Powerlessness is a much misunderstood term. For those undergoing transformation, spiritual awakening and Enlightenment, admitting to powerlessness is the first, the hardest, and most avoided step. Yet without this first step of powerlessness, you cannot access the power of the Universe: In others words, without powerlessness, you cannot experience Real Personal Power. Powerlessness is the existential launchpad for the recovery of your soul, it’s divine purpose, and its true power. Let me explain…
Powerlessness
Powerlessness
Franz Kafka and George Orwell both talked about powerlessness in their Dystopian novels. The theme has repeatedly been studied in the works of Hegel, Marx, Weber, Fromm, and Durkheim. Powerlessness has to do with man’s essence: Our ego and our soul. Powerlessness was described as the expectancy or probability held by the individual that his own behaviour cannot determine the occurrence of the outcomes, or reinforcements, he seeks, resulting in great suffering.
Franz Kafka was a writer whose words cut deep into the darkest corners of the human soul: Kafka’s ability to weave nightmarish tales of failure, powerlessness, self-loathing, and anxiety has left an indelible mark on the literary landscape of the 20th century. At the heart of Kafka’s literary brilliance lies his unyielding courage to explore the depths of his own darkness. He dared to venture where many fear to tread, uncovering the raw emotions that lurk within each one of us. Through his characters’ struggles with the enigmatic nature of existence, Kafka touched upon our deepest fears. As I reflect on Kafka’s life and works, I realise the profound lesson he imparts: Embrace the darkness within. Our struggles, anxieties, and self-loathing need not be hidden away in the recesses of our minds. Instead, they can be channelled into avenues of self-expression, catharsis, and ultimately, transformation. In the act of writing, Kafka found solace and purpose. His stories serve as a testament to the power of artistic expression to confront our inner demons and give them shape and meaning. We, too, can find liberation in journaling, writing, or any form of creative outlet that allows us to confront our fears and navigate the complexities of our existence. For me, I write daily, both in the early morning and late at night, and find there a place of total presence.
Russell Baker wrote “The twentieth century seems afflicted by a gigantic power failure. Powerlessness and the sense of powerlessness may be the environmental disease of the age.” The acknowledgement of powerlessness is the first step in empowerment. Marianne Williamson wrote “We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world… Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us… We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Henri Nouwen wrote “To be a minister means above all to become powerless, or in more precise terms, to speak with our powerlessness to the condition of powerlessness which is so keenly felt but so seldom expressed by the people of our age.”
The term 'powerlessness' describes a feeling of being unable to control one’s life: Realising you don't know how to handle situations without guidance. It means that whatever power is usually involved in making sound choices in our emotional behaviour did not reside with us. The fact that we became captives of these things shows that there was something extremely important and powerful in our emotional patterns which gave us some kind of “payoff’ that we thought we needed. Sometimes we were seeking to screen the world, with all its demands and responsibilities, out of our awareness by mesmerising ourselves.
All of us were using our emotional investments to lessen pain. These experiences became overwhelmingly compelling, carrying us along with them, exuberantly at first, and then less and less willingly. The original quest for distraction from life’s tensions and responsibilities, for relief from past guilt and present frustration, now led us into oblivion. The brave new worlds of morality where “anything goes” because “nothing matters” boomeranged, leaving us grasping for some residual sense of meaning or reality in life. Obsession and compulsion, now our masters, meant that control over our emotional lives no longer resided with us, or within us. We had lost control, regardless of whether we admitted it to ourselves or not. From the standpoint of “anything goes, who cares?” loss of control didn’t seem so bad. In fact, the addiction itself often held us spellbound, convinced that it was what we wanted. Many of us were so numbed that only a blast of emotional intensity from a 'hit' could penetrate and animate our progressively deadened, dissipated beings. Like a cattle prod jabbed into someone who is exhausted and dazed, an addictive hit jolted us into a temporary illusion that we were alive and really living. It was as though we had a voice in our heads which said, “If you get more, then everything will fall into place.”
Yet a vague but persistent nagging within our deepest self continued to bear witness that all was not well. Despite all the cultural and rational camouflage behind which our addiction could hide, it was impossible, short of suicide, to kill that innermost voice that whispered to us of life’s opportunities for growth and wholeness that we were helplessly letting slip by. The guilt of prior deeds or missed opportunities gave way to the deepest, most pervasive guilt of all: That of having left life unlived, of having turned our backs on the possibility of fulfilling a meaningful destiny. These existential pangs were not welcomed into our awareness. Yet they found their way in, whatever we did. The addiction itself could no longer deliver that formerly reliable, thoroughly engrossing emotional return. To continue to live out our addictive patterns, or to be controlled by them, brought us in touch with the terror of irrevocably losing sanity, of slipping over the edge of an abyss beyond which any stability and life purpose would be forever out of reach. We found this prospect to be more terrifying even than the thought of physical death. This loss of one’s soul could only be all the more poignant if the body in which it lived continued to exist, unanimated spiritually from within, and driven by imperious instinctual drives which would now have become its masters.
Yet for a few of us the terror of being further devoured by our addiction brought us to the point of unconditional surrender. We decided we had to stop. Now we began to confront the second aspect of powerlessness: The paradox that surrender to the impossibility of control is the beginning of recovery. Most of us had attempted at various times a wide range of strategies to control our behaviour so that our lives as addicts would somehow blend in with our “other” lives as members of society. These strategies, no matter how strong the conviction with which they were adopted, always turned out to be like “going on the wagon.” If we had some initial success in curbing our addictive behaviour, we would quickly take on an air of smug confidence, wholly unwarranted, and conclude that we would now be able to “manage things.” This merely lowered our defences, so that we sank back into the quicksand of our patterns again, sometimes within months or weeks, more often within days or hours. Our lack of success in managing our addiction, our loss of control, had become an established fact. We had experienced over and over the mind-altering effect which had sapped the strength of our resolve to free ourselves from addiction. Thus we approached the prospect of surrendering our addiction with real humility, for we had no way of knowing if such a surrender was even possible. The addiction itself made our willingness to attempt freeing ourselves of the disease highly questionable. But at least we were becoming desperate enough, once again, to try to extricate ourselves. We began to recognise that we were powerless, over an addictive pattern, of which any current, specific circumstance was just the most recent example. The whole trouble in our previous attempts to manage the addiction was that we had underestimated the desperate seriousness of our condition. In flailing about, trying to be free of a particularly painful situation, we had failed to comprehend the scope of the pattern towards which our current disaster was pointing, and of which it was a result.
We learned the hard way that there was no such thing as half-surrender. The “freedom” to define our own addictive pattern could not be used in a self-serving way. Our addictions are a reality that persists regardless of any short-sighted, convenient definition. If we were leaving out of our personal definition some behaviour that was addictive, it would certainly pull us back into the pattern again. The certain pain of continuing our addiction brought us to the admission of step 1, that “We were powerless over our addiction” and that we could not manage our lives unless we were free of it. Finally, we reached a point of surrendering unconditionally. The proof that our surrender was indeed unconditional was that we now refrained, one day at a time, from every form of bottom-line behaviour we saw as part of our own addictive pattern. Each of us, regardless of individual circumstances, was now willing to go to any lengths, a day at a time, to stay unhooked. This decision was unilateral. It did not depend on the cooperation or lack of cooperation of anyone. We were willing to be available to whatever might happen next within ourselves. Paradoxically, this was not willingness that came from strength, but from the certainty of the dire consequences of continuing on in our addiction. As we turned from the old patterns, the painful emotions we had always tried to evade brought us to a series of insights which were the gift of the Second Step.
Powerlessness is usually associated with feelings of depression, anxiety, hopelessness, guilt, shame, worthlessness, fear, and stress.
The negative feelings associated with powerlessness are because we feel like we have lost control. This is the cunning, baffling, and powerful effect of the ego mind. In reality no one ever has control of the Universe. It is when we realise that only a Higher Power or God has any control and relax into the flow of the Universe that we gain Real Personal Power and lose our ego.
Gary Zukav wrote “Anything that we do to make ourselves feel worthy and safe is a flight from the pain of powerlessness. Every pursuit of external power - every attempt to change the world or a person in order to make yourself feel valuable and safe - is a distraction from the pain of powerlessness.”
Henri Nouwen wrote that “Jesus' whole life and mission involve accepting powerlessness and revealing in this powerlessness the limitlessness of God's love. Here we see what compassion means. It is not a bending toward the underprivileged from a privileged position; it is not a reaching out from on high to those who are less fortunate below; it is not a gesture of sympathy or pity for those who fail to make it in the upward pull. On the contrary, compassion means going directly to those people and places where suffering is most acute and building a home there.”
Humility
Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton, who founded the first Catholic schools in the United States, said “To live simply so that others can simply live.” Mahatma Gandhi “I must reduce myself to zero. So long as a man does not of his own free will put himself last among his fellow-creatures, there is no salvation for him.” Your ability to realise your utter powerlessness, to be humble, to ‘empty your cup’ and be filled with your Higher Power, is how you will heal and recover, and will shine a light for others to do the same. You are brought to your knees so that you will pray.
Power
Powerlessness is not in contrast to Kafka’s quote “Don’t bend; don’t water it down; don’t try to make it logical; don’t edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.” But before you take such intuitively inspired action, you need to empty your cup of your ego. You need to realise, that "Power belongeth unto God," as it says in the Bible (Psalms 62:11). Remember also, that Jesus said “For, behold, the Kingdom of God is within you” (Luke 17:21).
Recovering from powerlessness
Powerlessness is an invitation to change. Recovery is an invitation to go from lack of awareness to awareness: From powerlessness to Real Personal Power. From sadness to joy. From pain to peace. Recovery is a simple plan that works for everyone. The 12 step approach can be applied to any powerlessness in your life. Befriend your powerlessness. Embrace it. It’s your first step to finding the real you and to stop giving away your personal power. There is another way. You can work a programme. Step 1 invites us that we are using an external thing, person, or circumstance, including external validation, to make our lives liveable. We need a new source of power. It begins with the admission that we are powerless over our lives and that our lives have become unmanageable. We create chaos. The structure of recovery can’t be based on compulsive behaviour. Recovery is done one day at a time. It means living fully in the present moment. It means true surrender to a Higher Power. You can change. You don’t need to surrender your power to whatever rules you. Although this is the universal human condition, we are not simply human. The basis of spirituality is to remember the divine in you. The pain and wound leads you to God. Your will, grit, determination, hustle, and perseverance in trying to control people, places, and things will not work. You have given your power away to them. It is by surrendering that we can begin to succeed. It’s is through our powerlessness that we can access all the power that we ever need. Your ego will turn your life to dust. You are your saviour. But to become your saviour you need to surrender your powerlessness to your Higher Power.
Our culture feeds the disease of addiction. We have no code or programme as to how to live. We are overwhelmed by the pain of being ourselves. The 12 steps are the way out of our detrimental habits. They are poor facsimiles of what we are actually seeking - spiritual bliss and unconditional love. We need to become a quantum leap away from Dr Jekyll turning into Mr Hyde. This is done through the 12 steps. This is nothing less than total personal transformation. Like turning water into wine. It’s choosing miracles over grievances. It’s developing a daily spiritual practice. It’s learning to hear the still quiet inner voice again. This programme is made by you for you using the 12 steps of recovery. If you don’t change, it will cost you your life. If you change, the entire foundation of your life will change.
12 step recovery
These concepts are widely seen in the disciplines of philosophy, spirituality, positive psychology, transformative coaching, and in timeless Truths, and are concisely encapsulated in the first step of the12 steps. In the AA ‘Big Book’ it states "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable." When we have finally admitted without reservation that we are powerless over alcohol, we are apt to breathe a great sigh of relief, saying, ‘Well, thank God that's over!’” The ‘Big Book’ calls powerlessness over alcohol as its first principle. AA members believe they cannot control their drinking without the help of a Higher Power. This belief is what gives them hope and helps them stay sober. This is the great paradox, that it is by accepting our powerlessness in life that we become powerful. Did Alcoholics Anonymous miraculously and metaphorically turn water into wine!?
Today, June 10th 2024, Alcoholics Anonymous celebrates the 89th anniversary since its founding in Akron, Ohio. On June 10th 1935, Bill Wilson and his friend Dr. Robert Smith set out to find the best way to reform alcoholics, and Alcoholics Anonymous was born. Bill W. learned early on that the best way to stay sober was to carry the message to other alcoholics. By reaching out and connecting with Dr. Bob, he was able to maintain his own sobriety while giving hope to Dr. Bob. Bill W. used spiritual principles to heal his physician friend. This design for living emphasised the need to seek help from others, find a power greater than themselves, and to carry the message to other alcoholics. Alcoholics Anonymous has saved millions of lives through its 123,000 AA groups, and continues to grow, as do many other 12 step groups, of which there are over 30 and counting.
Step 1
“For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate” (Romans 7:15). “For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out” (Romans 7:18). Jesus said “When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd” (Matthew 9:36). Step 1 in of the 12 steps is: We admitted we were powerless over (insert whatever you are powerless over), that our lives had become unmanageable.
Father Richard Rohr wrote about Step 1 in his book ‘Breathing Under Water’ “I must be upfront with you I do not really understand why God created the world this way. I do not know why power is at its best in weakness, as Paul says in the Bible, and ‘It is when I am weak that I am strong.’ It seems like God is some kind of trickster: Perhaps the divine is playing games with us. God seems to have hidden holiness and wholeness in a secret place where only the humble will find it. Some topsy turvy God has decided that those on the bottom will be revealed as the true top and those who try for the top will find nothing of substance there. Why such a disguise? Why such a game of hide and seek? All I know is that it matches my own observation. I cannot pretend to understand God but this is what I see: People who have moved from seeming success to seeming success seldom understand success at all. Except a very limited version of their own. People who fail to do it right, even by their own definition of right, are those who often breakthrough to Enlightenment and to compassion. It's still a mystery to me and will still be a mystery for you even if you read this book to the end. The big difference, and it is big, is that you will hopefully be able to accept and even revel in this cosmic economy of Grace. It is God's greatest surprise and God's constant disguise, but you only know it to be true by going through it and coming out the other side your Self. You cannot know it by just going to church, or reading scriptures, or listening to someone else talk about it, even if you agree with them. Until you bottom out and come to the limits of your own fuel supply there is no reason for you to switch to a higher octane of fuel. For that is what is happening. Why should you? You will not learn to actively draw upon a larger source until your usual resources are depleted and revealed as wanting. In fact, you will not even know there is a larger source until your own sources and resources fail you. Until unless there is a person, situation, event, idea, conflict, or relationship, that you cannot manage you will never find the true manager. So, God makes sure that several things will come your way that you cannot manage on your own. Self-made people and all heroic spiritualities will try to manufacture an even stronger self by willpower and determination to put them back in charge and seeming control. Usually, most people admire this, not realising the unbending, sometimes proud, and even rigid personality that will be the long-term result. They will then need to continue in this pattern of self-created successes and defences: This pushy response does not normally create loving people. But just people in control; an ever deeper need of control. Eventually the game is unsustainable. Unless you make others, even your whole family, pay the price for your aggression and self-assertion which is the common pattern. More commonly many Christians whittle down the great gospel to some moral issue over which they can feel totally triumphant and superior. And which usually asks nothing of them personally. The eagle always insists on moral high ground or as Paul brilliantly puts it ‘Sin takes advantage of commandments to mislead me and through obeying commandments kills me.' This is a quite extraordinary piece of insight on Paul's part. One which I would not believe myself where the disguise not so common. For example, celibate priests focusing on birth control and abortion as the core of evil, or heterosexuals seeing gay marriage as the ultimate threat to society. Or liberals invested in some current political correctness while living lives of rather total isolation from the actual suffering of the world. Bible thumpers ignoring most of the Bible when it asks them to change. A nation of immigrants being anti-immigrant. For example, we see that the ego is still in charge and just wears different disguises on both the left and on the right side of most groups and most issues. It is the imperial ego that has to go. Only powerlessness can do the job correctly.” Does this sound familiar? Bill W. recognised that very early in his 12 step programme. Otherwise, we try to engineer our own transformation by our own rules and by our own power which is by definition therefore not transformation!
During 12 step recovery, people use the tools of recovery to shrink their egoic self and develop closer conscious contact with their Higher Power in order to intuitively be able to handle any situation. The most effective way to stay sober is by using the tools of recovery. This includes attending meetings regularly, reading, writing, praying, practicing mindfulness, and staying connected with others who share similar struggles.
Human beings are the only creatures who do not mature automatically. A baby chick has no choice but to turn into a chicken. But the world is completely full of people stuck in childhood and adolescence, no matter how old they happen to be. For us, to mature is a decision: Adulthood is an achievement, one that requires and results in Real Personal Power.
For my full article on Real Personal Power click here:
Once you establish your core Self as a goal, your path will unfold and you will evolve.
Step 1 by Joe McQuany (from Joe and Charlie):
Joe McQ on Step 1: Powerlessness and power
In the AA Big Book ‘The Doctor’s Opinion’ it states that that for recovery “In nearly all cases, their ideals must be grounded in a power greater than themselves, if they are to re-create their lives… (The spree) is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery… On the other hand - and strange as this may seem to those who do not understand - once a psychic change has occurred, the very same person who seemed doomed, who had so many problems he despaired of ever solving them, suddenly finds himself easily able to control his desire for alcohol, the only effort necessary being that required to follow a few simple rules… Though the aggregate of recoveries resulting from psychiatric effort is considerable, we physicians must admit we have made little impression upon the problem as a whole. Many types do not respond to the ordinary psychological approach.“
In order to heal and recover we have to believe in some Power greater than ourselves. Not to believe in a Higher Power drives us to atheism. Atheism, it has been said before, is blind faith in the very strange proposition (and I can say this as a scientist with a PhD in Natural Sciences from University College London, a Master's degree in philosophy and the history of medicine and science from Trinity College, Cambridge, a medical degree from the University of London, and several other higher medical degrees) that this awe-inspiring wondrous Universe originated in a cipher (cipher comes from the Arabic sifr, which means "nothing" or "zero": The word came to Europe along with the Arabic numeral system) and aimlessly rushes nowhere. Atheism is quite depressing and sad, and is based on unproven dogma - no one has ever proved that there is no Universal force at work. Even the Giant Hadron Collider found a 'God particle' and quantum physics is starting to prove things that have been told by spiritual Masters for millennia. Albert Einstein was a a spiritual Master who believed in miracles: That was the source of his Real Personal Power. He was the 'Yoda' of physics. William Shakespeare was also a spiritual Master. How else would someone be the most popular writer of all time almost 500 years after he was born? Carl Jung was also a spiritual Master, and he revolutionised psychiatry and much more. Michelangelo, who had a passion for the sacred and the divine, was a spiritual Master. Are you starting to see a pattern? Do you think that you can truly have Real Personal Power without Faith? Good luck to you if you do: It's a hustle to nothingness. Your life will turn to dust and you won't be remembered. The most famous man of all time was Jesus: It won't be the Kardashians who will be talked about in a thousand years. Do you really think that there is no meaning to your existence? Really? That's practically impossible to believe. So we turn to that Divine Principle in the Universe that we sometimes conveniently call God, but your Higher Power can be anything that provides unconditional love and awe - your family, the fellowship, Nature, the starry night sky, or a Universal force at play and at work behind the scenes. Have you stopped trying to run your own life and started to believe? Do you have Faith? Pardon my French (I am half French, so I can say this) but atheism is a load of old bollocks. It's so strange that true spiritual Enlightenment carries the same title as the Age of Enlightenment which dates back to the 17th century, which essentially stated that there is no God and that we can only believe in science. Don't you think it's time for an update? Truth and wisdom far outweigh their lesser neighbour, knowledge. Knowledge is ever changing and bears no ultimate Truth, like wisdom. I can guarantee you that at any some in the future most knowledge and science will be revised and disproved, whereas wisdom and Truth are non-changing and cannot be disproved. Atheism is dogmatic, blind, non-sense.
Dharma
In India they make a distinction between dharma and adharma. Dharma includes whatever naturally upholds life: Joy, Truth, duty, virtue, wonder, worship, reverence, appreciation, nonviolence, unconditional love, and self-respect. On the other hand, adharma consists of choices that do not support life naturally: Anger, violence, fear, control, dogmatism, conflict, drama, judgement, projection, scepticism, unvirtuous acts, prejudice, intolerance, and unconsciousness in general.
For our purposes, dharma is the ultimate power. It easily supports you, a single individual. What is asked of you is that you honestly look at your everyday life and the choices you are making. Ask yourself how to increase the dharmic choices and decrease the adharmic ones. This involves in every moment asking your Self the question “What would love do now?” For my full article on this click the following call to action button:
The rewards
For all these things to happen you need to trust in a power that transcends everyday reality. Nothing described so far will come true without a higher reality. We are talking spirituality here, not religion. Fortunately, to have even a speck of consciousness is to be connected to the infinite consciousness that supports life, evolution, creativity, and intelligence. None of these things are accidental or a privilege handed out to the lucky few.
You will develop love and compassion and discover that you can forgive yourself and others. Fantasies of hurt and revenge are replaced with emotional maturation, healthy vulnerability, and softening. You see that there is untapped love all around you, so you move toward it. The fact that you desire to love and be loved starts to motivate you, without excuses about being unworthy.
You will have a spiritual awakening by practising the 12 steps. These are quantum leaps. Notice and learn when you have an epiphany; a moment of dramatic awakening. These are the great "Aha" experiences that peel away an entire layer of reality. We say that the heavens open, but really it's a new level of consciousness, one that brings more light. These experiences all lead back to the person you really are, and that person know that what really counts extends far beyond the individual: the glory of creation; the beauty of Nature; the heart qualities of love and compassion; and those unexpected epiphanies that bring the presence of God: These universal aspects are your true source of Real Personal Power. They are you, and you are all of them.
This can takes years or decades, but it starts with a vision of the 'core Self.' This is the part of you that connects to Truth, placing you at the centre of experiences that you personally create. To have a core self is to be the author of your own story; it is the exact opposite of choosing to be a victim, who must live a life authored by others, and who does not grow as a person.
The ego
It seems we can in no way engineer or steer our own conversion. If we try to change our ego with the help of our ego we only have a more well disguised ego. As physicist Albert Einstein frequently said “No problem can be solved by the same consciousness that caused the problem in the first place.”
Jesus used the metaphors of a grain of wheat, or a branch cut off from a vine for this arrogant ego: Paul used the unfortunate word ‘flesh’ which made most think he was talking about the body. So, some Bible translations now call it self-indulgence, which is much closer to the meaning, but Both Jesus and Paul were pointing to the isolated and protected small self, the ego, and they both said that it has to go.
The ego has been called ‘King Baby.’ Unless you want a traumatised baby running your life, you need to understand the importance of powerlessness, and how it ultimately leads to infinite power. Unless the grain of wheat falls on the ground and dies it remains only a single grain. But if it dies it will yield a rich harvest. To die to be reborn. For Paul, the flesh or ego, cannot get you where you want to go. Its concerns are too small and too selfish. An ego response is always an inadequate or even wrong response to the moment. It will not deepen or broaden life, love or joy. Your ego self is always attached to mere externals since it has no inner substance itself. It craves external validation. The ego defines itself by its attachments and revulsions. The soul does not attach, nor does it hate. It desires, and loves, and lets go. All mature spirituality is about letting go. As many teachers of the 12 steps have said the first step is probably the hardest, the most denied, and the most avoided. So, the whole process never takes off. No one likes to metaphorically die to who they think they are (their ego). But you must, if you are to transform. “Their false self is all they have” as trappist monk and spiritual writer Thomas Merton writes in ‘New Seeds of Contemplation.’ This classic of Merton’s is still probably the best clarification of what we mean by the true Self and the false self. Letting go is not in anybody's programme for happiness. All mature spirituality in one sense or another is about letting go and unlearning. The German philosopher Meister Eckhart said “The spiritual life has much more to do with subtraction than it does with addition.”
What the ego hates more than anything else in the world is to change. Even when the present situation is not working or is horrible. Instead, we do more and more of what does not work. As many others have rightly said about addicts and I would say about all of us. The reason we do anything one time more is because the last time did not really satisfy us deeply.
When we feel that matters are hopeless something breaks in the human ego and awakens the Divinity within us. It is from this position of extreme vulnerability and powerlessness that we discover Faith, humility, and compassion. It is from the place of powerlessness that we begin to pray.
Zen Buddhism
A story is told in Zen Buddhism about an old priest with a high-ranking position in one of the big temples. Despite his standing, the priest was grieved that his spiritual eye had not opened. Therefore, he decided to go and study Zen under the great Master Hakuin.
Though most of his time was taken up by his duties in the temple, the priest managed to visit Hakuin every day for several years. Despite these daily visits, he experienced no spiritual awakening. So the priest went to Master Hakuin and said:
‘With such merciful instructions of yours, still I cannot see anything.’
Master Hakuin replied:
‘Don’t be discouraged so soon. Redouble your efforts and try for three more years. If at the end of the three years, you are still unable to arrive at anywhere, cut my head off!’
For the next three years, the old priest strove with all his might, but still nothing happened. He came back to Hakuin and declared:
“I cannot see anything.’
‘Can’t you!’ Master Hakuin answered. ‘It will be of no use even if you cut my head off. Try once and for all for three more months.’
Three months passed and still nothing happened. The priest then went to Hakuin with tears in his eyes and cried out:
‘You have given me such kind instructions, but still I cannot see anything due to my heavy karma.’
‘Nothing can be done now’, Hakuin answered him; ‘no use for you to live any longer.’
The priest bowed to Master Hakuin saying, ‘Thank you indeed for your kind teaching for these years. With death I will atone for wasting it.’
He then left the monastery and walked up the mountain path to the edge of a deep precipice. The view from the precipice was breathtaking. The priest sat down on a rock and looked out over the landscape. In so doing, he fell into a state of deep meditation, forgetting all about himself.
Hours went by, the night passed and the first rays of dawn broke through the eastern sky. Absent-mindedly, the priest stood up to cast himself into the void. Just as he was about to step off the cliff, the sun broke through the clouds. Suddenly, he felt as if electricity ran through his body and the darkness in his mind disappeared.
The experience of our powerlessness brings us face to face with the emptiness inside us. It is in confronting our emptiness that our inner life begins. In this place of emptiness, we meet God. In this space of ayin or ‘Nothingness’, we discover our true Self. Jacob calls the place of his great interior battle Peniel (Face of God) - for, he said, “I have seen God face to face” (Genesis 32:31). Powerlessness, however, is not an exclusively Jewish struggle. It is part of the reality of all humanity, and it plays an important role in other religions as well. Buddhism places special emphasis on recognising the fleeting nature of this physical existence and contemplating the truth of our own insignificance. Our impotency before the onset of sickness, old age and death is a central theme in Buddhism. As the Dhammapada tells us:
“A house of bones is this body, bones covered with flesh and with blood. Pride and hypocrisy dwell in this house and also old age and death.”
Hinduism
The realisation of our extreme vulnerability in the face of the great forces of life is also the subject of many teachings in Hinduism. One of Sri Ramakrishna’s favourite sayings was:
“God laughs on two occasions. He laughs when the physician says to the patient’s mother, ‘Don’t be afraid, mother; I shall certainly cure your boy.’
I have also heard the spiritual joke “’How do you make God laugh?’ ‘Tell him your plans.’”
The experience of powerlessness strips away all of our defences. It destroys all the fantasies that we have constructed about ourselves and about our lives. It tears down the superficial facades that we have created to support the comfortable illusion. Only the experience of powerlessness will blow apart this great illusion and pull us into the inner core of emptiness where we our true Self dwells.
Early humanity’s defencelessness caused our ancestors to worship the gods of nature to appease their anger and gain their blessing. Later, trepidation before the many trials in life led our forefathers to seek out the assistance of a higher power through prayer and supplication. Today, awareness of our intrinsic human limitations serves to kindle a profound inner search within us. It forces us deep inside ourselves to discover who we are.
The paradox of powerlessness
An encounter with powerlessness is a Divine gift that breaks the hold of our physical consciousness and brings us to union with our infinite Source. So, here’s the paradox: the only way to feel truly powerful is to fully grasp how powerless we are. When we understand how small our sphere of influence is, we are empowered to do those things that will truly have an impact through true surrender. The most important and effective work you can do to be empowered is on your Self. When you have ultimate power over your Self, you have a power that very few others have. When they see that power in you, you gain respect and admiration. With that comes the power to affect real change.
The problem, though, is that it’s really hard to gain that kind of power over your Self. Our minds are so active and instinctive - racing around and working based on conditioned habits - that we can rarely sit alone with our thoughts and effectively shape our focus and attention. It’s why listening effectively is difficult. It’s why doing difficult focused work is difficult. It’s why there is such an interest in spiritual practices of all sorts - because they heavily emphasise this kind of work on one's Self.
But it all begins with realising how powerless we are. With that realisation comes liberation. We are free to start from zero and make incremental progress toward working with the ebbs and flows of life - rather than against it. We are free to work with our minds to make them more skilful - rather than against them. We are then free to become powerful - and all because we admitted we were powerless.
Ironic but powerful right?
Conclusions
Absolute power corrupts absolutely. Absolute powerlessness heals absolutely through a regaining of your Real Personal Power.
Blaise Pascal wrote “There is nothing that we can see on Earth which does not either show the wretchedness of man or the mercy of God. One either sees the powerlessness of man without God, or the strength of man with God.”
Chuck Smith wrote “God will allow us to follow self-help, self-improvement programs until we have tried them all, until we finally come to the honest confession, ‘I can't do it. I can't be righteous in my own strength!’ It is then, when we admit our utter powerlessness, that we find hope. For it is then when the Lord intervenes to do a work that we could not do for ourselves.”
Powerlessness is the existential launchpad for the recovery of your soul, it’s divine purpose, and its true power.
Very quietly God speaks through your thoughts and feelings. Heed the Divine voice of your conscience. Listen for this and you will never be disappointed in the results in your life. Listen for this small, still voice and your tired nerves will become rested. The Divine voice comes to you as strength as well as tenderness, as power as well as restfulness. Your moral strength derives its effectiveness from the power that comes when you listen patiently for the still, small voice.
Remember that if you judge addict, you are judging your Self. As Dr Gabor Maté says "90 percent of people are addicts, and the other 10 percent are kidding themselves."
So the question is, “Has your life become unmanageable and you have you become powerless?” You are very much not alone.
Namaste.
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I am very pleased to meet you. Thank you for reading this far. I very much look forward to connecting with the highest version of you, to seeing your highest possibility, and to our conversations. Please do contact me via my website for a free connection call and a free experience of coaching.
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Olly Alexander Branford MBBS, MA(Cantab), PhD
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I have a Bachelor's degree in Natural Sciences from Trinity College, Cambridge; a Master's Degree in Philosophy from Trinity College, Cambridge; a PhD Doctorate in Scientific Research from University College London (UCL); a Medical Degree (MD/MBBS) from The Royal Free Hospital School of Medicine, London and have been a doctor and reconstructive trauma and cancer surgeon in London for 20 years. I have published over 50 peer reviewed scientific journal articles, have been an associate editor and frequent scientific faculty member, and am the author of several scientific books. I have been awarded my Diploma in Transformative Life Coaching in London, which has International Coaching Federation (ICF) Accreditation, as well as the UK Association for Coaching (AC), and the European Mentoring and Coaching Council (EMCC). I have been on my own transformative journey full time for four years and I am ready to be your guide to you finding out who you really are and how the world works.