for answers. Although charismatic figures are 'reassuring' and inspirational slogans can temporarily raise one's mood, the beneficial effects of such remedies are short-lived. Nothing has really changed. Existential angst still weighs heavily upon us. All the subtitutes offered such as iPhones, fads, diets, cosmetic treatments, positive mantras, etc., all point to our missing out on something more substantial. They are ways of avoiding feelings of emptiness that would otherwise overwhelm us. When we ask big questions, we want answers that have credible rationales. Human questions demand human answers. This is the role of the Enlightened Witness. Feeling is healing.


My two suicide attempts almost four years ago were thankfully unsuccessful. Why was I brought to my knees by mental illness, and so close to death? As Albert Einstein wrote "God doesn't play dice." I believe that I was brought to my knees so that I would pray. I was brought close to death so that I could go through a psychological and 'spiritual rebirth'. Confronting the fear of death, our deepest fear, is an integral part of any spiritual journey. It is as important now for spiritual seekers meditating in their living rooms, as it was thousands of years ago when initiates prayed in the temples of their favourite deities. The most powerful coaching, even for top executives, is 'Deep Coaching' or Transformative Life Coaching (TLC): Without such a shift in perception from the ego to our true Self or soul we end up living small and safe, making decisions with our ego minds rather than our souls. This limits our possibility for life, being held back by primal fear and false beliefs.


To live the spiritual life (I don't mean religion, which is very different to spirituality), we must learn how to 'die and be reborn'. The 'dark night of the soul' is when we take the deep plunge and come to terms with the buried aspects of us that crave death, both from our current life, our childhood trauma, and the past. It is only in coming to terms with these dark parts of ourselves that we can be free of the shadow of death, and truly live the lives our souls desire. In John 3 "Jesus answered, "I tell you the Truth, no one can enter the Kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to Spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, `You must be born again.'" Buddha said “Just as a candle cannot burn without fire, men cannot live without a spiritual life.” It is this new life that puts the fire inside you to fuel your dreams.


I had a greater purpose than being a plastic surgeon: My 'psychological death', and my freedom from the chains of expectation of such a dysfunctional, Dystopian society, have allowed me to embrace the purpose that I was born for: To be a peaceful defender of men, who turns pain into peace and shame into Self-love by hearing your Truth and your intuition that comes from the highest version of you, when you are able to be vulnerable, open and express your emotions through your heart. A calling rather than being driven. When you are driven, you are not in control. We need Enlightened Witnesses experienced in TLC to guide us.


Joseph Campbell, who described the 'Hero's Journey', wrote “We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” It is not until you shut and lock the door behind you that the open door ahead of you becomes apparent.


My given names Olly Alexander literally mean: 'Peaceful defender of men'. This is why I have become a Transformative Life Coach for men who are in pain, fear, and shame. I have been where you are, I have felt your despair, I have suffered your pain, and I know the way forwards. The way out is through. The way in is the key to everything you ever dreamed of. Martin Luther King, Jr, wrote “Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.” Let me be your guide. Find the power of your VOICE.


In addition to the above, I would say that when one has a nervous breakdown, there is no ‘guide’ as to what to do next, when one has no hope at all. I was very fortunate that my family contacted my General Practitioner, a psychologist, and a psychiatrist. This led me to having a host of treatments and therapies, as well as coaching, mentoring, and discovering the transformative path to mental health recovery. Psychiatry numbed my pain enough to get through each day. Psychology unravelled me and made my subconscious childhood trauma conscious. Coaching saved my life, or rather I saved my life through Transformative Life Coaching (TLC). To me, it was essential. All these modalities were essential to my recovery. Having a guide was indispensable. My coach and I have now parted company as he felt that I needed to leap into the void to learn how to fly: And I have.


Each form of therapy is like a tool used to rebuild you - with its purpose but also with side-effects - like a hammer hitting your thumb. Sometimes a combination of tools (different therapies) is required to heal you. Sometimes other metaphors for Truth and forms of support are needed, like yoga in the treatment of trauma (as recommended in the brilliant book, and 'Bible of trauma', ‘The Body Keeps the Score’ by the leading expert Bessel van der Kolk. Sometimes a cosmic view of the whole toolbox, but also a view on what limitations the toolbox has, how the repairs/foundations are proceeding, and how well the building being erected is evolving are all required. This is the domain of Transformative Life Coaching (TLC). Faith is seeing the gleaming tower even before it is built. The TLC coach can see your path in a way that the therapist can't, unless they have had TLC training, as they are too close in and unaware of the 'blind-spots' in their tools.


According to the above WHO definition of mental health (as opposed to mental illness, which lies in the disciplines of psychiatry and psychology) mental health is a “State of wellbeing in which the individual realises his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community.” There is much overlap here with TLC. This is why my guide was critical to my recovery: He was very much a 'survival guide'. He was an Enlightened Witness who truly understood my path. I feel strongly that it’s not just enough to have a therapist anymore. We all also need an accountability partner. Someone to speak with regularly. Someone with compassion, love and understanding. It is so important to be listened to, as we have all the answers inside of us, but we need to verbalise them to someone else who does not judge us in order to hear them for ourselves. Let me be your guide back to wellbeing in addition to your medical support. We all need an Enlightened Witness on the path of recovering our true Selves. I have met some brilliant holistic psychiatrists, usually those who have walked the path themsleves. But I have also met some who have zero wisdom about what it means to truly heal your soul, who have clearly never read Carl Jung. They unravel you, don't heal you, and may cause more damage than they heal. I saved my Self, and I did it through TLC coaching. Only you can truly save your Self. How can someone who doesn't believe in the soul be expected to heal it?


As Elizabeth Gilbert said “Do you have the courage to bring forth the treasures that are hidden within you?” Friedrich Nietzsche believed that embracing difficulty is essential for a fulfilling life, considered the journey of Self-discovery one of the greatest and most fertile existential challenges. He wrote "Any human being who does not wish to be part of the masses need only stop making things easy for himself. Let him follow his conscience, which calls out to him: “Be yourself!" Every young soul hears this call by day and by night and shudders with excitement at the premonition of that degree of happiness which eternities have prepared for those who will give thought to their true liberation. There is no way to help any soul attain this happiness, however, so long as it remains shackled with the chains of opinion and fear. And how hopeless and meaningless life can become without such a liberation! There is no drearier, sorrier creature in Nature than the man who has evaded his own genius and who squints now towards the right, now towards the left, now backwards, now in any direction whatever... No one can build you the bridge on which you, and only you, must cross the river of life. There may be countless trails and bridges and demigods who would gladly carry you across; but only at the price of pawning and forgoing your Self. There is one path in the world that none can walk but you. Where does it lead? Don’t ask, walk!... Let the young soul survey its own life with a view of the following question: “What have you truly loved thus far? What has ever uplifted your soul, what has dominated and delighted it at the same time?” Assemble these revered objects in a row before you and perhaps they will reveal a law by their Nature and their order: The fundamental law of your very Self. Compare these objects, see how they complement, enlarge, outdo, transfigure one another; how they form a ladder on whose steps you have been climbing up to your Self so far; for your true Self does not lie buried deep within you, but rather rises immeasurably high above you, or at least above what you commonly take to be your 'I'... Even the most courageous among us only rarely has the courage to face what he already knows."


Carl Jung, the star in the pantheon of psychiatry said “Only what is really oneself has the power to heal.” In 'C.G. Jung Letters' he wrote "Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Without, everything seems discordant; only within does it coalesce into unity. Who looks outside dreams; who looks inside awakes." Jung said "I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become." Jesus had already said in Luke 4:23 "Physician, heal thyself." This is a biblical proverb meaning that people should take care of their own defects and not focus on correcting the projected faults of others. It is also the idea that you cannot fill the cup of others unless your cup is full, too. 


The compassion of possibility is when I look at even the most fearful person, I see them without judgement as the full human being that they are and that can be manifested. I am aware of that possibility. This is the level of compassion that we aim for in Transformative Life Coaching (TLC). I see and speak to the highest version of you and it brings it to life for you, free of ego. Compassion is the only thing we can actually give anyone. To be seen by another without judgement is the first step to you having Self-compassion, Self-worth and Self-love. Buddha said "You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire Universe, deserve your love and affection." That is not vanity, that is wellbeing. Love, according to Albert Einstein) is the most powerful force in the Universe. Seneca, the Stoic Philosopher, said “Love in its essence is spiritualfire.” Always remember, as Max Lucado wrote, that "You are valuable just because you exist. Not because of what you do or what you have done, but simply because you are."


Compassion is the antidote to shame, which so many of us carry. Dr Gabor Maté wrote "Whereas individual people can become dislocated by misfortunes in any society, only a free-market society produces mass dislocation as part of its normal functioning, even during periods of prosperity... When people start to lose a sense of meaning and get disconnected, that's where disease comes from, that's where breakdown in our health - mental, physical, social health - occurs, the psychiatrist and neuroscientist Bruce Perry told me. If a gene or virus were found that caused the same impacts on the population's wellbeing as disconnection does, news of it would bellow from front-page headlines. Because it transpires on so many levels and so pervasively, we almost take it for granted; it is the water we swim in... Is it possible nevertheless that our consumer culture does make good on its promises, or could do so? Might these, if fulfilled, lead to a more satisfying life? When I put the question to renowned psychologist Tim Krasser, Professor emeritus of psychology at Knox College, his response was unequivocal. "Research consistently shows," he told me, 'That the more people value materialistic aspirations as goals, the lower their happiness and life satisfaction and the fewer pleasant emotions they experience day to day. Depression, anxiety, and substance abuse also tend to be higher among people who value the aims encouraged by consumer society... As materialism promises satisfaction but, instead, yields hollow dissatisfaction, it creates more craving. This massive and self-perpetuating addictive spiral is one of the mechanisms by which consumer society preserves itself by exploiting the very insecurities it generates.'"


Consumerism is insatiable. It's an addiction. Just look at all the people wandering around shops at the weekend, like it's a pastime, regardless of their income, when the woods, parks, and forests are empty. Try taking an ipad off your toddler and see their reaction - we become addicted to consumerism from early childhood. Denis Waitly wrote “Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, Grace, and gratitude.” This is what I would call bliss and joy.


Dr Gabor Maté calls on us to get real “In many other spheres, including social media, we too often present an artificial, ('perfect') “Botoxed” version of ourselves: An image not of who we are but of how we would like to be perceived by others. “What we have with the internet is sort of a Botox for the masses,” Peter said. “We have just lost this capacity to be real (not perfect), which is fundamentally what makes us human, and what makes us feel connected to each other.” Authenticity is key to health. This is why so many of our celebrities are dying: They have a crisis of authenticity. The fracture of their psyche causes their mental illness. They are an extreme example of how everyone is becoming right now. People don't think that they will be loved for who they are. Dr Maté continues "The onset of inauthenticity may not be a choice, but with awareness and Self-compassion, authenticity can be.”


Psychologist Lauren Fogel Mersy wrote “Being able to be your true Self is one of the strongest components of good mental health.” It's a rarity in today's world. Paulo Coelho wrote "All stress, anxiety, depression, is caused when we ignore who we are, and start living to please others.” Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, the psychiatrist who described the five stages of grief, wrote “It is not the end of the physical body that should worry us. Rather, our concern must be to live while we're alive - to release our inner Selves from the spiritual death that comes with living behind a facade designed to conform to external definitions of who and what we are.” Julian Seifter adds "You are not your illness. You have an individual story to tell. You have a name, a history, a personality. Staying your Self is part of the battle." You have the Power of your VOICE. Do not feel judged by those who are asleep. Neville Goddard wrote "All the honours of men in a state of sleep are as nothing."


Dr Gabor Maté wrote "Unless we can measure something, science won’t concede it exists, which is why science refuses to deal with such “non-things” as the emotions, the mind, the soul, or the Spirit." In order to heal, we need to express our emotions, drop out of our negative thinking mind and into our open hearts, and connect with and become one with our soul, Higher Power, or true Self (these are all the same thing). As Pierre Teilhard de Chardin wrote "We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience." I have found that this always leads me out of fear, even where medication and therapy have failed. Many modern psychologists including Dr Gabor Maté feel that spiritual dis-ease underlies much of our mental illness.


The 18th century German philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau, who influenced the Age of Enlightenment, argued that a proper education is one that does not include constructs and institutions created by humans for the purpose of controlling other humans. A proper education is one that allows Nature to teach humans according to their nature. His philosophy contributed to the French Revolution, overthrowing man-made institutions hiding under the guise of civil society. His most famous statement was that "Man is born free and everywhere he is in chains.” He also said that "What wisdom can you find that is greater than kindness?.. No man has any natural authority over his fellow men... Man is naturally good, and that it is from these institutions alone that men become wicked.” Civilisation, then, is not so civilised. Similarly to Carl Jung, Rousseau said that human beings have the unique ability to change their nature through free choice, instead of being confined to natural instincts. Who you are BEing is a moment-to-moment choice once you become conscious. He believed that humans are able to choose in a way that improves their condition. These improvements could be lasting, leading not only to individual, but also collective change for the better. Together with human freedom, the ability to improve makes possible the historic evolution of humanity. He said "God made me and broke the mold." This is true for every one of us. We are all unique and our worth is not conditional on anything. He also said "I prefer being a man with paradoxes than a man with prejudices." Prejudices are harmful judgements and are not based on reason.


My psychiatrist told me that Nature knows what it is doing and to trust the process. Dr Maté echoes “There arises the possibility of returning to what Nature has always intended for us: Once we resolve to see clearly how things are, the process of healing - a word that, at its root, means “returning to wholeness” - can begin.” This is a remembering of who we are and integrating our inner child and our Higher Self to become whole.


Faith and spirituality are disciplines of healing that use the same metaphors as psychology and philosophy to explain how one heals a fractured psyche. The first recorded instance of Jesus, a human being who was one of the greatest philosophers of all time who always lived and made choices from his Higher Self from BEing love, saying, “Your Faithhas made you well” is found in Matthew 9:22. Some versions of the Bible translate Jesus’ words as “Thy Faith hath made thee whole,” and, “Your Faith has healed you.” To me this is a metaphor for authenticity and integration of your inner child with your Higher Self. This shows how the various disciplines of positive psychology, philosophy, spiritually and Faith are different ways of describing the same Truth. Transformative Life Coaching (TLC) is a blend of all these disciplines, which are all so effective in finding peace and wellbeing, because they are actually all based on the same Truth. The Venn diagram of these disciplines mostly involves the overlap: Which is the moment-to-moment choice of living from a place of love: A place of authentic wholeness and integrity.


Ram Dass, the Harvard psychiatrist, said that "Pain is the (ego) mind. It's the thoughts of the mind. Then I get rid of the thoughts, and I get in my witness, which is down in my spiritual heart. The witness that witnesses BEing. Then those particular thoughts that are painful - love them. I love them to death!” I too have found this to be such deep Truth. The key to joy, peace, and love are to never leave the seat of your soul.


Deepak Chopra wrote "The world sometimes feels like an insane asylum. You can decide whether you want to be an inmate or pick up your visitor's badge. You can be in the world but not engage in the melodrama of it; you can become a spiritual being having a human experience thoroughly and fully." Marianne Williamson, the presidential candidate wrote “The spiritual path – is simply the journey of living our lives. Everyone is on a spiritual path; most people just don't know it... To trust in the force that moves the Universe is Faith. Faith isn't blind, it's visionary.” In my own experience the people who are the most successful in recovery are those who walk the spiritual path, without fail.


So, Transformative Life Coaching (TLC) brings together elements of traditional coaching, positive psychology, philosophy (including Stoicism and Existential Philosophy), wellbeing approaches, spirituality, and other timeless Truths to form a unique blend that allows you to step out of your fears and into infinite possibility for every area of your life.


TLC uniquely creates and holds the space for you to see your Self afresh, with clarity, and step into new limitless ways of BEing, which will transform how you intuitively create your world. Create from the heart. My work is to guide you to raise your own conscious awareness to the level that you want to achieve, without the fears that are holding you back.


Deepak Chopra wrote “Enlightened leadership is spiritual if we understand spirituality not as some kind of religious dogma or ideology but as the domain of awareness where we experience values like Truth, goodness, beauty, love and compassion, and also intuition, creativity, insight and focused attention.” Amen to those.


Dr Edward Bach wrote "Disease is, in essence, the result of conflict between soul and mind (ego), and will never be eradicated except by spiritual and mental effort." We are all working towards our own mental health. Lack of unconditional love causes most mental and emotional illnesses. It’s not by chance that the word evolve contains the word love in it. The mind is the dwelling place of ego, and the heart is the dwelling place of the soul. You can feel it can't you?


Embarking on a spiritual journey entails stepping into the labyrinth of Self-discovery and consciousness. On this path, the wisdom of revered Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung can serve as a beacon of light. From understanding your unconscious, embracing your authentic Self, and acknowledging your relationship with the infinite, these words of wisdom from the legend that is Carl Jung will provide invaluable insights to guide your spiritual journey: "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life, and you will call it fate... The world is changing, and I’m on the transition team. Awaken and shine your light for others to follow. The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are... The decisive question for man is: Is he related to something infinite or not?.. The sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being... People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own souls. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious... There is no coming to consciousness without pain." When asked if he believed in the existence of God, Carl Jung replied "I don't believe, I know." Yes, he was one of the leading psychiatrists of all time. The point of life is to create who and what you are, and then to experience that. Then Nature heals, you receive the Grace of God, and, as Amy Winehouse sang in her album 'Back to Black', "Tears dry on their own."


Gabor Maté wrote “Much of what we call personality is not a fixed set of traits, only coping mechanisms a person acquired in childhood.” This is the basis of compassion.


I am here. I see you. I hear you. There is nothing to fear, and nothing to be ashamed of. I have total compassion for you. I will never judge you. I will see the highest version of you until you see it for your Self. Let me be your guide.

 

Conclusion

Expectations are the domain of ‘perfectionism’ and the ego – our false small self. They lead to resentments and anger. Agreements are key to progress and come from your Highest Self taking action, letting go of the outcomes, reflecting on them and then going for another round in the ring of life. Embrace progress over perfection, and you’ll find the journey much more enjoyable. Perfection is an illusion. Progress is the real deal. Perfection is the enemy of progress, and progress is what we need in order to grow and thrive. Give yourself permission to make mistakes along the way. There’s no such thing as perfect. Chasing perfection is exhausting and a waste of time. Embrace progress over perfection, and you’ll be surprised how much you can achieve. Progress isn’t at all about being perfect. It’s about being better than you were yesterday. Perfectionism is a form of procrastination. Take action today. Perfectionism is a curse. Dive into progress and break free from the pathological grip of perfectionism.


Namaste.


Sending you love, light, and blessings brothers.


Olly



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Hello,

I am delighted and enchanted to meet you. I coach men with 'Deep Coaching', 'Supercoaching', and Transformative Life Coaching (TLC). Thank you for reading this far. I very much look forward to connecting with the highest version of you, to seeing your highest possibility, and to our conversations. Please do contact me via my email for a free connection call and a free experience of coaching on Zoom or in person. 


“Transformative life coaching uniquely creates and holds the space for you to see your self afresh, with clarity, and step into new ways of BEing, which will transform how you perceive and intuitively create your world. My work is to guide you to raise your own conscious awareness to the level that you want to achieve.”







Click here for the books that I know will help you along your journey of recovering your Self:









I have a Bachelor's degree in Natural Sciences from Trinity College, Cambridge; a Master's Degree in Philosophy from Trinity College, Cambridge; a PhD Doctorate in Scientific Research from University College London (UCL); a Medical Degree (MD/MBBS) from The Royal Free Hospital School of Medicine, London and have been a doctor and reconstructive trauma and cancer surgeon in London for 20 years. I have a number of other higher qualifications in science and surgery. I have published over 50 peer reviewed PubMed cited scientific journal articles, have been an associate editor and frequent scientific faculty member, and am the author of several scientific books. I have been awarded my Diploma in Transformative Life Coaching in London, which has International Coaching Federation (ICF) Accreditation, as well as the UK Association for Coaching (AC), and the European Mentoring and Coaching Council (EMCC). I have been on my own transformative journey full time for over five years and I am ready to be your guide to you finding out who you really are and how the world works.




Please let me know if you would like to join our 'VOICE for men' VIP community: 'Vulnerability & Openness Is a Choice Ensemble', 'Visibility Is Power', where men can find their strength, courage, and authenticity, by dropping their egocentric fears and instead communicate openly with vulnerability. We are co-creating this space. It will change your life. It will empower you. This community is a safe space for men to connect and discuss philosophy, spirituality, positive psychology, awakening to Self-realisation, wisdom and timeless Truths, to share our experience, strength and hope, and to find solutions to our pain and fears. Our meeting is free to join. There is no script, just sharing.



 
 
 

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