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Re-Integrating Your Psyche

Updated: Jan 28

You may say to your Self “On this day I have the courage to face what's necessary so I can realise the promise of my healed and integrated True Self.” But what does integrating your True Self look like, what does it mean, and what does it involve?


Becoming whole


On page 303 of the ‘Big Red Book’ of ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families), which is in my ‘Suggested Reading List’, it states that "While the Inner Child or True (integrated) Self can be the spark of our creativity, we must also remember the child is a deeply hurt part of ourselves." We were born whole, joyous, and free, and then parental and societal conditioning fractured our psyche, or True Self, into the wounded inner child, our shadow, our inner and outer critics, and a fragile version of our Higher Power. This was a crisis of authenticity in order to survive. We needed to wear masks in order to be loved.


Many of us have pursued an understanding of our True Self, awakening our Inner Child and expressing our creativity in the hope of relieving ourselves from suffering. Yet we face an obstacle - a persistent and harsh self-judgement that we can't seem to stop, and this cripples our ability to love and forgive ourselves. This underlying erroneous thinking compels us to continue subconscious dysfunctional, externally validating, addictive behaviours, resulting in mental illness. We wonder why we can't get out from under this ‘curse-like’ self-sabotage and realise the infinite possibility and promise of our True Self.


We learn in ACA to get in touch with and feel the pain and grief of the deeply hurt parts of ourselves in order for our True Self to blossom into the true abundance of our BEing. We've avoided this for years, even decades, due to an inherent reluctance to face the unbearable pain of our childhoods, usually subconsciously, and we've suffered from the consequences of this avoidance. We come to see that we won't enjoy the fulfilment of living as our True Selves until we face, and get free from, the roots of the wounded parts from childhood and reintegrate our fractured psyches.


With our Higher Power's help, and support from our fellow travellers, sponsors, coaches, and our Enlightened Witness guides, we practice a gentle and gradual process of peeling the layers of the ‘psychological onion’ in order to find the core of our pain and, paradoxically, to find the joy, power, and effervescence of our True Self. It's an organic process, and a healing journey unique to each of us, yet we're supported in a unified approach that integrates recovery work, our Higher Power, and our healed Inner Child, along with the blessed parts of our shadow. Everyone is on this spiritual journey, we just don’t always realise it yet, and we have to be ready and willing to undertake the inner journey.


We have to find the courage to face our feelings and do the recovery work in order to face what’s necessary to reintegrate our psyches and realise the promise of our True Selves.

This process involves embracing our shadow (the parts of ourselves that are buried in shame due to the critical voices of our parents and society that we have internalised even if our parents have passed away); it involves tuning in to the small, quiet, yet all-powerful voice of our Higher Power; letting go of our inner and outer critics, or at least giving them a new role – that of being our inner coach; and most of all embracing our infinitely creative, playful, and supercharged inner child, allowing them to heal from the near-mortal wounds that our care-givers inflicted upon every one of us, so that their contribution to our psyche is unconditionally loving, gentle and positive, rather than petrified and fear-laden. It involves integrating these healed parts into your True Self, letting go of past trauma once it is healed; only carrying forward the lessons and not the wound. It involves no less than healing from the human condition that we all suffer from.


For this one can imagine embodying and integrating these fractured parts. It also involves finally closing the door to fear and past trauma; and confidently striding through the open door into the light of your True self. As it says in the Bible in Revelation 3:8 “I know thy works. Behold, I have set before thee an open door, and no man can shut it.” You will discover the power of Faith, and the guidance of meaning and purpose of the 'Golden thread' in your life. You will choose triumph over tears. Your future Self will thank you for it.


How to reintegrate your psyche

Along with holistic spiritual psychotherapeutic approaches, the following practices or tools may be very useful in returning to wholeness:


  1. Guided embodiment meditation: Meeting with, and visualising the integration of, the elements of your psyche can be extremely powerful. This can be done with an Enlightened Witness or Transformative Life Coach (TLC). For me, this was by far the most powerful tool in the whole box, and is how I met my Higher Self and embodied the merging of my inner child, shadow and Higher Self into my True Self.

  2. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices, including meditation, can help individuals develop greater Self-awareness and acceptance of their inner experiences.

  3. Writing: Journalling, 'non-dominant-handed writing', 'voicing' your Truth, and other forms of writing such as a blog, can be a helpful tool for processing emotions and gaining insight into one’s inner world.

  4. Creative expression: Engaging in creative activities, such as art, writing, or music, can allow individuals to tap into their subconscious mind and explore the inner child (a wellspring of creativity and playfulness) and the shadow in a non-judgemental way.

  5. Self-reflection: Reflecting on past experiences, patterns of behaviour, and emotional triggers can help individuals identify and accept inner child and shadow aspects of themselves.

  6. Connection with others: Having a supportive network of family, friends, or peers can provide essential emotional support and encouragement during the integration process.


Welcome to your True Self: I think you will love them and they in turn will love you into total wellbeing, peace, love, joy, and abundance. Are you ready, willing, and brave enough to make your subconscious conscious? This is a simple journey, although not an easy one. This is the most momentous and significant thing that you will ever do. You will need the support of a guide on the Hero's Journey, as we all do, whether that be an Enlightened Witness, a Transformative Life Coach (TLC), or a sponsor. This journey will lead you to where your Real Personal Power resides…


Speak in such a way that others love to listen to you: Listen in such a way that others love to speak to you.


George Bernard Shaw wrote that “Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” Are you ready to change your mind?


Namaste.


Sending you love, light, and blessings brothers.


Olly



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Hello,

I am delighted and enchanted to meet you. I coach men with 'Deep Coaching', 'Supercoaching', and Transformative Life Coaching (TLC). Thank you for reading this far. I very much look forward to connecting with the highest version of you, to seeing your highest possibility, and to our conversations. Please do contact me via my email for a free connection call and a free experience of coaching on Zoom or in person. 


“Transformative life coaching uniquely creates and holds the space for you to see your self afresh, with clarity, and step into new ways of BEing, which will transform how you perceive and intuitively create your world. My work is to guide you to raise your own conscious awareness to the level that you want to achieve.”







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I have a Bachelor's degree in Natural Sciences from Trinity College, Cambridge; a Master's Degree in Philosophy from Trinity College, Cambridge; a PhD Doctorate in Scientific Research from University College London (UCL); a Medical Degree (MD/MBBS) from The Royal Free Hospital School of Medicine, London and have been a doctor and reconstructive trauma and cancer surgeon in London for 20 years. I have a number of other higher qualifications in science and surgery. I have published over 50 peer reviewed PubMed cited scientific journal articles, have been an associate editor and frequent scientific faculty member, and am the author of several scientific books. I have been awarded my Diploma in Transformative Life Coaching in London, which has International Coaching Federation (ICF) Accreditation, as well as the UK Association for Coaching (AC), and the European Mentoring and Coaching Council (EMCC). I have been on my own transformative journey full time for over five years and I am ready to be your guide to you finding out who you really are and how the world works.




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