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The Most Beautiful Souls Are The Most Vulnerable

Updated: Jan 25

Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross said that “The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”



People love to love, then they hate and destroy, and then love again. Being vulnerable may lead to your crucifixion, but it will also lead to your transformation and resurrection.


The paradox is that vulnerability allows you to become your true Self. And your true Self is invulnerable.


Brené Brown wrote "What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful."


The qualities that make me human — my capacity for love, kindness, selflessness and Truth — can also be my source of suffering. Novelist, short-story writer, and journalist Ernest Hemingway understood this. He lived a life of adventure and risk. He witnessed the horrors of war and the emptiness of fame. Hemingway made an honest observation that changed my outlook on. He said, “The best people possess a feeling for beauty, the courage to take risks, the discipline to tell the Truth, the capacity for sacrifice. Ironically, their virtues make them vulnerable; they are often wounded, sometimes destroyed.” But it is not final - this is the source of your rebirth of your Higher Self in this life. You are your saviour. Your one job is to be the midwife to the birth of your soul. You are the phoenix that rises from the ashes.


Beauty, kindness, love, Truth, courage, and sacrifice change lives. But Hemingway points out that vulnerability comes with these virtues. Beauty, courage and Truth open us up to pain. They open you to the world and its weight. “The world breaks everyone, and afterward, many are strong at the broken places,” notes Hemingway. The best people live with contradictions. Their virtues are sources of light. But they may also be the source of wounds. Vulnerability makes life meaningful. The best people understand this. They choose depth over safety. They pay the price for the complete human experience. Their lives might break them temporarily, but they inspire the rest of us to rise. They allow us to become the victor instead of the victim.


Hemingway admired the fragility of people who have both beauty and pain. They may seem too sensitive, too honest, too reckless. But they carry burdens most people avoid. The best people endure destruction, but they keep going. They practice their virtues, even in pain. It exposes them. Sometimes it destroys them. But they keep doing what makes them come alive. That’s the courage Hemingway admired. “Courage is grace under pressure.” he said. The best people inspire me because they are vulnerable. They don’t hide from the inevitable pain of living. Do you want to come alive?


Kübler-Ross said, “Beautiful people do not just happen.” They evolve. Each painful setback teaches a lesson. You and I can choose how struggle changes us. It can make us bitter, or it can make us better. It can harden us, or it can soften us. Beautiful people choose the second path. They let suffering open them, not close them. The most beautiful people are not just touched by life. They’re defined by it. They carry the scars and the wisdom. And they give us hope. Struggle breaks people, but it also builds them.


Viktor Frankl, who survived the Holocaust, said, “What is to give light must endure burning.” He saw the worst of humanity. But found meaning in suffering. He endured unimaginable pain. He lost his whole family. He faced death every day. Yet he found purpose. He became a hugely influential psychiatrist and defined meaning perfectly. He write the brilliant book 'Man's Search For Meaning', which is in my 'Suggested Reading List'.


Frankl took his pain and turned it into wisdom. He helped others find meaning. His light came from the burning. Pain transforms people. It teaches compassion. It shows what truly matters. Those who have lived this Truth shine differently.


Hemingway and Kübler-Ross’ words remind me of the Japanese art of kintsugi. Broken pottery isn’t discarded. It’s repaired with gold. The cracks don’t hide. They make it more beautiful.


Rumi wrote “The wound is the place where the light enters you.”


Brené Brown wrote that “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.”


Would you like to lead a miraculous life full of infinite possibility, Real Personal Power, and abundance? Amy Poelher wrote that “It’s very hard to have ideas. It’s very hard to put your Self out there, it’s very hard to be vulnerable, but those people who do that are the dreamers, the thinkers and the creators. They are the magic people of the world.” In a world that mistakenly believes that true beauty is based on appearances (imagine if we could see each other's souls instead of each other's faces), and therefore craves external validation, Brené Brown is a breath of fresh air, when she says "What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful." 


So, take off your mask: Even you don't love the fake you. Carl Jung wrote that "People will do anything, no matter how absurd, to avoid facing their own souls... Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside (ego), dreams; who looks inside (the soul), awakes.” Theodore Roethke wrote "Love is not love until love's vulnerable." The iconic French film actress Catherine Deneuve said that "People who know me know I'm strong, but I'm vulnerable." That is what made her truly beautiful.


Haruki Murakami wrote “What happens when people open their hearts? They get better.” Vulnerability heals. I have found this to be so true.


What I have found is that when I am totally vulnerable, it opens the gate for others to do the same. People immediately take off their masks and allow themselves to express their emotions and deepest fears. Many people will cry. Crying is healing. It is a deeply moving, unconditonally loving, mesmerising, profound, inspiring, and spectacular experience.


May you respond to life with the vulnerability of your inner child, but with the strength of an adult - your Higher Self.


When you are totally open, fully authentic, and totally vulnerable, people light up, as it’s so rare for them to experience that: Your Truth gets to everyone else’s Truth and they instantly step into their highest way of BEing. The more vulnerable you allow your Self to be, the healthier you get. Vulnerability does all the work for you. You can see spiritual transformation happening before your eyes, in the present moment. People suddenly look like angels, and they radiate peace, even though they are expressing their previously hidden emotions and deepest fears. Their tears transmute to joy.


When you speak from the heart, that's when people really listen. And that's when their hearts open too. Vulnerability underpins the genuine capacity for human connection. It is a foundational stone of empowerment, possibility, and success in all areas of life. Vulnerability, when shared, is the basis of your new life and it is your way out of pain and fear.


Vulnerability is the state of being open, exposed, and emotionally honest. It involves willingly showing our true Selves, including our deepest fears, emotions, flaws, and uncertainties, without the protective mask and iron-clad armour of pretence or 'perfection'. It is about stepping out of our comfort zones and allowing ourselves to be seen authentically for who we truly are, building trust, and opening the doors to genuine connections and meaningful relationships. Leo Christopher wrote “Vulnerability is the essence of connection, and the connection is the essence of existence.” Vulnerability is a connection catalyst. It's a veritable force of Nature.



Our social DNA and our 'dog-eat-dog' society does not inherently encourage us to be vulnerable. For instance, in an interview with the best known and unique researcher on shame and vulnerability, Professor Brené Brown discussed a workshop that she had facilitated. Coaches from 48 different nations participated: Every one of them mentioned a saying from their own culture that conflated weakness with vulnerability. Being vulnerable is viewed as a weakness rather than as a virtue or as a sign of courage in many of today's cultures. 


The Merriam-Webster definition of vulnerability is "Capable of being physically or emotionally wounded - Open to attack or damage: Assailable." This fundamental error is because most of our dysfunctional world consists of egos running amok: This underlies all the problems, drama, and conflicts in the world. No wonder it's a total shambles right now. No wonder the world is unaware of what vulnerability means and what gold it can pour forth.


We think that we are meant to be perfect, but we are not allowed to express our true Selves.


Every time you share an emotion with another you halve its power over you. Just keep doing that. When you share emotions, use 'I' statements as then you own your feelings, and owning them allows you to give them away; to surrender them once you have felt them. Never censor your emotions. Avoid the word 'should' as it condemns us. Say "When you do this, I feel like this..."


Fear is the language of the ego: Fear is a liar, and it hates and isolates. Vulnerability is the language of the soul: Vulnerability is the language of love, courage, and connection. Vulnerability is how you get to know your true Self as it is through emotions that we access our Truth: Truth is a feeling.


Vulnerability is the key to the new dawn just ahead of you, and a lock to the night behind you (you know, the one with the false narratives, trauma, and catastrophising or 'awfulising' thoughts).


The secret to living a wholehearted life is actually to embrace your attributes, your emotional intuitive intelligence, and to allow yourself to be vulnerable. Brené Brown sought out therapy herself after realising that acceptance of vulnerability and imperfection are the keys to a fulfilling and genuine existence instead of striving for impossible, unreachable, superficial ‘perfection’.


If we all lived life with vulnerability we would immediately realise that we all feel the same. This would bring an end to all conflict overnight and the human condition would be cured.


The more you reveal your true Self to others - the more you come to know your Self. This is the basis of the Johari Window, which was based on work done by Carl Jung. 


Vulnerability cultivates a relationship with your true Self, as well as a genuine connection with others, and a deep communion with the divine (the unseen power of the Universe that Albert Einstein referred to). Vulnerability means to recognise that you are essentially whole and unbroken: You can’t allow your Self to be vulnerable if you think that you are in pieces: You are not. The only way we can truly know ourselves and live this way is by being willing to be vulnerable. It is only by smelling your own emotional bouquet that the landscape of reality will reveal itself to you in all its awe, wonder, and splendour, where you may breathe in a little bit of the real world’s fragrant oxygen, beyond the most foul stink of illusion.


When we are vulnerable, people truly listen. The brilliant Stoic philosopher Epictetus wrote “Nature hath given men one tongue but two ears, that we may hear from others twice as much as we speak.” Vulnerability draws vulnerability and openness out of another person. It's an open gate opening another gate...


Namaste.


Sending you love, light, and blessings brothers.


Olly

Dr Olly Alexander Branford MBBS, MA(Cantab), PhD.

Fully qualified and certified coach


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Hello,

I am very pleased to meet you. Thank you for reading this far. I very much look forward to connecting with the highest version of you, to seeing your highest possibility, and to our conversations. Please do contact me via my email for a free connection call and a free experience of coaching.

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Dr Olly Alexander Branford MBBS, MA(Cantab), PhD

Fully qualified and certified coach


“Transformative life coaching uniquely creates and holds the space for you to see your self afresh, with clarity, and step into new ways of BEing, which will transform how you perceive and intuitively create your world. My work is to guide you to raise your own conscious awareness to the level that you want to achieve.”

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I have a Bachelor's degree in Natural Sciences from Trinity College, Cambridge; a Master's Degree in Philosophy from Trinity College, Cambridge; a PhD Doctorate in Scientific Research from University College London (UCL); a Medical Degree (MD/MBBS) from The Royal Free Hospital School of Medicine, London and have been a doctor and reconstructive trauma and cancer surgeon in London for 20 years. I have published over 50 peer reviewed scientific journal articles, have been an associate editor and frequent scientific faculty member, and am the author of several scientific books. I have been awarded my Diploma in Transformative Life Coaching in London, which has International Coaching Federation (ICF) Accreditation, as well as the UK Association for Coaching (AC), and the European Mentoring and Coaching Council (EMCC). I have been on my own transformative journey full time for over five years and I am ready to be your guide to you finding out who you really are and how the world works. I have written 400 articles for you and an eBook to guide you on your transformative journey, which are all available for free on my website - click on the link below:


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