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What You Want is Not What You Need

Updated: Mar 13

Les Brown said “You don’t get what you want in life. You get who you are.” What does mean?..


Les Brown said “You don’t get what you want in life. You get who you are.”


Mick Jagger sang in 1969 with The Rolling Stones in the song ‘You Can't Aways Get What You Want:

You can't always get what you want. I tell you, baby 

You can't always get what you want, no 

But if you try sometimes you just might find, uh, mm 

You get what you need, oh yeah, woo!


'You Can't Always Get What You Want' by the Rolling Stones. It's appropriate that the image of a cake. If you stuff your face with cake like a gluttonous spoilt child, you will always end up disappointed and feeling awful.


There is a big difference between wants and needs. Needs are called needs because we need them. Wants are things that you don’t need but want anyway. Everyone has needs, and that’s ok. Most of us don’t know what our needs are. Wants are linked to ego – the ‘King Baby’ who is always “I, ME, MINE” (coincidentally this is the name of George Harrison’s autobiography).


We are taught to differentiate between our wants (which are never satisfied) and our needs (which are always provided for). We cast off the burdens of the past and the anxieties of the future, as we begin to live in the present, one day at a time. We are granted “The serenity to accept the things we cannot change” —and thus lose our quickness to anger and our sensitivity to criticism. Above all, we reject fantasising and accept reality.


When it comes to Transformative Life Coaching (TLC) many people come saying that they want more money, a promotion, a more senior job, a better car, to be more productive at work, and they act like a spoiled child – like a ”Kid in a candy store.” They want to have more 'stuff'. They think that they have to struggle to be happy. They don’t know who they truly are. If they lost all their material wealth, they would have no identity. The order of their wants is “Have, do, BE.”


There are the universal needs of the human condition, which are the inverse of our fears. So, we need to know who we truly are, we need love, we need to feel worthy, we need to feel that we won’t be abandoned, and we need to want to truly live. Our fears are that we are not loved or loveable, that we are not worthy, that we will be abandoned, and that we will die. Our fears form our limiting beliefs, and are what limits us from infinite possibility. Fear is the language of the ego.


Why are wants bad? Because you don’t need them, and your appetite for them is insatiable. They make you stagnate. They keep you small. They come from a place of lack, and they keep you there. People who are obsessed with their wants don’t get the top jobs, and they lack Real Personal Power. They grab, like the kid in the candy store, stuff their faces, and they then wonder why their life is a limited mess based on lack.


Someone who knows who they are and knows their real needs go through life with the reverse of the above order: They are “BE, do, have.” The doing flows from their BEing, and their doing flows from their doing, like a river flowing to the ocean. They have true abundance, as they have the incomparable wealth of knowing who they truly are, which means that their doing is always something aligned with their soul, and the having flows as a law of Nature.


We are human BEings, not ‘human doings’, and not ‘human havings’.


With TLC I explain this to you, so that you can begin to know who you truly are (BEing). I will see the Highest in you until you see it for your Self. You are a spiritual BEing having a human experience, not a human being having a spiritual experience.


Steve Maraboli said that “Your life is a reflection… You don’t get what you WANT, you get who you ARE. You gotta BE it to SEE it.” George Whitman said “Give what you can, take what you need.” Are you ready to take the journey inwards?



Getting what you need – knowing your Self – your own BEing – is the key to all forms of abundance.


Namaste.


Sending you love, light, and blessings brothers.


Olly



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Hello,

I am delighted and enchanted to meet you. I coach men with 'Deep Coaching', 'Supercoaching', and Transformative Life Coaching (TLC). Thank you for reading this far. I very much look forward to connecting with the highest version of you, to seeing your highest possibility, and to our conversations. Please do contact me via my email for a free connection call and a free experience of coaching on Zoom or in person. 


“Transformative life coaching uniquely creates and holds the space for you to see your self afresh, with clarity, and step into new ways of BEing, which will transform how you perceive and intuitively create your world. My work is to guide you to raise your own conscious awareness to the level that you want to achieve.”







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I have a Bachelor's degree in Natural Sciences from Trinity College, Cambridge; a Master's Degree in Philosophy from Trinity College, Cambridge; a PhD Doctorate in Scientific Research from University College London (UCL); a Medical Degree (MD/MBBS) from The Royal Free Hospital School of Medicine, London and have been a doctor and reconstructive trauma and cancer surgeon in London for 20 years. I have a number of other higher qualifications in science and surgery. I have published over 50 peer reviewed PubMed cited scientific journal articles, have been an associate editor and frequent scientific faculty member, and am the author of several scientific books. I have been awarded my Diploma in Transformative Life Coaching in London, which has International Coaching Federation (ICF) Accreditation, as well as the UK Association for Coaching (AC), and the European Mentoring and Coaching Council (EMCC). I have been on my own transformative journey full time for over five years and I am ready to be your guide to you finding out who you really are and how the world works.




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