What You Resist, Persists
- olivierbranford
- Mar 2
- 8 min read
Updated: Mar 20
Psychiatrist, psychotherapist, and psychologist Carl Jung said something that has stuck with me since I first came across it. He observed, "What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size.”
“Whatever you fight, you strengthen. What you resist, persists,” says spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle.
The more I fight my thoughts, fears, feelings, and intuition, the stronger they become. It’s almost like trying not to picture a pink elephant. Boom. Pink elephant. Psychologists have a term for it. It’s called the "White bear problem.” The more you suppress a thought, the more your brain checks in on it. Like a bad song stuck on repeat.
Carl Jung said "What you resist, persists."
We all avoid the hard truth about ourselves and our lives.
We fight our shadows; the hidden parts of ourselves we would rather not talk about. We deny our flaws. We ignore our wounds. We avoid the wreckage of our past. We have thoughts that we push away. We have feelings that we try to bury. Maybe it’s fear. Maybe it’s sadness. Maybe it's unresolved grief. Perhaps it’s anger. We want these things to disappear.
We try to ignore them.
We resist them with all our might. But they don’t go away. They become stronger. According to Jung, they return stronger. They grow in size. Jung understood the human psyche. He knew that resistance was futile. It doesn’t work. It actually makes things worse. What we resist, persists. It can get to the point of your spiritual journey where your only anxieties are in relation to what you are resisting: It's the final hurdle!
That is the paradox of resistance.
You can try to ignore your sadness. But it will keep showing up in your interactions. In your relationships. We believe we must control everything. So we distract ourselves in order to numb the anxiety, pain, or fear. But it doesn’t go away. It just builds. Resistance is a struggle. Struggle creates more struggle. Until one day, it explodes without your consent.
The harder you resist, the more you will feel stuck in agonising limbo. The more pain, fear, and anxiety you will feel.
I resisted my strong emotions for years. We all do. If I felt sad, I’d push it away. If I felt angry, I’d bury it. I’ve been practising a different approach now. I’m facing them. I name it to transcend it. I choose acceptance. I choose surrender. I acknowledge my pain. And then sit with it. I consciously notice its presence. I observe it. I feel whatever is going through me. I let it be. Or let it go.
Resistance has never worked for me. It doesn't work for anyone.
Acknowledgement means I can observe it come and go. Like a passing cloud. Or better still, if it’s something that needs a positive response, I can act from a calm place with clarity. What I accept loses its hold on me. What I acknowledge starts to shrink.
I spend unnecessary time in my head. Wishing it away. But the longer I resist it, the more I suffer in my head. I don’t have to win some imaginary war in my head. Some things can’t just exist in your head. Talking about it helps me. The more I face what I resist, the less scary things become. Every time you share something you halve its power over you. Conflicts and disagreements are normal in any relationship. You are allowed to feel hurt. But avoiding talking about them doesn’t work. Sweeping them under the rug changes nothing. You will realise that there is no pain or fear when you actually face your fears.
We resist the difficult conversations.
But the problems don’t disappear. They fester and grow. Resentment builds. Communication breaks down. The relationship suffers. That small initial issue becomes a major rift. You don’t want that. I try not to get that far.
Sometimes, resistance is subtle. It’s the little things we push away. The tasks we keep postponing. The expenses we can’t seem to sort out. The mess we refuse to resolve. We avoid them. But they don’t go away. They grow bigger in our minds. And become looming monsters. The anxiety increases.
The task, originally small, feels overwhelming. We feel worse.
We are stuck in limbo. All the distractions only make them come back worse. What you resist is a form of judgement. You judge the feeling, task, or the person causing friction. You think it’s “bad.” Judgement is the core of resistance. You are saying “This should not be.” But “should not be” is a fight against reality.
The feeling just is. The task just is. The person just is. The only way out is acceptance. You don’t have to like them. You don’t have to agree with them. But you can stop resisting them. You can create space for them. We can learn from them. I know, it’s not easy. It takes practice. A lot of practice. It also takes courage and vulnerability. But it’s worth it. Because when you stop resisting, you are free.
The good news is you have more control than you think. You can start noticing what you’re pushing away. Notice where you’re holding tension. In your body. In your mind. In your heart. Name it to tame it. Or let it go. Hiding from everything we resist doesn’t work. Sit with your fear. Listen. And act from a place of awareness.
It’s about life. We resist change. We resist uncertainty. We resist pain and fear. But the more we fight, the more we suffer. Byron Katie said, “When you argue with reality, you lose — but only 100% of the time.”
Denying what is a battle you can’t win.
When we stop resisting, we create space: We create space for healing; We create space for growth. We can begin to understand our emotions. Our personality traits. We can learn from them. We can find healthier ways to transcend, let go, or respond to everything we resist. And even integrate them into ourselves. Acknowledging our struggles is how we can finally begin to overcome them.
I believe I can: I believe you can too.
It’s how we free ourselves from the tyranny of our own minds. It’s the path to a more fulfilling life. And it all starts with letting go of resistance.
I am still learning. You are still learning. We all are.
It all begins and ends with your thinking. Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.
What you give power to has power over you, if you allow it.
Don’t be pushed around by fears in your mind, be led by dreams in your heart.
You are in charge of how you feel, so choose joy.
If there is anything in your life that you are facing that you don't like or are afraid of, instead of hating it or being scared by it, love it, as it is the only thing standing between you and God. Love it to death!
Namaste.
Olly
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