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The Art of Falling Apart

Updated: Jan 25

One minute, everything seems stable, and the next, your job is slipping away, relationships are crumbling, and the future feels like a terrifying blur.


It feels like the Universe is conspiring against you. But the Universe isn’t punishing you. It is guiding you to a place where you can start again.


Your life falls apart for a reason. It’s a challenge sent to you by the part of you that loves you the most in order to redirect you to your true purpose. That may mean changing jobs, leaving a relationship, and being led to a path of spiritual awakening.


Are you ready for a metamorphosis into a much more beautiful life?


The key is not to resist it. Control is insanity and the primary cause of anxiety. The key is to let go totally and surrender. Otherwise it’s like fighting the Universe in a futile tug-of-war.


Sometimes things fall apart so better things can fall together. There is an art to this destruction and reconstruction. It’s a rebirth. A resurrection. You are giving birth to your saviour - you are the midwife to your new life.


If you don’t surrender you will start self-medicating with alcohol, addictions, and other compulsions. But this is suicide in slow motion, like a prolonged game of Russian roulette. The key is to avoid this self-sabotage and just see reality for what it is. Let that decaying world crumble. Allow the caterpillar to metamorphose into a butterfly. If you keep fighting it you will simply end up as a dead caterpillar. Embrace the change into a butterfly. It will be painful at first, but not as painful as the alternative. Don’t fight it. The dawn will come and it will be magnificent. Realising your powerlessness is your first step to True Personal Power.


Sometimes, life falls apart so you can see the cracks that have always been there. We get so attached to the familiar - even when it is not serving us - that we ignore the signs urging us to change direction. The Universe has a funny way of intervening when we refuse to listen to those signs. It starts with gentle nudges: a persistent feeling of dissatisfaction, boredom with your routine, or a sense that something is missing. But when you ignore those whispers long enough, the Universe starts SHOUTING. It pulls the rug out from under you, forcing you to confront the very things you have been avoiding. It can be terrifying. The art is in recognising this need to surrender to change early enough to avoid hurting your self or those who you love. But, as Anaïs Nin wrote “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Not everyone is ready to change until they hit a painful rock bottom.


As Joseph Campbell wrote, the author of the ‘Hero’s Journey’, that “We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.”


It’s actually a very exciting time. There is a great unknown ahead of you. You will be guided through daily prayer and meditation, and a guide or Enlightened Witness. When the student is ready, the teacher appears. I have found this to be very true. The Universe works through signs and synchronicities, but also by setting a variety of people on the path of your journey to guide you in redirecting you. Also ask your Self at every fork in the road “What would love do now?” You will hear your answer during meditation. You will know it’s the right answer as it will feel like peace, joy, and bliss.


It is liberating. That job you lost? Maybe you were never really happy there. That relationship that ended? Perhaps it was holding you back from becoming who you were meant to be and it was just imitation love or even toxic. The future you so carefully planned wasn’t aligned with your true desires after all.


When life falls apart, it is easy to get caught in the storm of emotions - fear, anger, grief. But recognising that chaos is a reset, not a setback, is the first step toward transformation.


You feel lost, but also strangely excited. Deep down, amidst the confusion, you sense the possibility of something new. It is as if your soul knows something better is waiting on the other side of this upheaval.


You are being pushed to let go. Whether it is letting go of people, places, things, events, or ideas, you feel a strong urge to release what no longer serves you. It is uncomfortable but necessary.


In moments like this, do not cling to what is falling away. Trust that what is coming will be more aligned with who you are becoming.


Here is the truth that took me years to understand: destruction is a form of creation.


Think about it: A forest fire seems devastating in the moment, but it clears the way for new growth. Nature knows that sometimes, to make way for the new, the old must be burned away. In general, the old is your ego.


The job you lost is clearing space for a career that aligns with your passion. The relationship that ended is opening the door for deeper connections based on true unconditional love. The plans that fell apart are making room for dreams you hadn’t even allowed yourself to imagine.


When everything feels like it is collapsing, the first instinct is to resist. But resistance only deepens the pain.


Letting go may be momentarily harder than holding on, but the moment you release, you start to see the gifts hidden in the loss that arrive effortlessly and without pain. New opportunities, new people, and new ideas begin to flow in when the old falls away.


At first, it feels like walking through fire. You are not sure how things will come back together, but there is a subtle sense of possibility that lingers beneath the fear. The pain of change is real, but staying the same is far more damaging.


Don’t resist. Trust the process. The more you resist what is falling away, the harder the process becomes. Instead, trust that the Universe knows what it is doing - even if you don’t yet.


Find the lessons: What is this chaos trying to teach you? What have you been holding onto that no longer serves you? Where is life asking you to grow?


Trust that the Universe has a far greater plan than the one you have been clinging to. I don’t want you to give up. I want you to let go of control. Life isn’t falling apart. It is falling into place.


The Universe knows when it is time for you to grow. And sometimes, that growth requires dismantling everything you thought you needed.


And when the dust finally settles, don’t be surprised if you find yourself standing in a life that feels more like home than the one you left behind. It will feel like a hug from your mother or God.




It’s time for you to discover your authenticity.


It’s time to practice the spiritual gold of non-attachment, non-resistance, and non-judgement (especially of your Self).


Trust me, I know this journey very, very well. Know that all is very well and that a life of infinite possibility awaits you…


I see you, I hear you, I see the divine in you.


Speak in such a way that others love to listen to you: Listen in such a way that others love to speak to you.


Namaste.


Sending you love, light, and blessings brothers.


Olly



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Hello,

I am delighted and enchanted to meet you. I coach men with 'Deep Coaching', 'Supercoaching', and Transformative Life Coaching (TLC). Thank you for reading this far. I very much look forward to connecting with the highest version of you, to seeing your highest possibility, and to our conversations. Please do contact me via my email for a free connection call and a free experience of coaching on Zoom or in person. 


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I have a Bachelor's degree in Natural Sciences from Trinity College, Cambridge; a Master's Degree in Philosophy from Trinity College, Cambridge; a PhD Doctorate in Scientific Research from University College London (UCL); a Medical Degree (MD/MBBS) from The Royal Free Hospital School of Medicine, London and have been a doctor and reconstructive trauma and cancer surgeon in London for 20 years. I have a number of other higher qualifications in science and surgery. I have published over 50 peer reviewed PubMed cited scientific journal articles, have been an associate editor and frequent scientific faculty member, and am the author of several scientific books. I have been awarded my Diploma in Transformative Life Coaching in London, which has International Coaching Federation (ICF) Accreditation, as well as the UK Association for Coaching (AC), and the European Mentoring and Coaching Council (EMCC). I have been on my own transformative journey full time for over five years and I am ready to be your guide to you finding out who you really are and how the world works.




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